Hi all – Baby is now imminent, so thought I might consult the hive mind on stuff we need but don’t have yet. We are trying to minimise the ‘stuff’ as we’re trying to move house at the moment (ideally this would have been finished before baby has arrived, but looks like it’ll be a month after arrival now).

At the moment we have:
– A packet of nappies
– Two prams
– A car seat and associated seat base etc
– Lots of baby grows / clothes
– A rocker seat thing for it to sit in
– A baby sleeping bag thing (not sure of the correct name!)
– A co-sleeping pod thing (sort of a crib that opens one side that sits next to the bed)
– A breast pump (with Bluetooth!)
– A packet of baby wipes
– A bag packed for the hospital
– Some little hats of various sizes that my wife has knitted (may or may not fit!)
– Some ‘Swaddles’ (things for wrapping the baby up tight)
– Sling / harness thing that allows you to carry the baby hands free
– A sense of foreboding and adventure to come

Questions in my mind about what else we need:
– Do babies need some kind of foot covering? Or are the baby grows sufficient?
– I’m guessing I need a baby bath? Or is just basically a bowl?
– How many additional nappies do I need to get in?
– Talcum powder – is that actually a thing, or just movies?
– Sudo cream?
– Some kind of bottle system? We’re planning on breast feeding, but presumably we need to transfer from the breast pump to a bottle to feed it
– Some kind of sterilisation system? What kind is best?
– A groegg to monitor the temperature?
– A thermometer for general ‘is the baby ill’ / ‘is this bath to cold’ purposes?
– What do you dry a baby with? Standard towels?
– Special bin for nappies? Or just bung them in the normal bin?
– Formula as a backup? What sort is good?

Obviously having typed this out, I now feel woefully unprepared – I kind of expected NCT to go over the basics of how to keep it alive, but it offered minimal practical information on the nuts and bolts.

Is there a good ‘this is how you do all the normal practical stuff with a baby’ type book (sort of like a Haines manual for babies) that I could get? Any suggestions? I’m terrified of doing the nappy wrong, or wiping it’s bum the wrong direction etc).

Any advice appreciated.

PS. Too late to suggest I should have thought of this before I decided to breed. Got to deal with the situation as it is!

A packet of baby wipes

One? Go and buy lots more now at the best multibuy/bogoff you can find.   You’ll never have too many.

Congrats and good luck!

Where are your muslins?! You should have no less than 500 ready to deploy at a moments notice

What is a muslin? Oh god.

As Kryton57 says – one pack will last you a couple of days.
Head to Aldi and stock up on wipes and nappies now. Worth getting a couple of weeks worth (probably average 7-10 nappies per day at the start). Then it’s one less thing to have to think about in the initial chaos and worry that is new parenthood.

Oh, and congratulations in advance!

EDIT: I can still remember my Grandma, when she found out we were expecting, bought a pack of nappies everytime she cycled in to town or the shops. That saw us through the first few months and is something we’ll never forget.

Ok – 7-10 a day. I think the current pack has 12 lol!

Are aldi nappies good? I guess by good i mean ‘don’t leak’ and easy to put on.

Are wipes just wipes, or is there a good type and a bad type?

Incidentally, what are the wipes actually for? Wiping poo off? Or do you use bog roll for that (or your hands?!)?

Do babies need some kind of foot covering? Or are the baby grows sufficient? not needed
– I’m guessing I need a baby bath? Or is just basically a bowl? – baby bath is good, but not essential for day 1. We had a anglecare one which is cheap and sits in your normal bath.
– How many additional nappies do I need to get in? loads, but not too small – I would get 1 pack of each size for now (up to 2) then see which fits and get a tonne of that in
– Talcum powder – is that actually a thing, or just movies? we never used it
– Sudo cream? handy
– Some kind of bottle system? We’re planning on breast feeding, but presumably we need to transfer from the breast pump to a bottle to feed it. If you can breast feed (its tough), then bottles aren’t needed at all – neither is a breast pump, the kid drinks direct. its a good idea to get them used to a bottle as an alternate, so your wife can go out or whatever. We got a massive thing of tommee tippee bottles + lids, it wasn’t very expensive.
– Some kind of sterilisation system? What kind is best? Sterilisers seem to be a bit pointless\optional, the french (for example) don’t use them at all unless the kid is severely premature. we had a steam based one
– A groegg to monitor the temperature? it will be too hot, or too cold, all the time, according to a gro egg. we had one with the first, didn’t bother with the second. your baby monitor probably has a temp thing built in, just use that
– A thermometer for general ‘is the baby ill’ / ‘is this bath to cold’ purposes? handy and will last for ages, we got a bosch in ear job
– What do you dry a baby with? Standard towels? a baby towel with a little hood, as its cute, but a normal towel woudl do the job just as well
– Special bin for nappies? Or just bung them in the normal bin? we got a dedicated bin, but its just a normal, smallish one. When a poo has arrived it goes in its own bag then straight out the window (rear of the house) to be scooped up into the wheelie bin when things have calmed down
– Formula as a backup? What sort is good? pre-mixed if its just a couple for backup, but tbh if you have a pump I don’t see why you would need it

nappy brands, some work well for some people, badly for others, so get a pack or 2 from your local shops and try them out. They all work fine. Baby wipes – don’t get the absolute cheapest but otherwise they’re ok, you might want to use water wipes for the first few months but they’re pricey and a bit rubbish compared to normal wipes. Use with extra gunk when cleaning tough poos

what do we need

get as much sleep in as possible in the coming days, you will need it. Congratulations by the way!

what do we need

#PrayForEwan

Our 3 week old lad gets through about 15 nappies per day

boys piss when they have their nappy opened and shit squirts

they eat LOADS sometimes and other times nowt!

Don’t stress, if you do the baby picks up on it and then it hits the fan!

Support mum loads in the night as it is super lonely

I’ll try and remember the no nonsense advice my wife gives in response to these kind of questions…

– Do babies need some kind of foot covering? Or are the baby grows sufficient? baby grows fine in the house assuming the house isn’t cold. Wrap up warm when out and about in winter. We used the big thick winter onsies (inc. sock bit) and a buggy foot muff thing if it was really cold.
– I’m guessing I need a baby bath? Or is just basically a bowl? – It’s just a big bowl but shaped properly. They are pretty handy.
– How many additional nappies do I need to get in? – lots, and then some more.
– Talcum powder – is that actually a thing, or just movies? Just the movies, not good for respiritory – links to lung issues and now not sold in the USA I believe after some lawsuits.
– Sudo cream? Yep, very handy for sore bums. Keep it away from cats.
– Some kind of bottle system? We’re planning on breast feeding, but presumably we need to transfer from the breast pump to a bottle to feed it. We used tommee tippie without any issues. All the big brands are fine.
– Some kind of sterilisation system? What kind is best? Again, some tommee tippee thing. Looked like a plug in veg steamer. Easy to use and simple.
– A groegg to monitor the temperature? Yeah, or just any thermometer.
– A thermometer for general ‘is the baby ill’ / ‘is this bath to cold’ purposes? Use your elbow in the bath – it’s the most accessible sensitive bit of skin for dipping. Water should feel neutral – not hot or cold.
– What do you dry a baby with? Standard towels? Yep.
– Special bin for nappies? Or just bung them in the normal bin? In a nappy bag and in the bin. If there’s poo in it then in a nappy bag and on the back door step for chucking the the wheelie bin. No need for any special bin – total rip off.
– Formula as a backup? What sort is good? If you are planning to breastfeed then do not get formula in just incase. If it is there then when you are struggling one very tired night it will be too tempting. There is absolutely no shame in bottle feeding if that is what works. People are very quick to judge and have opinions but only you and your partner will know and feel what is the right thing to do. Her body, her choice.

Every man, woman and their dog will give you unwanted advice and opinions. Babies really do bring them out of the woodwork. 90% of them can piss off. Just ignore those that make you feel bad about yourself. You will know who you trust and whether the advice sounds useful or not.

Mostly though, enjoy it. Babies are very resilient. Marketing people will tell you that you need to buy everything or be the worlds worst parents. We fell for some of it with our first. Not so much with the second and by the third we knew everything we didn’t need. There will be no fourth!

Hi. Congratulations.

We went through this earlier in the year.

You seem to have the basics covered so don’t worry about having ‘stuff/things’ too much. With restrictions being a bit better you should be able to get things as you need them, or next day from Amazon Prime.

Something I immediately found and continue to find useful that I haven’t seen mentioned elsewhere is a good quality, waterproof digital meat thermometer. Something like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/NIXIUKOL-Thermometer-Digital-Cooking-Temperature/dp/B08DHVR82K/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=meat+thermometer&qid=1607520904&sr=8-5

It was really useful and reassuring for checking the temperature of reheated expressed milk/formula and is still used most days as a sanity check at bath time. Much more confidence inspiring than a colour changing rubber duck to tell me that I’m not going to scold my child.

Are aldi nappies good? I guess by good i mean ‘don’t leak’ and easy to put on.

Unfortunately this depends on the shape of the baby and can bit a little bit trial and error.

– Do babies need some kind of foot covering? Or are the baby grows sufficient?
no baby grows have feet

– I’m guessing I need a baby bath? Or is just basically a bowl?
This is good, just put it in the bath https://www.argos.co.uk/product/3153985

– How many additional nappies do I need to get in?
More than you can imagine. But some of the larger sizes too in case baby is big – you’ll use them.

– Talcum powder – is that actually a thing, or just movies?
we never used

– Sudo cream?
bepanthen

– Some kind of bottle system? We’re planning on breast feeding, but presumably we need to transfer from the breast pump to a bottle to feed it
Some are a system, e.g. tommee tippee pump and bottles. I had to do a midnight run to asda for one so a pump (or being able to borrow) is advisable.

– Some kind of sterilisation system? What kind is best?
We just use a tomee tippee steam steriliser. Milton is cheapest.

– A groegg to monitor the temperature?
useful to know the temp of the room so you can put them in appropriate bedding. Grobags are marked helpfully.

– A thermometer for general ‘is the baby ill’ / ‘is this bath to cold’ purposes?
yes absolutely. every household should have one.

– What do you dry a baby with? Standard towels?
baby towels are just smaller towels

– Special bin for nappies? Or just bung them in the normal bin?
nappy bags for dirty ones and in the normal bin, wet just go in

– Formula as a backup? What sort is good?
midwife told us not to as the temptation is great and its available in every corner shop anyway. Powdered is a faff unless you have a prep machine too. Liquid obviously more expensive and goes off.

You don’t need “stuff” just love.

If you do end up with bottles a bottle warmer is useful.

Microwave steriliser was what we used, dead simple

Dummy? Controversial with the NTC nazi party members but when you are desperate to sleep it’s a great silencer..

An ability to be pragmatic? Mini FFJA and mum both found breastfeeding impossible. Pressure from health visitors didn’t help. Don’t be afraid to swap to formula if it doesn’t work for you guys. I wish we had much sooner, it was a huge stressor.

Good luck! They’re quite hard to break, you’ll be fine! It’s a brilliant feeling.

Congratulations.

Here is some extremely practical baby advice.

Stuff isn’t that important. As long as you have the basics you’ll figure out very quickly what’s the important stuff and what isn’t.

Other peoples well meaning advice isn’t that important. Listen to it all but be prepared to ignore anything that doesn’t work for you. There is no right or wrong.

Other peoples practical assistance is important. If anyone volunteers to “help out” let them. Send them to the shop for more nappies and baby wipes. Make them do the hoovering. Whatever.

Buy more baby wipes and nappies. Bulk buy.

Look after yourselves as well. It’s easy to neglect your own well being in favour of a baby. Don’t.

STAY UP THE DRY END. I cannnot stress this one highly enough.

Don’t worry. People have been having babies for ever. They were fine and you will be too.

I can calm a crying baby in seconds. It’s like a superpower. Hold the baby against your chest and do a little swaying dad dance while humming a tune in as deep a pitch as possible. I use the Pink Panther theme but pick one that you enjoy… You’ll be humming it for four hours straight every night for the next eighteen months.

What is a muslin? Oh god.

Known as a Sick Cloth in our house. Get loads, babies produce all sorts of substances you’ll want to wipe off your clothes, your face, the sofa etc pretty quick. Deal with a few messes then fire it in the wash.

If it’s not been mentioned, Ewan The Dream Sheep! And second plenty of muslims. John Lewis is nice for neutral clothes and we found their stuff lasted well through all the washes.

Other than that, don’t really have anything to add to above. You’re a prime target for retailers, both online and off. No doubt you’ll end up buying something that you’ll wonder why on earth you did in a year’s time. Don’t worry, most of us do it once or twice.

Questions in my mind about what else we need:
– Do babies need some kind of foot covering? Or are the baby grows sufficient?
– I’m guessing I need a baby bath? Or is just basically a bowl?
– How many additional nappies do I need to get in?
– – is that actually a thing, or just movies?
– Sudo cream?
– Some kind of bottle system? We’re planning on breast feeding, but presumably we need to transfer from the breast pump to a bottle to feed it
– Some kind of sterilisation system? What kind is best?
– A groegg to monitor the temperature?
– A thermometer for general ‘is the baby ill’ / ‘is this bath to cold’ purposes?
– – Special bin for nappies? Or just bung them in the normal bin?
– Formula as a backup? What sort is good?

Yeah, get some little booties, it’s cold out. Babies, especially newborns need warmth, even in summer.

Yeah get a baby bath, bathing newborns is hard work and terrifying, just plonking them in the kitchen sink won’t cut it.

Additional nappies? All of them. Keep no less than a few days worth about. Local shops will carry 2 maybe 3 sizes, there’s about a dozen and you WILL have a favourite. Running out to most Dads is a hassle, we’ll make do with one 3 sizes too big or even an old tea towel in a pinch, to Mums though it’s enough to cause a full-scale meltdown, avoid that shit.

Talcum powder, not in 2020, I’m sure some do, there’s an unproved, but credible link to cancer and in any case if inhaled it can cause lung issues. It’s also not very good for the skin (source, my wife who is a wound healing specialist nurse and skin expert.)

Sudocream yeah, plenty of. Don’t piss about with the little pots, that’s for teenagers with zits, get the baller, fist sized pot.

Some kind of bottle system, yep, I found the symbol ones you stick in the microwave work best.

Some kind of sterilisation system, see above.

A Groegg to monitor the temperature? Sounds like something to worry about to me, but if it makes you feel better.

A thermometer for general ‘is the baby ill’ / ‘is this bath to cold’ purposes? Yes, learn was normal baby temps should be and memorise that shit. It’s a good sanity check for when you’re being paranoid, and a good check for when you need to act. Stick your GP’s number in your phone because WHEN they get a little temp, you’ll shit yourself. Our GP has always been outstanding with ours, certainly when they’re under 1, I’ve had to call them 3 times and the only answer I’ve ever heard from them on the phone is “Don’t worry, come down and we’ll be waiting for you”.

Baby Towels, yeah, they’re no different to adult towels, but they come with cute animals and usually folds you can place their heads in and wrap them up etc.

Special bin for nappies? Or just bung them in the normal bin? – speak to your council, most will give you a special coloured bag for them. It will amaze you how quickly it will fill.

Formula as a backup? What sort is good? **** right, Breast feeding is hard and sometimes just doesn’t work, at worst you’ll want a back-up for when it’s 3am the Baby is screaming, Mum is in floods of tears of frustration and guilt because they won’t latch or whatever or it’s just too painful and it’s time for you, the least haggered of the 3 of you to make a decision. Familiarise yourself with the instructions now, not when you’re day 36 into sleep deprivation. Honestly it’s the worst, you just can’t think sometimes.

– Thermometer
I never found one that wasn’t just a random number generator.

– Sterliser
Can’t see any need for anything other than the microwave job

– Special bin
God no

– Dummies
Not on your list – well done, totally correct

STAY UP THE DRY END. I cannnot stress this one highly enough.

Or don’t be pathetic and actual support your wife. Your average man isn’t really this pathetic is he?

Or don’t be pathetic and actual support your wife. Your average man isn’t really this pathetic is he?

You can provide much better support from the dry end. That’s the end that needs your help.

I know this because i’ve been down the wet end. Repeatedly, including one emergency caesarian

Yeah you’ll basically get really good at arranging stuff so you can do things one handed but only practice will get you there.

Babies are proper ace and super resilient but you’ll only realise this by #3 where you wonder what all the fuss was about. So enjoy the journey! Congrats dude.

It’s good that you plan on keeping this minimal as a super maternal mum not only can want all sorts of material things (expensive prams, tons of car accessories, outfits for all scenarios) but also occupies the moral high ground.

You can’t have too many wipes but nappies will be grown out of so bear that in mind. A couple of big packets (36 / 72??) will get you going though and they’re not that expensive and can be donated elsewhere if you do grow out of them.

And in my experience I only ever got shat/pissed on a couple of times during changes – again prep and coordination is everything.

I wouldn’t bother with that Argos bath thingie up there as it involves filling entire the bath. Get something like this https://www.argos.co.uk/product/4125840, that placed within the bath will take about 15 seconds to fill from a high volume tap and can also be used to ball up sheets covered in piss, shit and puke to cart from being rinsed out in the bath / shower to the washing machine.

Oh and don’t buy any actual clothes – you’ll get loads as presents and invariably wear none. Just baby grows (get a non-white one for ‘going out’) and when things settle you can think about getting properly dressed.

Dummy? Controversial with the NTC nazi party members but when you are desperate to sleep it’s a great silencer..

An ability to be pragmatic? Mini FFJA and mum both found breastfeeding impossible. Pressure from health visitors didn’t help. Don’t be afraid to swap to formula if it doesn’t work for you guys. I wish we had much sooner, it was a huge stressor.

Yep.

I wish I gave my Daughter a dummy, you can take those away, she found her thumb instead and still sleeps sicking it at 6, with her buck-teeth. I’ll be a couple of grand out of pocket and will suffer a lot of teenage tantrums and tears for braces in a few years.

As for the ‘Breast is best’ Nazi Health Workers, this is one of the few times Dad can step-up. My Wife, who is a massively strong Women, and a pretty high-ranking Nurse felt pretty intimidated by being pushed to Brest feed by them, I had to act as her advocate.

All the basics covered there…

We got through tonnes of cotton wool and warm water instead of wipes for bum wiping etc, but wipes would be fine too…

Nappies, nappies and more nappies, and those scented bags to jam as many into as possible…. just don’t breathe in when you tie the bag up…

Nipple cream for the wife if she’s breast feeding…

If you have a boy, i recommend making a miniature paper hat type thing out of jay cloths to cover their willy when you change their nappy… Our one would pi$$ for england when he was having his nappy changed, and if you aren’t careful it’ll be up your t shirt and in your eye before you know…

Bank as much sleep as possible, you’ll most likely need it.

Recharge your sense of humour, cos lots of things will come to test you in the next few months…

Remember to enjoy it, especially the cute little squidgy cuddles…

I’ll be a couple of grand out of pocket and will suffer a lot of teenage tantrums and tears for braces in a few years.

You might be surprised. Teenagers these days practically demand as much orthodontic treatment as they can get.

Braces are cool now.

We have a 1 year old here, and I was clueless pre-arrival. Key things I found, in no particular order:
– a steriliser is a good thing to have if you’re using bottles. We were using 6 bottles a day, so a good Philips steriliser (and set of bottles) has been well worth it.
– dummies are good. We’ve limited ours to just bedtime, so the sprog isn’t using them during the day. Also we have a couple of teddy rags – small soft cloth things with a small teddy at one end – which have proven very handy.
– We got a good pushchair/ carseat/ travel cot system; in our case Uppababy. The carseat fitted onto the buggy for the pushchair, the travel cot attachment was absolutely priceless and became our default daytime sleeping/ cosleeping/ etc sleep setting.
– a bouncy chair thing, I think ours was baby bjorn? Just a little tiny thing that holds the sprog and slowly bounces backwards and forwards. It did amazingly at soothing the sprog, and it’d sleep in there too.
– finally, the Contented Baby by Gina Ford, and a firm belief in schedules. We bottle fed with breast milk, which meant that we knew precisely how much the sprog was consuming and when. From there we were able to build a schedule and stick to it, and, after 6 months, arrive at sleeping 10pm to 7am, which was an absolute lifesaver.

That’s probably the single most important lessson for me. Whether you want to feed breast milk or formula is entirely up to you, but knowing how much the baby has consumed is absolutely vital to build any kind of confidence that your child isn’t starving, that you can let them sleep another hour, etc.

As for the ‘Breast is best’ Nazi Health Workers, this is one of the few times Dad can step-up. My Wife, who is a massively strong Women, and a pretty high-ranking Nurse felt pretty intimidated by being pushed to Brest feed by them, I had to act as her advocate.

We got this a lot and it’s absolutely horrendous. You have mothers at their lowest ebb, knackered and struggling, who feel that they *should* be better, should have an amazingly quiet baby, otherwise they’re failing and killing their baby. And you have this entire system of people – some qualified healthcare workers others not – catching them at their lowest and forcing yet more pressure on them.

Ultimately, the decision is yours as parents. It’s not set in stone, you can change your mind; but when people come to tell you you “should” be doing something else, you have to own your decision and politely tell them to shove it.

The wife had some really difficult times, and I think much of it boiled down to this sense of “I should be…” – the “should” part became her worst consideration I think, and we gradually moved away from that, towards realising that nobody else has a single clue either about how to raise our child.

Couple of suggestions –
Cotton wool balls for wiping eyes and face.
Gloves? Newborns can scratch their faces
Non-bio washing powder for clothes, the bio stuff can irritate their skin.
Little nappy change tip, lift it up at the front then hold it ready to catch any wee that seems to be initiated by the cold air.

– Formula as a backup? What sort is good? pre-mixed if its just a couple for backup, but tbh if you have a pump I don’t see why you would need it

Breast by day and formula by night. Four bottles to be sterilisied in a microwave. Set up a bottle before bed and set the timer.

as been mentioned above, if breast feeding doesn’t work out, fair enough. Mrs Yeti took our first to some form of coffee morning who were all advocating breast is best, and it destroyed her confidence as it just wasn’t working for her. Do whatever works for you. this goes for lots of things, where the baby sleeps, what it eats, what nappies to use, going back to work etc etc.

Breast by day and formula by night.

Not always that simple though, the best boob milk is supposedly produced at night and it may also result in night time pumping – which is even more lonely than nighttime feeding

Has anyone mentioned PND yet? Depression is a huge problem and can take months to fully rear it’s ugly head. This is an area you really want to keep an eye on as post natal depression isn’t good for anyone

Facebook marketplace is full of used baby stuff in good nick so if you’re not sure you’ll need something you can pick it up cheaply off there and bang it back on there when you’re done. There’s not much sense buying new when a lot of 2nd hand stuff is only used short term, if at all.

night time pumping

I think that’s how he got into this trouble

And second plenty of muslims

I was waiting for the spellcheck….and it came

The number of times we were out, and one of the kids would ask for a muslim…

– What do you dry a baby with? Standard towels?

We experimented with air drying but, turns out, holding your sprog out of a car doing 70mph is an arrestable offence.

I think that’s how he got into this trouble

Shoulda stuck to the lonely version.

– A breast pump (with Bluetooth!)

That’ll need pairing. 😀
RM.

That’ll need pairing

Bra-vo.