I don’t like my job, it’s stressful, long hours and can’t switch off from it when at home. It’s making me tired, unmotivated, grumpy and quiet.  I’ve put up with being like this for 1 1/2 years now but it’s got to the point where something has to change.

I have an interview for another job in a couple of weeks, for a public sector company where I used to work. If I don’t get the job, I’m seriously considering quitting and taking a low paid job for a couple of months while I work out what to do and try to get back to my normal self and rebalance my work and life.

Has anyone else been in this position and just quit for the sake of their sanity and health. How did it pan out? Was it a bad move? Did you feel better and was it the best thing you’ve done.

Thanks

What industry are you in?

The wise monkey never lets go of the branch until it has a firm grasp on the next branch

You should defo get out of a shit situation if your finances can stand it.

I am moving jobs because of the management of me in my role.

I have 10 days till I start my new position and can’t wait.

I did the wise monkey thing, got myself another job in a different field and left a job like you describe. Involved a paycut of about £6k – which was a significant chunk of my income – but found myself a nicer person, a better dad, a more enjoyable partner…

Best thing I ever did.

Good luck in your new endeavours!

I quit what most would consider a very high-paying job last year for reasons similar to the ones you give, as well as some others. The point being that the monthly paycheck just wasn’t worth the toll on my family life and my mental health.

I’m now at college full-time doing an NVQ in Domestic Gas Engineering. I’m skint but I’m continuously happy/content now rather than the extreme highs/lows I experienced in my last job.

The wise monkey never lets go of the branch until it has a firm grasp on the next branch

Word.

OP don’t assume you can just walk into a  “low paid job” the next day, the low-end is really competitive and employers don’t want some over-skilled guy dropping in for 2-3 months and then leaving again with all the costs in training and recruitment.

yeah i quit my well paid job a couple of years ago because of exactly the same reasons you list above.

In answer to your question, its the best thing i could have done,  my life is a whole lot better now.  If you can afford it, do it.

I’m in environmental consultancy.  I get the wise monkey thing, but how long would I be holding onto the branch for, and all the time I’m holding, I feel worse and worse

As long as you’re holding, you ain’t falling

Only you know how close the edge you are now and how much of that can be ‘blamed’ on the job.

I was in a job I hated and was arguably making me ill. I left for the job I’m in now (actually work at the same place as when I started but my role has changed significantly since then) that I love. However, if I had left my previous job for something low wage just to get out of the situation I am convinced I would have been overlooked for the job I got that made me long term happy.

I have looked at a lot of CVs over the years – the ones where the job history does not make sense don’t always make it to the top of the pile. If they do and get interviewed be prepared for some tough questioning and skeptical listeners.

As long as you’re holding, you ain’t falling

Unless the thing you’re holding onto is also falling…

I’m in environmental consultancy. I get the wise monkey thing, but how long would I be holding onto the branch for, and all the time I’m holding, I feel worse and worse

Try to narrow down the issues that cause the problem to you.

List them in the order of the worst to the least.

Then post the problems here (no need too detail) then STW masses perhaps can provide you some ideas to deal with them.

I quit my well paid job 2yrs ago for exactly those reasons, but I did have my own business to fall back on. Big payout but I’m in a much happier place and working with the wide everyday…….

She complains that we have less cash, no holiday this year for example, but our health and happiness has improved.

I did for the same reasons you mentioned.  I had quite a well paid job, 5-6 people working “under” me, but got totally miffed with the management and unrealistic expectations.  Quit and took an 8k pay cut & started a complete change of career.  2.5 months later and it didn’t work out, found myself unemployed over December & January.  Not ideal!  Ended up doing a bit of agency work for peanuts, but through that got chatting to my current employers and things have gone from strength to strength.  Not up to my original salary (yet) but so much happier, sleeping betterer, and a much nicer person (probably)

Life’s too short

I done it once, had a new job lined up by the time my notice period was done a month later, and started that a month after that meaning I only missed out on a months salary. It normally ytakes about 3 months to find, apply, interview etc for a new job before starting it, if you are confident you will be in demand than it could be worth it.

Quit my job 18 months ago, that much has happened since it may as well been a lifetime.

Feels like we spend the first half of our working life striving to accomplish ‘something’ working harder to earn more money so that we can feel some sort of self worth from spending so much time and energy at work

then comes the realisation what a load of nonsense all of that is, and there is the serious business of living to be done. I’m much happier working for a lot less money, living frugally in some ways (and without wanting to sound too cliched) a lot richer in others.  Time on this planet is precious, don’t waste it thinking what if.

I get the feeling that many of us in our 40s and older have reached the tier of seniority that leads to pressure, stress and an unenjoyable work life balance. In some cases like my wife’s she’s not even paid well for the privilege of the huge head ache.

I too would very much like to step away (electrical engineering) and go back to the good old days of little or no responsibility and have recently looked and had interviews but this has been fruitless as most employers won’t entertain experience over young and cheap. So to go back to easy cad work is almost impossible now. The same employers offered me an engineering role equivalent to my own even though these were not advertised but that’s not what I wanted. It’s very frustrating and slightly disconcerting to think I can’t easily just wait for another few years before the kids are grown up then leave and get a lowly junior engineering role where I can walk away at 5 every night with impunity.

Thee will be something out there but I’d rather not work in B&Q for nowt when I could drop down a few rungs in engineering and still be paid a half decent salary.

Tis a dilemma I tell you.

**** hate my job but I would hate any job. At least the pay is ok. I would rather work for myself but being a kind of software developer means either

#1. Develop and sell a product. I have no ideas on this front.

#2. Big long full-time contracts that could be anywhere in the country. Which puts me in a similar situation to my current one

I would have thought it would be easier to get another “good” job whilst you currently have one?

Don’t quit unless you’ve got something to go to. I resigned last month, last day tomorrow, after 12 years in this job. Had many ups and downs and times when I felt like the OP and just wanted to jack it in and retrain as a carpenter or something. But the reality of being the main (and for a good number of years the sole) earner can get you through a lot in my experience. Even having a week off unpaid between jobs I’m going to notice financially.

What I would say is focus your job hunting on times when you feel better about work (they will come back). When I felt low I felt extra stuck as my confidence was shot and I didn’t know what I had to offer other shops. Also if you do that, when you do quit your old employer takes notice!

Hm, yes and no. I was on point of quitting my job as it was driving me beyond reason, and was causing stress and strife in my life. But for some reason I held off ‘just a bit longer’ and lo I was made redundant anyway. Result.

I get the feeling that many of us in our 40s and older have reached the tier of seniority that leads to pressure, stress and an unenjoyable work life balance.

The way I see is that after working for so many years we can do a better job but the situation/people above us prevented our progress. i.e. we can do better but others just prevent us from doing so for various reasons.  This is usually related to bad management or insecure management.

Don’t quit unless you’ve got something to go to.

^^^ this,  hang in there for a while until you have something waiting.

p/s: also if you can start on your own whatever that is then do it, as you will have more satisfaction out of it so long as you are happy with the income you get.

I quit my first job with nothing to go to – not because I really hated it, but because I wanted to get married and live with my wife and her job/career prospects (in different city) seemed better at the time. However this was 25 years ago, I was young and well-qualified and suitable entry-level jobs were plentiful. I think I actually found a new job before working out my notice period.

Have been through this a few years ago. This place was enormously helpful and I thank everyone for the advice I received at the time.

I eventually quit. think the sign-off period was 6 weeks in total. Took some time out to properly get my head in order, gain a sense of perspective then landed a good contracting job locally. I was very fortunate. Looking back it was a good life changing event.

My advice to you would be to take time, don’t quit but possibly see your doctor as it sounds like stress. Should you get signed off, request that they do not record the sign-off as stress-related as this can cause insurance issues later on.

Good luck to you!

Hm, yes and no. I was on point of quitting my job as it was driving me beyond reason, and was causing stress and strife in my life. But for some reason I held off ‘just a bit longer’ and lo I was made redundant anyway. Result.

Same happened to me, I was stressed to the max and miserable, it almost cost me my relationship. Then I was made redundant, the payout helped us put a deposit down for the house we now live in 😊

I looked at getting a low paid basic job but nobody wanted to employ me after looking at my CV. I guess it quickly transpires that you are going to be out of there as soon as you find something more in line with your experience and qualifications. The people doing the interviews aren’t stupid either, they have seen it all.

Eventually, I found a low paid office admin type job but a month later I got recommended by an ex-colleague to the place I am now. 2 years, 2 promotions and bonuses later I am still here, just got another new assignment yesterday. I am now earning more than I used to at the stressful job, and my quality of life is vastly improved.

OP should go for it, there are good jobs out there, don’t put up with the crap.

Yes

I quit full time work as I was burnt out and went to a zero hours contract in the NHS.  But I am fortunate that as a nurse I can always get temping work

I went from £2000 a month to under £1000 a month  but regained my sanity and my appetite for the job so returned to full time work after 10 years of very part time

As long as you’re holding, you ain’t falling

There’s more than one way of getting around the jungle, said the even wiser monkey.  If you can’t get to any other branches from where you’re hanging, you’re getting grumpy and tired and holding on to that one branch just isn’t any fun any more, you’re not too far from the ground that you can’t let go, and walk to another tree.

Depends on how much the fall will hurt, if at all, and how far it is to walk to the next tree.

Look at in house environmental advisor roles in construction, utilities etc, few and far between admittedly but none of the commercial, sales, time sheet filling BS that comes with consultancy. Different frustrations but thats the same with any job

Similar position here, and I gave my notice in today after another talking to from the useless Manager.

Rather than saying ‘thanks lads for working over the bank holiday weekend’, we were told we hadnt worked hard enough as the job still wasnt finished. I told him my pay wasnt enough, all he had to do was say ‘ OK, I’ll have a word with the boss, and see what we can do’. He just said ‘you are on the same as everyone else’ Even though I’m in charge of them!

I’ve got nothing to go to yet, but I’m not too worried, if need be I’ll go to Agency work.

Contrary to advice above and to bemusement/confusion of family I left a “good” job just after reaching a milestone some years ago (felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown and becoming non-functional in parts of life :D).  Had no other job or income lined up.  Plan was simply to get out of London a while, work on projects, relax, travel, maybe start a business (didn’t happen) and if not change career direction.  It worked out very well.  Now I’m in a position that would have been unreachable from my old “path”.

Some factors in my favour:

* No partner or kids to support.

* Had savings and lived frugally (no car, barely drink etc).

* Was in a houseshare I was happy to leave, wasn’t interested in the places I could afford to buy in London.

* Still relatively young.

Downsides:

* My little business idea didn’t work out and (I’m embarrassed to admit) the idea of a regular salary started to appeal.

* The joy of freedom eventually wore off and occasionally I missed the structure of work.

* It was harder to break into a new area at the same seniority and in the end I went back to my old employer but in a different area with better manager etc.  (The latter was actually a positive and I was able to move to my current employer in <1 year).

* Generally I came to the conclusion you are somehow much more attractive if you are already employed.  After a few months of (in the eyes of a potential employer) “doing nothing” they seem to think you’re a slacker 🙁 I’m sad to say I even think that sometimes now.

* I got hit by a car in the first week, which scuppered a few plans!

So I think it’s a decision that depends heavily on your circumstances and plans (although, if you were like me, part of your plan was simply to get some breathing space before even thinking about anything longer term).

Now I am getting itchy feet again.  However I probably wouldn’t leave without having something concrete lined up, thanks to becoming more risk averse.  I would follow @chewkw ‘s approach more aggressively – objectively figure out what’s wrong and problem solve.

I did the same and hit the ground running. The first year i earnt more than i had on staff and was much happier, and ahd much more free time… until June this year…and for some reason i’ve hit the buffers and HOLY SHIT I am shitting bricks about the next few months. I’ve probably had 2/3 days work in the last month and starting to really consider the wisdom of what i did!

A lot of this thread resonates with my experiences.

My last job I started as a junior / mid level software engineer in a fintech company and within 2 years I was a team leader. I was then promoted to a development manager with 12 people under me. All through this I thought promotion + more money = winning.

All that time i was getting less and less exposure to the tools. I was also trying to motivate my team and also manage expectations everywhere, be it delivery dates, wage rises etc. Thing is I wasn’t paid much more than the people in my team, and it was a bit stressful. I didn’t hate the job but recognised the danger of remaining in that role for a few more years would mean i wouldn’t be able to easily go back to bring a developer, and I could have found myself unemployable in a job I despise.

So after a few years I left that with a 5k pay cut to be a software engineer in a small company and it was without a doubt the absolutely best thing I could have done. I’ve achieved so much and it’s been infinitely more interesting. I’m also way more employable I’d pretty much be able to walk into most software engineering jobs now, or could go it alone contracting. Family life is much better now as new job is way more relaxed as long as stuff gets done.

Listen to your gut feel. 90% of the time it’s right.

I’d probably look for something before jumping, but that’s my risk averse attitude.

OP, in a similar situation to you and glad you asked the question about quitting to get a low paid job as a stop-gap, just to get out. Some useful replies ^^^ doing enough to dissuade me from doing that. I too am in environmental consultancy and noticed the last 18 months or so has gone nuts with stress affecting a lot of consultants. It is positive to read about others here who took the pay cut and got a better work/life/health balance, so just need to get the confidence to move.

I’ve been on both sides of this one:

My last proper job was with a very good company and for a long time this was my perfect job. Then I was pushed into managing a bigger and bigger team, and then my job effectively doubled when i also became someone’s maternity cover (a thankless task, never ever do that!)

Meanwhile my partner’s business was growing fast and starting to put demands on me outside of work.

The pressure just got too much for me and I went through some pretty bad depression and anxiety.

I had chosen to leave long before I actually did. It was really important to me not to leave them in the shit, and also I wanted my annual bonus which I damn well deserved that year! But the wait was so hard, and so was handing in my notice. Then they put me on gardening leave which was nice 😁

Looking back it was the best thing I ever did, but I had a pretty big safety net with my partner’s business. Time will tell but it was also probably the end of my engineering career which is quite a sad thought.

In your situation OP I probably would have secured my next job before jumping. Even if it is temporary or a big step down but relevant to your profession, it will look better on your CV.

——-

Fast forward to my new life, my wife and I share running the business and it’s meant we could focus on starting a family etc.

As an employer we have seen the same situation from the other side.

In any job people sometimes get bored, frustrated, and sometimes we can’t fix what they don’t like about their job. They eventually get to the point where they just need a change. We can’t make that change for them.

Sometimes we see that happening before they have realised it themselves! Being in a job you hate is not good for anyone and can have a negative effect on the rest of the team, and it has most definitely had a negative affect on my wife and I too.

My other advice from an employer’s point of view, is that (unless things are really bad) you should try to be professional and respectful right up to your last day! It might be tempting to stick 2 fingers up on your way out, but it won’t really achieve anything except bad feelings. Don’t burn your bridges.

Coming from someone with a classic useless degree and stuck both mentally and probably skill wise in a low paid <24k job. I’d stick with what you have if it’s paying the bills and bikes. It’s demoralising watching your friends doing so well whilst your stuck worrying if you can afford a tank of petrol.

Take a week off or use your holiday to shorten your weeks, but don’t quit and become poor.

Your mental health is more important than a job. Unfortunately today everyone want things quicker, cheaper whilst coping with a lot more red tape.

If you have no one depending on you as well!!

I literally got home from work yesterday an typed out my letter of resignation. My wife persuaded me not to hand it in today, but start looking for something first. I’d love to get out of civil engineering completely, or like the electrical engineer previous, go back to more basic cad work, but don’t think that’s gonna happen.

Oh well, phoned in sick today so next job is get the cv up to scratch and get it sent out to a few companies. The change might be enough for now….

Any potential in changing the way your role works at your current employer? If you can identify what makes you unhappy and find a way of tweaking it so that it works for you and the company, it might be worth a shot, even if it’s only short term. If you’re going to shelve it all anyway, you’ve nothing to lose by raising it as an option.

I’ve done that in the past and it worked pretty well for a couple of years. I’ve also simply walked away a couple of times when I simply felt I was going nowhere.

I’ve done it twice, three times if you include taking voluntary severance. I’ve never regretted doing it. Life is too long to mess about being unhappy.