For pathetic aggression, try a randy grouse. There is one specimen on my local loop who doesn’t take well to me entering his ‘territory’, and runs alongside the bike trying to peck my shoes for a hundred yards or so. Every time.

Ever tried to kick a pigeon?  Even if you target one with one eye and a limp you still can’t do it.

Ever tried to kick a pigeon?  Even if you target one with one eye and a limp you still can’t do it.

I’ve not, no. However I shall try this evening should I meet one. ****.

Anyone who thinks Gulls are stupid has obviously never been to St Ives.

Tourists with chips and ice creams and pasties are constantly outwitted by them.

That’s just a measure of relative intelligence rather than absolute stupidity.

Well the pigeon on the way home on Friday also didn’t out smart the car. No damage this time though!

I swear Pigeons & Seagulls enjoy playing chicken, I always end up braking at the last minute and every time I say “next time I’m not going to and it’s your own stupid fault if you don’t fly off in time” but I always end up braking – I guess it means they’re probably more intelligent than me, or at least better at playing chicken.

I swear Pigeons & Seagulls enjoy playing chicken

I believe the term is genus-fluid

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4f6GEmgjO0o

Daniel Kitson on pigeons…

Petty revenge is the best revenge!

what’s worse than pigeons is the c**** who feed them bread at my local green where there are signs saying don’t feed them.

they should start offering money for their carcasses.

my mate once had one go through his bike wheel – thing exploded, taking a few spokes with it.

I often wonder what the better sport would be.. pigeon tennis or pigeon golf.

Definitely tennis as they’d survive a couple of whacks.

Their reactions are many times faster than ours, what looks close to us isn’t to them. Just carry on as normal you (probably) won’t hit them.

That was literally not the case this morning. Van -1, Pigeon – 0

RIP dumbass pigeon idiot.

I ripped a pheasant in half a few years back.
A303
70mph
Car in lane 1 missed it – I didn’t.
Well I thought I had.
Bastard took the roof bar off the car as he landed in two parts.

I’ll just leave this here:

Working on a silo top conveyor system in a veg. oil factory a few years ago, one of the inspection hatches was open. Pigeon puts his head in to look for grain, (place was infested with the dirty bastards) and instantly get chopped in the head by the chain and drawn in. Another one nearby noticed his mate disappear, wandered over and looked in the same hole to see where his mate went*. Chomp! Same outcome.

(*Answer is actually in the grain silo, then through the presses and processed into bottles. 🤮

I swear Pigeons & Seagulls enjoy playing chicken

I believe the term is genus-fluid

Gander-fluid?

Oh ..Im totally with Essel on this one …the Pheasant is truly the dumbest bird in the world !

Not until all the peacocks die. Pheasant s are bloody genius in comparison.

I’ve hit a couple of pigeons. Hit one straight on in the windscreen at 70. I didn’t half duck (aha) but no damage other that loads of feathers.

Next time I’d collected one in the lower air vent at the bottom of the bumper. Took some fishing out.

On the motorway recently, just saw a bird drop straight out of the sky on the opposite carriageway. Second or two later, loads of feathers in the air, then a car in hard shoulder. Smashed windscreen and a dent at the roof edge. God knows what that was. Big bird ?

Driving through Southend in my Beetle in 91/92, about 30mph. A pigeon flapped down towards the road directly in front of the car. I still swear that his head turned, saw my apple-green VW bearing down on him and I saw the panic in his beady little eyes as he tried to put his wings in reverse. Sadly, it didn’t work and he bounced off my bonnet in a massive cloud of dust, feathers and (probably) parasites. I never saw the remains of the bird. He was probably launched, naked, defeathered, into some unsuspecting XR2i convertible (Essex remember!) ten cars behind.

Hit a wood pigeon with my old Cooper S (there is a point to being specific about the car).
The fat bastard managed to disappear into the supercharger air intake – or more specifically about 2/3 of it did. The remaining 1/3 self destructed across the bonnet and windscreen.
The 2/3rds that found their way into the engine bay basically just coated everything in blood/feathers/green stuff from a full crop.
It took hours to clean up that particular mess… 🙂

This all sounds like victim blaming to me. The amount of carnage at roadsides is tragic.

Pigeons might be stupid but I’ve seen them use the London tube pretty competently 😁

I’ll add Partridges to the thick-as-pig-shit-if-not-thicker ensemble 😁

This all sounds like victim blaming to me.

Maybe they could write to their MP, or start an online petition to complain…

Please excuse the source.

Here in Aus it is kangaroos, they see a car and jump from teh verge onto the tarmac and skid sideways. Alway told never to swerve to avoid one at speed, you’ve a good chance of putting the car off the road and into a tree on country roads.Panel damage to the car is significantly better than the risk of serious injury or death.

Pheasants need to eat grit (grits) to help grind their food, thats why so many loiter on the edge of the road. Got lucky last weekend, was travelling with an empty horsebox and came round a bend to see two on the verge. There was no one behind me so I braked firmly and the box followed me down the road with a cloud of blue smoke and two long skid marks…whilst one pheasant ran straight in front of me (just missed it!)

On the way back the skid marks demonstrated how a locked trailer will drift significantly from the direction of the tow vehicle 🙂

Imagine the nightmare of living here…..

I live in Australia. Driving along, 500kms north of Perth, car on cruise and I see an emu cross the road a few hundred metres ahead of me. Cruise off, start covering the brake pedal in case it stops or it’s just the first one out in a bunch. 100m or so away,it stops and turns back. I slam the brakes, watching the car behind me NOT brake and the bird in front getting closer. Down to about 30 kph I pull off to the side of the road and slide through the gravel, stopping about two metres from the emu. Car behind, seemingly oblivious to me stopping hits the emu at 100kph, right in front of me. I have never seen so
many feathers as the bird literally exploded! Bloke in the third car stops, gets out and pulls the very dead emu off the road by its neck. #straya.

Many years ago I was on my way up to the drag race venue near Stratford-upon-Avon, I think it’s called Avon Park now, with a friend, we were driving along a country road with hedges either side, and a pheasant shot out of the hedge on my near side. At 50mph there was no way I could react in time and it hit the front of my car, a ‘54 split-screen Morris Minor, with one hell of a bang. There were feathers everywhere, it looked like a feather pillow had exploded! We spent the best part of twenty minutes scouring the hedges and the fields either side of the road, and under the car, and never found anything of the bird but it’s feathers. I wonder to this day just what the hell happened to it.