I have some serious* shortcomings, I know.

I have known about them for a long time, and yet I rarely change until things are too late.

Usually I feel awful, gutted when it’s got that far, I swear I won’t let them happen again, and I get motivation to change. But I always slip back, I lose the motivation.

Right now several people are telling me how impressed they are with things I’ve done, and my attitude and suchlike. But I don’t believe it’s deserved, I feel a bit fake, I can’t really say I’m proud of myself.

How do people gain personal momentum, improve themselves and then stay improved?

A good example is concentration, I lack it, until the shit hits the fan. I usually come good, clear it up in the end, but if only I could concentrate all the way through I’d achieve more.

Is there a book or other course people here have done that helped? TBH it’s mostly lack of self-belief I guess…

Sam/GfS

*This doesn’t include any really horrible hidden things – I don’t beat my rabbits or cheat on my girlfriend I suppose!

I have some serious* shortcomings, I know.

I think that’s also known as ‘being human’.

The trick is to learn to live with being less than perfect.

Is “beating the rabbit” a euphemism?

I mistrust organised people – it’s not normal to be that organised. I much prefer the Douglas Adams quote about deadlines – “I like the wooshing sound they make as they go past”.

What I do is write stuff down – at the end of each day, make quick notes on what needs doing the next day. It might not get done, but it’s a good way of keeping track of stuff.

A good example is concentration, I lack it, until the shit hits the fan. I usually come good, clear it up in the end, but if only I could concentrate all the way through I’d achieve more.

Welcome to the real world, sit next to us other mortals 🙂

Seriously, don’t be so hard on yourself. Many people who are uber focused have shortcomings in other areas and could start a similar thread. Even the guys at the very top have shortcomings, the difference is that they surround themselves with people to balance that out.

Here’s a thought though…does your work bore you senseless? If i’m negotiating, I could work for a week without a break. Stick a document under my nose and I’m restless after 30 minutes.

You do sound more than a little self-critical OP… I would be fairly confident in suggesting this may be out of proportion compared to the failings you mention. If this is the case – I can empathise, I do the same.

I suspect you are being too harsh on yourself, its a mark of a conscientious person that you feel this way

Can you explain all this to your gf its good to talk!

The secret is never try too hard. You can never fail if what you do is always a bit lacklustre.

Thanks for the kind words.

Any ideas how I can chin-up and become more motivated then?

Any Douggy Adams quote is bound to help me though 😉

Woppit – I’m a Brit, but I get the point.

The secret is never try too hard. You can never fail if what you do is always a bit lacklustre.

Could not disagree more.

The only way you better yourself is by pushing yourself. If you do not push every day you’ll only stay where comfortable.

Failure is a lesson, lessons are to be embraced and absorbed & turned into knowledge to succeed. If we never failed, we would be nowhere.

You don’t get to the top of your game, whatever your game may be, without pushing yourself each. and. every. day.

EDIT: Upon reflection I suspect the statement I quoted may have been a troll and I may have nibbled slightly but I’m gonna leave it here anyway.

footflaps – Member
I have some serious* shortcomings, I know.
I think that’s also known as ‘being human’.

The trick is to learn to live with being less than perfect.

This. I have a dry sense of humour which people don’t always get / get offended by, I can’t stand flying, I’m oversensitive, I’m not good ebnough to progress further at work than where I am now, sometimes I eat too much, I’ve spent far to long on STW today and made a rod for my own back at work next week. I’d like to have sex with someone else, preferably Gabrielle Union.

**** it, who gives a shit 😉

If you do not push every day you’ll only stay where comfortable.

What’s wrong with being comfortable?
& it was only a slight troll, with a smirk, but I stand by the point.

Motivation is all about having some kind of target or goal. If you want to achieve anything knowing where you’re going is important. Lots of people lack motivation as they think what they want to do is beyond them or they set unrealistic goals try for one simple achievable but not too easy goal and you can often surprise yourself.

What’s wrong with being comfortable?

+1

I’m very happy being comfortable!

The only way you better yourself is by pushing yourself. If you do not push every day you’ll only stay where comfortable.

Failure is a lesson, lessons are to be embraced and absorbed & turned into knowledge to succeed. If we never failed, we would be nowhere.

You don’t get to the top of your game, whatever your game may be, without pushing yourself each. and. every. day.

You should be on The Apprentice 😉

What’s the point? Life doesn’t have a high score table, no-one’s last words are “I wish I’d spent more time working”.

Sam,
I read your post and saw alot of similarities in myself, I suffer dreadfully from procrastination particularly at work, my home life is surprisingly organised but I seem to have an almost self destructive side to my personality. I like you pull it round at the last minute, I’m pretty hard on myself at times but even as far back as school, I’d always be sat up doing almost entire bits of coursework and stuff the night before a deadline. I’d get a reasonable mark but then be annoyed that I could have done better if only I’d started sooner etc and as I say, similar habits are evident today. I’m going through alot of other difficulties in my home life at the moment which I’m working through but are pretty much caused by this self destructive streak, I’ve alot to be thankful for and my parents are being super supportive and not judging me. I dont want to discuss this side of my life on here but with regard to the procrastinating, I did get in touch with MIND http://www.mind.org.uk/ last year and spoke to a counsellor. They mentioned things like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and EFT (emotianal freedom techniques??) but I live in quite a rural area and there weren’t any therapists which were that close to me. Some GP’s can refer you but from what I gather not always, but may if it’s linked with depression or similar, this might have changed? Like some of the posters have said, you probably are being a bit hard on yourself but you obviously recognise you may have a problem which is always a good start. Keep your chin up, surround yourself with the right friends and family and keep talking about it. Hope things improve for you, you arent alone.

My biggest shortcoming is a lack of organisation/concentration. OP alot of people in my life are sometimes at their wits-ends with this. They really struggle with it (and I can see why).

We can only try to be better.

One of my biggest strengths is the ability to forgive and forget.

Leaving stuff to the last minute is just human nature and nothing to beat yourself up about.

Sure it’s probably good to take steps to minimise this and clearly some people are super organised and never do it but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it, it’s not abnormal.

redted :
🙂

hora:
I also rate the F+F side very highly – maybe it’s because I thinkI ‘ll need it from others?!

Everyone else:
I guess I oscillate from comfy [for too long] to major explosion of stress/effort – but I do believe life needs to be enjoyable!

I do have a bit of manic/depressed side.

Never been to get my mind checked-over – maybe I should? Maybe simple steps could make a lot of difference?

Depression is a lot more common than people think and nothing to be ashamed of. No harm in talking to your GP about it if you think you might be.

A good example is concentration, I lack it, until the shit hits the fan. I usually come good, clear it up in the end, but if only I could concentrate all the way through I’d achieve more

There you go. you get it done in the end so you can hardly blame yourself for not being able to change when you don’t actually fail.

You sound like an ordinary, honest human being.

Is there a book or other course people here have done that helped? TBH it’s mostly lack of self-belief I guess…

Take a squizz at the 7 habits work of Stephen Covey. Not for everyone but might help sort you things out a bit and provide inspiration for making some changes
TM

What’s the point? Life doesn’t have a high score table, no-one’s last words are “I wish I’d spent more time working”.

No one with a shit job ever said that, true. Plenty of people with demanding, creative jobs do indeed think that for reasons that are obvious.

They might not say it exactly in terms of referring to work – if you’re lucky enough to have a very creative vocation you think of work very differently. And if you are one of these people it’s frustrating that you can’t achieve as much as you might through procrastination / organisation issues.

Interesting that you mention Douglas Adams – crippling procrastination and writer’s block meant he left one great book and several awful, derivative follow-ups. I wonder what he thought about his ouevre – a typical hack writer would cry all the way to the bank, but Adams obv had a lot of talent so I wonder if there was any regret there at the pish he ended up writing.

Me – no ambition
No motivation
Extremely slap dash, hardly ever see a job through before I lose interest.
Woefully unorganised
No desire to be a success at anything
Lazy (am in bed typing this)

This is what my wife tells me, she still loves me though, but she is right. I’m 40 now so I’m past the point of caring to reverse it, my wife generally just laughs about it as she is the polar opposite. Been together for 17 years so I guess she just accepts it and doesn’t bother her. I’m sure I must have some good points but I’m struggling to think of any…

It’s better to know your weaknesses than have a blind spot IMO. But your main shortcoming would seem to be putting unreasonable expectations on yourself.

A good example is concentration, I lack it, until the shit hits the fan. I usually come good, clear it up in the end, but if only I could concentrate all the way through I’d achieve more.

I am the same.

The negatives are really the same as the positives, just two sides of the same thing.

I day dream a lot, surf, post on STW and generally mess abouw when I’m meant to be working. But when the chips are down I work very fast and effectively, and I come through well.

It’s because my mind is active and quick, which means it’s very easily bored and distracted by random ideas (I just spend 10 mins on wikipedia reading about the history of Jamaica), but on the other hand I can get my job done very quickly. If I weren’t prone to the former, I’d be less able to do the latter. I see colleagues totally focused on job 8 hours a day, but they end up doing the same work as me.

There’s positives in most things. If you are prone to beating yourself up about stuff (bad) then that means you are conscientious and have high moral standards (good).

Don’t accept other people’s values being pushed on you. Work smarter not harder!

Ha! Where do I start? Can you get a gold medal for prevarication at the Olympics?
[edit]

What’s the point? Life doesn’t have a high score table, no-one’s last words are “I wish I’d spent more time working”.

How very, very true.

What’s the point? Life doesn’t have a high score table, no-one’s last words are “I wish I’d spent more time working”.

What’s wrong with being comfortable?

We didn’t get to the moon being comfortable.

We didn’t build ThrustSSC being comfortable.

We wouldn’t have Van Gogh master pieces by being comfortable.

We wouldn’t have the internet by being comfortable.

In fact, the more I think about it, you wouldn’t have 100% of everything you use every day if no one ever risked failure trying to create something new, push artistic and industrial boundaries, push scientific research.

It’s not about having a high score, it’s about making use of your limited time to leave a legacy, your chance to make a difference. There are a billion other people who will sit on the sofa all day being “comfortable”.

Think about it. **** being comfortable.

Hmm.. most of the people who did the things you mention WERE comfortable doing them, I think. Sometimes being uncomfortable is comfortable… if you know what I mean.

Ah, but do you beat your girlfriend or cheat on your rabbits ?

I have some serious* shortcomings

Can I borrow some, quite frankly I’m finding perfection exhausting.

molgrips – Member
A good example is concentration, I lack it, until the shit hits the fan. I usually come good, clear it up in the end, but if only I could concentrate all the way through I’d achieve more.
I am the same.

The negatives are really the same as the positives, just two sides of the same thing.

I day dream a lot, surf, post on STW and generally mess abouw when I’m meant to be working. But when the chips are down I work very fast and effectively, and I come through well.

It’s because my mind is active and quick, which means it’s very easily bored and distracted by random ideas (I just spend 10 mins on wikipedia reading about the history of Jamaica), but on the other hand I can get my job done very quickly. If I weren’t prone to the former, I’d be less able to do the latter. I see colleagues totally focused on job 8 hours a day, but they end up doing the same work as me.

There’s positives in most things. If you are prone to beating yourself up about stuff (bad) then that means you are conscientious and have high moral standards (good).

Don’t accept other people’s values being pushed on you. Work smarter not harder!

Its not just me then?

I recently changed my job becuase although I could do my old job with my eyes closed, I was bored as Molgrips mentions. Some people think I’m great at work, but personally I don’t see it (mainly because I’m her I suppose).

^Who her?

SRSLY – Molegrips’ words are good ones. I’ll try to keep calm, makes a few simple goals and keep ticking over. Then, if I have to do a lot at the end, it should be less than if I’d left more of it to the end.

I probably need a couple of days off –TGIF– 🙂

We didn’t get to the moon being comfortable.

We didn’t build ThrustSSC being comfortable.

We wouldn’t have Van Gogh master pieces by being comfortable.

We wouldn’t have the internet by being comfortable.

yeah all those guys did that stuff by pushing themselves, there’s nought wrong with that just not for me. Being comfortable has served me pretty well tbh, nice house, car, wife, kids etc. Why try hard if you can suceed by being lazy?

Its not just me then?

It’s most of STW.. that’s why we’re on STW all day 🙂

allthepies – I do sometimes tickle a rabbit that is not my own

avdave 2 – I would imagine it can only be extracted thus and quite frankly I have my suspiscions that it would hurt. As I am clearly lacking in MTFU cream today, I’ll have to give a deferred donation. Do you accept Paypal Gift?

jekkyl – Member

yeah all those guys did that stuff by pushing themselves, there’s nought wrong with that just not for me. Being comfortable has served me pretty well tbh, nice house, car, wife, kids etc. Why try hard if you can suceed by being lazy

Excellent advice. I’m off for a bike ride.

Why try hard if you can succeed by being lazy

That’s fantastic and I envy your ability to switch off,

Unfortunately some of us can’t achieve that mindset.

Personally I love burning the candle at both ends and squeezing as much as I can out of my time in the quest to learn and become better at what I do.

All for that slim chance I might create something amazing – chances are I won’t but at least I can pass away knowing I gave it my all rather than reaching 80 and thinking “ah but if only I tried a little harder…”.

I think that’s where it stems from. The insecurity of wasting time.

plyphon, don’t you find that a bit self defeating – spending all that effort to actually believe that probably nothing will come of it?

Mind you, me doing time crunched training plans probably fits in the same philosophy…

Personally I love burning the candle at both ends and squeezing as much as I can out of my time in the quest to learn and become better at what I do.

Wow, we’re different…!!

(Still in bed typing this)