AGH! why did I read this thread!! THE ANGRY SHARKS ARE SWIMMING IN MY HEAD!!!

yeah dude, chillax. mate you literally need to get rad on an MTB and shred.
thread closed.

Simples, innit.

Darkside – road bikes aren't evil you know

Anything said by simonfbarnes

freeride – when referring to anything a bit more tech than afan red!

oh and mtb = MounTain Bike

not anything else – it's weird but that's how it is.

I'm rocking… as in I have … fitted on my bike

(I really liked BTFU on a thread recently about helmets for toddlers)

"FAIL"

When someone says "End of thread" like what they've said sums the whole **** world up so perfectly, noone else should have any input.

I do like the [putting witty things inside the square brackets though]…it's kinda cute.

Oh, and I don't think an acronym has to be a word does it?

Following a post of someones of bike, that witty response of 'That lawn needs cutting/border needs weeding' etc.

WHY- what have you…. what a pile of horse crap!!

just typing it has made me angry and i want to go in the front room and smash my dad round the head with a set of bombers!

Bru – just sounds so very wrong to me. Bro is just as bad. Please don't. I'd be ever so grateful.
Darkside. That really gets to me.
And some more. Wee in his shoes. Own him with bombers. They're both very tedious now.
Kings of Niche. Oh dear.
I need to mention darkside again. That really bugs me.
I'm beginning to think I've spent too much time on here recently.

'Swap out'

**** off, just 'swap' or 'change' will do.

:high 5s: swap out hating buddy. American wankerisms

Trying to "source" something – you aren't you are looking or buying, its a bike not a **** nuclear missile you are building

Glad to see SO has finally died a death – that was the worst.

People who complain about 'Americanisms' in English. Clots. It's all English, or hadn't you noticed? Try reading Bill Bryson's book on English, Mother Tongue. Americans were complaining about the use of 'english terms' in their language in the eighteenth century! We've swapped idioms back-and-forth for decades, so who gives a toss. I know I don't, I use a mixture of expressions I hear/read with scant regard to the origin. Simples.
Oh, and I really don't like steed. It's not a bloody-minded quadruped weighing a quarter of a ton, it's a bloody bicycle. Got that! Thank you for your time.

TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTR – Member

Glad to see SO has finally died a death – that was the worst.

what – worse than SWMBO?

The way things are written don't piss me off, i've many other things in the real word that do that.

Getting pissed off because of things on here is pretty sad TBH, your lives must be pretty dull.

I've thought of another.
Mr (relevant avatar) or Mrs (relevant avatar). For example: Mrs Barca.
Life pretty dull? I'd happily settle for that for a few weeks with the way things are for me at the moment.
That's it. I'm finished now.

ROFL Harris – Member

Trying to "source" something – you aren't you are looking or buying, its a bike not a **** nuclear missile you are building

😆

on those parenting/childcare forums they would refer to 'mr (relevant avatar)' as 'DH' (which stands for Dear Husband) Yuck!

Also I find the bikey use of 'running' a bit far fetched, ie "I run monkeylights on all my bikes."
No, 'running' implies some sort of managment or continous adjustment of a complex machine. Like running a pub, or running a steam engine. You just bolted some handlebars on your bikes, and now just have them on your bikes.

Harumph.

lol – julian i totally agree 🙂

I hate it when someone has "done" a country because they went there once.

Hmmm – not allowed to refer to my partner as my SO or Mrs TJ. My partner is a clumsy term. What should I write?

The Americanisms really annoy me as they are often inaccurate and cheapen the language. For example "fire road" No such thing exists in the UK. Fire roads are roads built into forset to take fire fighting appliances in. We have forestry roads – to allow logging vehicles in. Not the same thing.

I am fighting a loosing battle against switchback – in English a switchback is a road that goes up and down – not a series of hairpins. A series of hairpins is now creeping into acceptance as a switchback. However see switchback road in Bearsden. Its a straight line that undulates. There are switchbacks at Glentress in the original English sense

You are not in California so don't use their terms. It makes you sound stupid and ill educated.

As for using "folk" I often do this – but for me is a practical reason – I never spell people correctly the first time

Finally – Its Fort William not Fort Bill!

In your case TJ you could just write 'tandem(insert partner's name here)' as she is the other one on the tandem.

For ages i thought that fire roads were to stop the spread of forest fires: on giving it some (well, more than a couple of seconds) thought I later realised the road would have to be about a hundred yards wide for that. 😳

Going forward, can we all agree to stop using the word "mob" as an abbreviation for mobile vulgus? It's just sloppy.

shiney bits

i hate all the roadbiking stuff
should be in the chat forum

roadie questions in a mountain bike forum when there's a perfectly good road forum link on the righthand side of every page.

People who think you're not allowed to talk about some sorts of bike on a general cycling forum.

Darkside – road bikes aren't evil you know 😈

People who think you're not allowed to talk about some sorts of bike on a general cycling forum

It's Singletrackworld.

When did you last see a road bike on your local singletrack, or in the magazine come to think of it (I don't buy the mag too often, so apologies if I'm wrong)?

You are not in California so don't use their terms. It makes you sound stupid and ill educated.

To you they may sound stupid and ill educated, to you!!! To practically everyone else you will sound like a pompous arse, that, and not down with the kids.

Get with the program grandad!

TJ – i'm with you on the fire road thing. but as for switchbacks i really haven't followd at all…

The british definition of switchback makes little sense IMO. Switchback in a mountain biking/rad californian context is where the trail switches direction back on itself. Much more useful and applicable to our sport.

'Cyclists' – especially when used in a way that infers that somebody only rides bikes. Most of us are also pedestrians and motorists, from time to time.

I've asked google images for some clarification and have come up with the following:

A 'hairpin'

A 'Switchback'

An 'Old Curmudgeon' *

* Please note that i don't know if this a picture of tandemjeremy or not, it's just how i imagine him to look.

"Road trip".

You're not Che Guevara boldly venturing up through South America on an overladen, unreliable motorbike where each day will bring implausible adventure and romance. Neither are you forging out across America on Route 66 in a clapped-out Oldsmobile with no direction or purpose other than whim and circumstance.

You are, more likely, driving a recent-model Ford Mondeo up the M6, probably guided by SatNav, to go biking at Dalbeattie and Kirroughtree while listening to tedious modern music. It's not pushing back any frontiers and the most romantic thing that is likely to happen is some awkward, lingering eye contact with some doe-brained lassie behind the counter at Forton services.

Probably.

(And "Fort Bill" – "Fort Bill road trip" would send me into paroxysms of mild annoyance)

LOL@ bukkakehairdo –

Switchbacks go up and down in english.

Switchback road Note it is a straight line – it just undulates up and down.

this is me –

People who think you're not allowed to talk about some sorts of bike on a general cycling forum.

🙄

Nico – Member

Going forward………..

I really hope that was typed as some kind of weird joke. In my (vast) experience of working with small minded fools with junior management aspirations, the ones that say 'going forwards' are right up there with the ones that can't start a single sentence without saying 'in terms of'

Yes BB, it was. The rest of the post was a summarised quote from Jonathon Swift.
Anyway isn't a switchback an American term for a roller coaster? [Edit: no it isn't – it's as TJ said]
And stupid o'clock (which it is now).

'blown to smitherenes' – what the bloody hell are smitherenes? Grrrrrr that makes me real mad!

The numpties who make up words like "jhey" or "ghey".

How queer!