Just heard a story about a man who, having been married for over 30 years, pushed his wife down the stairs and stabbed her when he learnt she had been having an affair with the best man from their wedding…for all their married life.

She did not die, he got 4 (or was it 5?) years. Does she deserve punishment through the legal system?

You are kidding, right?

Why should she be punished?
She’s stayed with her husband for 30 years, there’s obviously been something good about the relationship, even if she wanted more than just him.

Moses, I guess that’s a “no” from you then

the story was on Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 about half an hour ago

Are you the cuckold? Odd question, even for this place. Especially in the Bike Forum.

Anyway, that’s what you get for listening to bl00dy Jeremy Vine.

Are you the cuckold? Odd question, even for this place.

No
Having heard the story I had enormous sympathy for the husband. I could not imagine the humiliation of – IMO – living a lie for all that time. I don’t know if his kids or Grandkids were aware but nonetheless, we’re talking about his wife and his best man, possibly best friend. Maybe his marriage wasn’t a happy one, I don’t know. Maybe his wife had been trying for years to get a divorce. Again I don’t know thos facts either. I just threw out a hypothetical question

If they agreed to be in an exclusive relationship then he’s right to be cheesed off.

Quite a mild reaction for thirty years of deceit.

Before people think I am, I’m not agreeing with the sentence but what was the offence he was convicted of, as will have an impact on sentencing? I’m guessing they couldn’t stick a charge of attempt murder (have to prove intention to kill) so maybe it was S20 GBH carries maximum of 5 years, or s18 GBH with intent which carries life (in theory). Still absolutely shocking!!! What has happened to our country!

Not sure what he was charged with. He comitted a crime and got punished. In fact he even called the police when he did it and also confessed to his nephew who was a copper, so I expect the judge had some leniency.

The question is should she have received some punishment?

Does she deserve punishment through the legal system?

what a ridiculous question !

everyone is entitled to have sex with whoever they choose to… if someone doesn’t like it, it’s their problem and nobody elses.

Kev

The fact that you are asking the question beggars belief IMO, it’s a personal matter.

Although in Scots Law provocation is/was a defence to assualt – but the only provocation being that you have just been told that your spouse is/has been unfaithful (IIRC caveat).

Does she deserve punishment through the legal system?

of course not, adultery is not a crime.

OK, let me rephrase the question then. Should adultery be a crime? I think I know the answer judging by the response so far, but it beggars belief to me that she (the wife) can enter into the marriage polygamously from day one and “get away with it”. Makes a mockery of the marriage, don’t you think?

Yes it does make a mockery of the marriage, but I don’t think it should be a crime.

I’ve no sympathy for it being a crime. It isn’t the state’s business.

I think though that there are circumstances when that sort of treachery might sensibly be reflected in a divorce settlement. I think I’m right in saying (please someone correct me if not) that, if he had divorced her when he found out instead of pushing her down the stairs, the settlement would have been the same as it would have been if she had divorced him for snoring and chewing with his mouth open.

sounds to me like she’s made a mockery of herself. People lie because they are scared of the truth.

Kev

Well I see where you are coming from but no, not really.

Isn’t there a ‘crime of passion’ defence in French law?

I thought Adultery is a crime – it’s just not persued as being worthwhile by the CPS. Not bothered either way though.

Should it be a crime – I don’t see why not. It’s fraudulent behaviour. In this example, they had no intention of honouring the contract of marriage they entered into – assuming it was to be monogomous.

Here’s a piggy back question. In this case, should the cheating partner be entitled to an equitable divorce?

Adultery has been and is now a crime in many societies; somehow it’s always the women that get punished, not the men. As an example, see the recentish stonings of women accused in Pakistan or Iran.

But one you say that adultery is a crime- should the many people who have drunken one-night stands also be punished? Should those who stray but are in non-married relationships? What about the quick BJ ?

*************

And no, I don’t think it made a mockery of the marriage, otherwise it wouldn’t have lasted.

I thought the punishment was 2 mothers-in-law.

Oh, no – thats bigamy.

stilltortoise are you in the Taleban by any chance?

Moses,

It only lasted because one of the parties didn’t know the other was cheating. Unless you’re saying that they were both aware of the affair during the whole term of the marriage?

I thought this thread was going to be about buying a new hard-tail and making a full-sus jealous. Yes, I am dissapointed.

Moses – I am not the quick BJ.

lets be honest who would not be angry to find out that 30 years of married life had all been a lie and your two best friends were behind it?
Sure the wife has the choice about who she has sex with but the husband has the right to decide if he would like to accept her choices and stay with her. Lets not forget that forsaking all others are a part of the weedding vows and at no point did she do this.
Not sure it should be a crime to commit adultery (breach of contract?) but he has my deepest sympathy and I would be very unimpressed to find out.

I’m a strongly against people wandering in a marriage however to make it a crime? I don’t think so, think about it realistically I know loads and loads of people who have an extra marital affairs, whether they were caught is a different matter. I can honestly hold up head up and say I’ve never been unfaithful (and I’m not even married).
But to make it a crime, I know it’s extremely painful, humilitating etc etc but to push her down the stairs! I mean come on a bit excessive!!! IMO.

She shouldn’t be punished but she should be thoroughly ashamed of herself for behaving in such a manner for such a long time.

But given she was able to deceive someone she professed to love for so long, I doubt she will feel any real remorse.

I cannot abide any form of deceit in marriage, even one night stands, so for someone to do this is thoroughly shameful.

And no, I don’t think it made a mockery of the marriage, otherwise it wouldn’t have lasted.

Yeah, but you’re only saying that because apparently if you’re called Moses you can have 2 wives.

He shouldn’t have assaulted her – he got his punishment.
She got stabbed and pushed down the stairs – she got more than enough “punishment” already don’t you think?

Adultery is a breach in the marriage contract and is not a crime, it’s more like breach of a commercial contract. It sounds like she’s been in breach multiple times for 30 years. What compensation will he receive for that? None, I expect he’d have done very badly out of the divorce even without his assault.

But there may have been other circumstances – he may have been an awful husband i.e. performed poorly but still within the terms of the marriage contract. Laywers will have to work it out.

And no, I don’t think it made a mockery of the marriage, otherwise it wouldn’t have lasted.

Surely it lasted because she was a lying, cheating, deceitful cow and he didn’t know 😕

I find it even more odd that people try to justify their cheating with “I was drunk” 😆

One could propose, assuming she was a house-wife with no job living off his earnings, that she was obtaining money by deceipt. Which is a crime. But equally he could have been a house-husband and lived off her earnings. In which case would it still be a crime?!

She got stabbed and pushed down the stairs – she got more than enough “punishment” already don’t you think?

I see the potential for quite an inflammatory post coming up… 😉

Mitigating circumstances. Same if it was vice versa as well. I think its provocation at the very least and he (or she in a parallel) should have a suspended sentance with an order to undergo observation/physciatric treatment to assess the impact and if they pose a threat in the future.

Its bad enough for the fathers of children when they found out years down the line that the kid isnt theres as well.

TBF, if he had been cheating on her for 30 years and she had then found out, ‘the law’ would have allowed her to take him to the cleaners and take all his money. Is that not ‘punishment’ for adultery ? ……… ok no, I suppose not 😕

Personally, I think she got away with it lightly – getting thrown down the stairs and stabbed. Sane, calm, and reasonable, that I might be (if the drugs are working correctly) I reckon all that would have gone out of the window when I found out. 30 **** years ? With the BEST MAN ? I would have gone off my **** trolley. I would have probably also murdered a few some random strangers …..

ernie_lynch, Im scarily in agreement on a few things.

I think I’d ask to see vids/get turned on by what they got upto…

Anyway back in the real world. If it happened to me? Jeesus, I dont know, I think a mind snapping would occur and yes homicidal thoughts wouldnt be far off. TBH- His bestman would be the first target. I could **** someone elses missus if I didnt know him- if I know someone, no way.

It has just dawned on me that this site is becoming like an online version of the Jeremy Kyle show! 😆

Calm down ernie!!! 😆

EDIT: Deleted – boring pointless post….

Hora, you are a true legend of our times. 🙂