People crunching food!

Once you catch that noise, it’s impossible to ignore.

Gulpers and slurpers

Another one: software that tries to be cute. Especially when it’s just crashed. “Oh snap” or “he’s dead, Jim”.
Just. Sod. Off.

“Yes but…”

Boil’s my wee. Especially if I’ve just spent the last however many minutes talking at them…

I’ll also go for unattractive genitalia. As opposed to attractive genitalia.

TBH I was thinking female, but reckoned not to be too sexist about my petty annoyance.

Just eat with your fingers pictonroad, saves on two trips and on washing up. Wipe your fingers on the curtains.

What, and risk getting curry on his bellend after late night sex on the sofa?

FFS

Hee hee, been laughing at all these annoyances.
Use of “get” as in “Can I get a cappuccino” annoys me!

people with seemingly no idea that an umbrella is considerably wider than their pea-brained head and has sharp pointy bits on it at my eye height you ******* **** of a **** ****.
****s

That’s a good one vickypea. Especially annoying when there is no please attached in there anywhere. It’s one of the reasons I couldn’t work in a cafe or bar. I would correct people and get sacked very quickly.

South Eastern trains for having the heating on from September through to May every year.

Film posters – when the posters show the characters of the film, why are their names never in the correct order as per the picture?

People who queue in the petrol station to use the pump the same side as the filler cap, how difficult is it to lift the hose around the back of the car?

Business buzzwords and nonsense – mission critical, key stakeholders, I could go on..

I’ll also go for unattractive genitalia. As opposed to attractive genitalia.

TBH I was thinking female, but reckoned not to be too sexist about my petty annoyance.

Maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I’ve never seen such a thing. I’ve been lucky enough to see a number first hand, and I’ve never yet happened across one that looked, smelled or tasted bad, despite what its owner thought.

Unless diseased or otherwise ‘broken’ I’d hazard that female bits are almost universally pretty, as opposed to the “last chicken in Sainsbury’s” that the blokes got lumbered with.

Can’t be arsed reading it all so someone may have said it already.

People sitting at traffic lights with their foot on the brake when it’s dark. Use the bloody handbrake you incompetent wazzocks, that’s what it for! I don’t want to sit here blinded by your brake lights for however long it takes these lights to go green. That and people driving with front fogs on, usually Nissan Jukes, usually white.

People who queue in the petrol station to use the pump the same side as the filler cap, how difficult is it to lift the hose around the back of the car?

People filling from the wrong side is actually one of my pet hates. It always seems to happen in the lanes where it’s barely wide enough for 2 cars to sit side by side.

I’ve had to queue before because the women to my left was blocking my lane with her fat arse.

Those prompts on websites banging on about their cookies policy.

The fact that European and Asian cars have the indicators/wiper levers on different sides. Super ****ing annoying if you rent cars often.

As has been mentioned – people with two cars that buy NEW houses/flats that only have one parking space. Property developers are taking the p*ss, stop buying them!

People with no spacial awareness

Pretentious “new” terms for things for which there is already a perfectly good word:
“Space” (a room)
“Fragrance” (perfume, or “smell”)
“pre-loved” (second hand. Somebody actually said that non-ironically in a shop the other day – I had to leave).

Oh…. and the incredibly insincere: “sorry for any inconvenience caused”

Bufty, maybe your annoyance should be directed at fat arses? Mine was yesterday on the train. The woman across the aisle had a massive arse that partly blocked the gangway. So everyone walking through the carriage had to dodge it and ended up bumping into me.

People who are habitually late.

It’s rude.

Mr P, I think that you and I are the same person. Or something.

“People with no spacial awareness” – do you mean no awareness of others’ personal space (couldn’t agree more) or no spatial intelligence (for instance I cannot for the life of me see how to fit together some pieces of wood and what they will look like)? It annoys me and possibly Mrs O but I can’t see it annoys anyone else……

Must – not – keep – adding – to – this – thread!!!!!!

Smokers

“People with no spacial awareness” – do you mean no awareness of others’ personal space (couldn’t agree more) or no spatial intelligence (for instance I cannot for the life of me see how to fit together some pieces of wood and what they will look like)? It annoys me and possibly Mrs O but I can’t see it annoys anyone else……

No, I mean people that don’t have any awareness of what is going on around them…. the sort of people that will march out of a shop onto a busy pavement without noticing that everyone else is having to swerve and dodge them to avoid bundling them to the floor. It difficult to explain, but most people are aware of their proximity to objects/people….. but THESE feckers aren’t

Must – not – keep – adding – to – this – thread!!!!!!

Smokers

Fatties

Do the hoses on petrol pumps really extend all the way round to the other side of the car? Genuinely didn’t realise this.

batfink – fully agreed.

bufty – Member

People filling from the wrong side is actually one of my pet hates.

What’s the “wrong side?” Most cars have their fillers on the right, 50% of pumps are on the left…

Noisy eaters, I work in an open plan office and there is a guy who sits on the other wide of the office to me but I still have to leave when he eats his daily packet of walkers or I will kill him.

How can that much noise come from 1 packet of crisps?

Oh and clutter, wanting to use the microwave and having to move 7 things out the way just to get the door open

People who whistle in public. You might think it makes you seem like a jolly old cove as you trill away in the supermarket, but it actually makes me want to embed a potato in your face.

The fact that BT Sport have employed Michael Owen to do their Premiership Commentaries. He’s bloody awful. No matter whats going on on the pitch, all I can think about is; ‘Jesus christ! This is like listening to Marvin the paranoid android read a telephone directory

“quiet areas” these things in open plan offices that encourage deep thinking and intense working where piece and quiet encourage concentration… No not them specifically… Noooo it’s the twonks that sit in them almost shouting down thier mobile phone disturbing all around who are actually trying to work.
Go
Get
Another
Desk
With
A
Phone
On
It
🙄

Parking in the middle of a space big enough for two cars. Ooooh.

Parents who continually park on the access road to my daughter’s school, despite the repeated requests from the head teacher for them to not park there. It annoyed me so much this morning I have photographed all of them and sent A4 pictures to the head teacher in the post.

Greedy shallow people obsessed with money and stuff.

People who leave their motor running at the level crossing, which they know takes about five minutes normally.

Planet-raping ****.

Do the hoses on petrol pumps really extend all the way round to the other side of the car? Genuinely didn’t realise this.

Just about. It was a bit of a squeeze on the Mondeo, but if you drive a Fiat 500 you’ll be fine.

Buffoons who drive with their fog lights on when it’s not foggy.
Asshats.

Do the hoses on petrol pumps really extend all the way round to the other side of the car? Genuinely didn’t realise this.

Some are a bit better than others, but most will stretch.

😆 I’m lying on my deathbed* reading this and it’s really cheered me up.

Up until now I thought I was really tense and intolerant. I’m now beginning to realise I may be one of the UK’s most chilled people 😯

I do agree about all the parking stuff though.

*this might be a slight exaggeration

usually Nissan Jukes, usually white.

I think they only come in white.

Work colleagues who don’t make eye contact with you when they pass in the corridor/office, just so fn rude!

Strange-looking work colleagues who insist on making eye contact with you, even though you are socially awkward and it makes you feel uncomfortable… 🙂

The sound of someone whispering. A woman was doing it on the train last night and it took every ounce of self control to stop myself going over to her and smashing her face repeatedly into the seat back in front of her.

People that hold meetings across corridors/pavements…
People that decide to wait at the narrowest point of a pavement, effectively blocking it…