Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 71 total)
  • Phrases you don't want to hear
  • cranberry
    Free Member

    “Oh, 12 tons of gravel don’t go very far do they, I think we’ll need to order some more.”

    We haven’t yet spread the first shovel load.

    stewartc
    Free Member

    “You know how you said you always wanted to lose weight”

    sandwicheater
    Full Member

    ‘I’ve bummed your dog’

    ‘We’ve run out of cheese’

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

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    hammyuk
    Free Member

    “I’ll just slip this in for a moment….”

    onandon
    Free Member

    You passed out, I didn’t think you’d mind!

    Rubber_Buccaneer
    Full Member

    I thought it was a fart

    ton
    Full Member

    sorry mate, we only sell smoothflow.

    edlong
    Free Member

    sorry mate, we only sell smoothflow.

    We really need a “Like” button.

    rocketman
    Free Member

    I think it’s broken

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    “Just pull your knees up to your chest and try to relax”

    woody2000
    Full Member

    “I think I might be pregnant again”

    gummikuh
    Full Member

    Fix bayonets?

    edlong
    Free Member

    And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

    kimbers
    Full Member

    brexit means brexit

    🙄

    oldnpastit
    Full Member

    “It’s losing coolant, but there’s no sign of a leak.”

    willard
    Full Member

    “Hmmmm. That’s interesting”

    Or, more usually in our place:

    “It never did that when we tested it”

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    The variety of
    “that’s a new one”
    “not seen that error before” (said the developer who coded the error codes)

    mrlebowski
    Free Member

    You’re going to need a bigger boat….

    tiggs121
    Free Member

    “I think I turned the cooker off?”

    philjunior
    Free Member

    “I’ve got something bad to tell you”

    (Said by the wife, often. Just **** tell me what it is. It could be anything from one of the kids breaking a **** nail to her writing the car off and hospitalising the lot of them! I can’t take the suspense!)

    SaxonRider
    Full Member

    “we don’t have enough money for…”

    Oh, and what kimbers said.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    “Hey lads, watch this!”

    Rich_s
    Full Member

    *kids disappear upstairs*

    *silence reigns*

    stevedoc
    Free Member

    “Just coming in to land king commander are we ?”

    And followed by “do you know how fast you were going ”

    and finally “well I aint paying the £100 its your car ”

    Rockape63
    Free Member

    Straw Man being strawy!

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    “It’s losing coolant, but there’s no sign of a leak.”

    OH’s car is doing this, told her to just keep topping it up and, like the oil, she forgets.

    She could get a newer car but frankly it’s her lack of mechanical sympathy that’s killing this one, so a new one is just going to go the same way!

    natrix
    Free Member

    “This won’t hurt a bit” 😯

    loddrik
    Free Member

    “Sir, we’ve had the tests back and I’m afraid that it appears you are pregnant.”

    johnx2
    Free Member

    “Are you the parent of…?”

    “We need to talk…” (Never actually heard this one. I talk a lot.)

    Cougar
    Full Member

    told her to just keep topping it up

    it’s her lack of mechanical sympathy that’s killing this one

    Not just hers by the sounds of it.

    johnx2
    Free Member

    “No, that’s the price for a half.”

    El-bent
    Free Member

    Fix bayonets?

    😆 😯

    jimdubleyou
    Full Member

    The results are positive

    or sometimes

    The results are negative

    user-removed
    Free Member

    “Why’s your toilet got blood in it?”

    BillMC
    Full Member

    Nurse: ‘You’re just going to feel a little prick’
    (said to my ex in the delivery room before a jab)

    PJM1974
    Free Member

    “In real terms…”

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    Not just hers by the sounds of it.

    I pick my battles.

    Possible expensive headache stripping down the engine on a 12yr old fiesta with 115,000miles, gets floored down the motorway at 90 from cold every morning with the heater on full in winter, engine drinks oil, dings to every panel and a broken heater fan? Nope, just keep servicing it and putting a pint of coolant in it ever few thousand miles and servicing it on the driveway.

    Mine (only 2 years younger and 90,000miles) is mechanically perfect.

    porter_jamie
    Full Member

    “Hi, Travellers have just pitched up right outside you unit”

    craigxxl
    Free Member

    when the wife says “I’ve got a great idea” it is usually followed with me having to make it a reality

    Sundayjumper
    Full Member

    “I promise I won’t come in yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu…..”

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 71 total)

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