The “Lost in Space” thread got me thinking about remakes, reboots and the many terrible examples there have been over the years. Then I googled upcoming remakes and it appears there are literally hundreds in development at any time and the casting seems utterly random.

So STW, let’s hear your movie remake ideas – take any classic film (even if it’s already been remade) and re-cast and (if you want) re-imagine it for today’s Omniplex audiences. Post names and pics of the main cast, add a director if you want, and extra forum points if you manage to sneak in a remake that’s actually in production without anyone noticing.

Example

Trainspotting

Baltimore, present day. We follow the misadventures of a group of misfit crack addicts led by Mark Renton

Chris Pine

Sick Boy

Jared Leto

Spud

Micheal Pena

and Begbie

played by Walton Goggins. Directed by James Franco, scored by 30 seconds to Mars.

The Ipcress Files with Jason Statham playing the Michael Caine character 🙂

Rain Man with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as Ray Babbitt

Empire Strikes Back, but with, say, a young English actress in the part of Luke Skywalker, and Mark Hamill in the character of Yoda 😉

Batman with Ben Aff… oh no they already did that one.

And

“Jurassic World”

The Ipcress Files with Jason Statham playing the Michael Caine character

This sounds better than The Italian Job with Marky Mark playing the Michael Caine character. Not that I could bring myself to watch that, it might have been amazing for all I know.

Awakenings with

Seth Rogan in the Robin Williams Doctor part

and Nic Cage replacing de Niro

it might have been amazing for all I know.

Might have been.

Wasn’t.

The Homebase Chainsaw Massacre.

Excellent PP! I love the idea of the maniac chasing the victim with an electric chainsaw until the plug comes out of the wall.

The Matrix, with Plank O’Wood playing Neo.

perchypanther

The Homebase Chainsaw Massacre.

The movie title pun thread is somewhere over there >>>. Let’s try again.

Rambo: First Blood.

US Navy Seal John Rambo returns from Afghanistan and gets embroiled in a feud with a small town Sheriff who doesn’t take kindly to drifters.

John Rambo

Sheriff Will Teasle

Col. Sam Trautman

Groundhog Day 2

Ice Cold In Alex:

John Mills replaced by Nick Cage.

Harry Andrews by Danny Glover.

Meryl Streep and Eddie Murphy in drag as the nurses.

Antony Quayle replaced by Hugh Laurie playing a Russian pretending to be English.

A Hummvee.

Budweiser.

The Dambusters, directed by Tarantino with Samuel L Jackson in the Guy Gibson role.

Due a remake, and as it’s now the way in Hollywood to use British Actors playing American parts –

The Shining

Tom Hardy as Jack Torrance

Keira Knightly as Wendy

Tinchy Strider as Halloran

Auditions for the part of Danny being held in Manchester as we speak.

Non-Binary Alfie, starring Lena Dunham in the title role.

A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven

Musicals are hip and happening again now, so how about a re-make of My Fair Lady?

But let’s get socially progressive and gender-switch the lead roles.

So Keira Knigtley as posh professor Henrietta Higgins and Danny Dyer as cheeky cockernee chappy Eddie Doolittle, but instead of selling flowers he works in a Nandos.

Get Carter.

Sylvester Stallone is Jack Carter, a villain tied to the mob who returns home to attend his brothers funeral…

A mediocre movie, one that relies on a formulaic storyline, and poor performances from those involved

North by Northwest starring Jack Black

Groundhog Day 3

New Rambo but this time the leading character is a teenaged girl who loves anime. And big knives.

Where Eagles Dare dumbed down for a new generation so they can adequately explain WTF happens in the dining hall by the big fire place.

Night Manager geezer as Major Smith

Dwayne The Rock as Schaffer

Keep Anton Diffring as Colonel Kramer in a Peter Cushing CGI styleee and of course the Schmeissers and never-ending dynamite. So really just looking for an explanation..

Lawrence of Arabia – Ice Cube to play the Peter O’Toole role.

Groundhog Day 3

Who dares wins with paddy mcguiness in the Lewis Collins role.

Casino.

Donald Trump replaces Robert De Niro as casino front man for the mob, drawing on his extensive real life experience. Of running a casino.

Michael Coen replaces Joe Pesci as the mob enforcer but in a plot update co-operates with the Feds rather than ending up in a shallow grave.

arrpee

A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven

Would watch.

Non-Binary Alfie, starring Lena Dunham in the title role.

*likes*

How about a reboot of classic screwball comedy His Girl Friday, with Emma Watson and Channing Tatum?

Except print is dead, so all the action takes place over Twitter.

Titanic but with Radar.

I’d quite like to see how Jack gets on.

Jaws

Chief Brody

Hooper

Quint

Police Chief Martin Brody thought he would get a nice quite life policing a small tourist island community. That was until tourists started washing up dead on his beach. Against the wishes of the mayor (cameo by Kevin Spacey) he goes on a hunt to find the aquatic killer aided by Oceonographer Hooper and grizzled shark fisherman Quint. In the final act we discover the marine monster is in fact a giant mass of waste plastic in a laboured metaphor for pollution / global warming.  Nicholas Winding Refn directs.

arrpee

A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven

Would watch.

You might re-consider that when I reveal that Michael Douglas’s V-neck will also reprise its original role in the club scene.

Titanic.
Remade by Luc Besson.

Set in space, the maiden voyage of the SS Titanic. It crashes into a meteor.

Jack played by Andy Serkis is some sort of Alien creature & Rose played my Mila Kunis

A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven

A remake of Basic Instinct, with the original cast playing each others’ roles.

Groundhog Day 4

A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven

A remake of Basic Instinct, with the original cast playing each others’ roles.

Michael Douglas would be glorious in the police interview scene. Imagine how his pendulous old-man balls would underline his contempt for the interviewers as he crosses and uncrosses his legs.

Under siege staring Connor Mcregor aboard a cross channel ferry day trip .

He could be running a coffee shop/hot dog stand & has to take down religious fanatic football hooligans.

Ant Man.

Declan Donnelly stands by the side of the road and watches his career crash through no fault of his own. He is only able to utter two words of disgust.

A belated sequel to the 90’s classic Jeff Man