I’ve got a 3 yr old and another on the way, so people saying ‘ones fine, its after 2 that it all changes’ doesn’t fill me with hope!

I don’t get out as much as I used to but am grateful for the 2 hrs local ride I get at some point most weekends. Also, I try to work from home one day a week and squeeze in a local ride then too. I work 15 mins from Cwmcarn (live in Bristol), and used to get evening rides in there after work, but now its a struggle as I’m needed home as my partner is usually knackered by 5pm. Get the odd longer trip out to go farther afield – afan, quantocks etc – buts its the exception rather than the rule. I mainly ride on my own as I grab opportunities to ride rather than plan regular rides. I’m also struggling to justify 2 mtbs, so probably going to go back down to one.

We’re talking about moving to cambridge from Bristol to (amongst other reasons) be nearer the inlaws and get some family support, but cambridge is obviouly sh1te for mtb’ing compared to Bristol (and probably the only city with a higher bike theft rate!). So as part of the ‘negotiations’ I’m getting regular days /weekends biking as we’ll have her folks gagging to look after the kid(s), so I’ll probably get better quality riding in, but less often.

And as has been said before, your partner and kids are your no.1, and should give you more happiness than riding a bike. If you’re going to resent them (not than anyone here seems to), you need to maybe re-think why you had a family, or don’t have them in the first place.

Oh, and running. 45 mins is a managable time out of the house and generally works you a lot more intensively than mtbing.

Shandy, one word of advice – all my friends moan a LOT when their other halves refer to looking after their own children as babysitting. You aren’t babysitting, you’re their dad!

I think the OP’s arrangement sounds pretty sound. It’s impossible to give ‘enough’ time to work, kids, partner and hobby, so you just do the best you can.

I’m single parent (but not actually single, partner is not father of my child) and found it very hard to get out. Now my daughter is 12 and happy to be left for 2-3 hours at a weekend, I can do a lot more.

It does seem to be ‘easier’ for a father to get out and ride, than for a mother. Mothers often end up the default carer, so make sure the balance is kept, or you will get resented!

Good luck.

Mine are all grown up now but we did pretty much the same as you pedalhead and it worked well. Papadirt played footie on Saturday afternoons, I rode on Sunday afternoons and sometimes in the evenings. There was still plenty of family time and my Mum and Dad were able to visit regularly and look after the boys while we both went riding.

Get a bike child seat?

We have a 6 & 4yr old. They have swimming lessons on Sunday morning which wifey takes them too. That = bike ride time for me.
Sunday afternoons we get the kids out on their bikes too.
If i’m lucky with work, maybe the odd evening spin if I feel like it.

mrsflash – Member

i quite like my wife and kids
you can’t admit that sort of thing on here!

Another one who likes his wife and kid (singular) here. And I like my riding.

Therefore evenings after little one is in bed plus gadgets from these handy sources
When he was young
Now he’s a little bigger
To train him for the future

Plus an unwritten deal that says my wife’s bike is to be no less nice than my nicest bike

barca – I know where you’re coming from with the “reluctant dad” bit. We’d been trying for a while and then just accepted the fact it wasn’t gonna happen. So when my wife did fall pregnant it all came as a bit of a shock. However, now I wouldn’t have it any other way. Mine is also 12 now and I actually find it easier. We all have our own time and family time and any taxi duties are well controlled – i.e. no “just phoning up at random”. Now that she’s into a few more activities, I find I have lots of free time. I can drop her off somewhere for anywhere between 3 and 8 hours some days.

We’ve got kids of 5 and 4. I’m at home looking after them most of the time and my wife works pretty long hours as a teacher. It’s getting easier now as the kids are at school and nursery simultaneously 3 days a week. I maintain what fitness I can mainly by towing the kids everywhere, whatever the weather in a bike trailer. My wife is up and out of the house by 8 to do a run on Sat mornings and often in the summer I’m out earlier than that on Sunday for a run or bike ride – that way we can get at least one longish exercise session each per week without too much impact on family life. We also get our competitive urges satisfied by going orienteering, which is a brilliant sport for families – the parents can get “split starts” which means that one doesn’t have to start their run until the other finishes, there is a “string course” following a bit of string through the woods for toddlers/kids, which ours started doing before they were 3, and there are also lots of other kids about who our kids muck about in the woods with, making childcare pretty easy for a few hours. Also we occasionally go to a climbing wall or running of an evening (just not often at the same time). Then a few times a year we each do some events like adventure races/mountain marathons and last week, even a bike race! (Dorset Rough Riders fantastic event at Wareham Woods, about 2 miles from home).

I think one way to keep going in sport when you’ve got kids is to be prepared to try different sports/events that are easy to get to – not get set on having to go and do things miles away that involve loads of wasted traveling time.

There are 4 of use who ride together all with young children. We normally meet at the bottom of Glentress for a 07:30am start on a Saturday morning. Also try and get a night/evening ride once a week.

You need some you time every week so making that effort to get out ridiculously early or late makes all the difference. It does mean sacrificing any lie in you would ever have. What’s better though a lie in or a ride on the bike.

Also commuting everyday also helps.

Steve

teh missus does her thing one night a week. i do mine and we spend a couple together. lights are useful to extend riding time. i like to see the nippers during hte week so i wont ride direct from work.

weekends are a logistical nightmare with the nipper and the other that lives with her mum so i`m grateful if i get out once every 2 weeks on a weekend.

Sounds like a lot of “maturing” going on!
Played on bikes, boards and just about anything else till I was 30 – married The Midwife, bought a house and had 2 kids in 2 years and started a new business in the middle of it all – and yes a family eats time, energy and spare cash like nothing else.

If you choose to have a family, they come first, everything else is a bonus. If they like to come on the bike – bonus, if they like to play in the sea on boards – bonus. I am very lucky my boys are 11 & 12 and love anything bike and board related, both play for the same hockey club as me so we have just built family life around these activities.

However, you will never be as fast as your single/DINKY mates – most of whom you may find evaporate after a couple of years, unless you are really lucky you’ll always be using older kit – but I find the joy of doing stuff with the boys is more satisfying than hooning around like I used to – guess fatherhood just suits me.

Oh, you’ll hear this a lot “they grow up really fast” – it’s true, it seems like I was bathing my first only last week, he now leaves me for dead on some long climbs – where did 12 years go?

Shandy, one word of advice – all my friends moan a LOT when their other halves refer to looking after their own children as babysitting. You aren’t babysitting, you’re their dad!

Mrsflash babysit is just an easy way to say you’re going to be in sole charge while somebody goes off and does their own thing. One thing marriage has taught me is that you are never 100% right, there is always a nit to be picked.

For instance, if I were to say “don’t worry darling, I’ll babysit, you go off and have a good time” my wife would say something like “you’re not babysitting, you’re her dad”. It is a running joke that too much praise will compromise my training.

I’ve got 4 of the little urchins and my riding time is not what it used to be. I usually manage a couple of hours early on a sunday morning and maybe an evening or two after the kids are in bed, although thats being taken over by diy at the moment – grrr

Hi

We’ve got one 9 month old girl and I’ve been warned it gets a lot harder when (not if!) the 2nd one appears.

I manage by getting up v early and keeping the ride to a short one, getting home around 9 or 10am.

That has meant a few 5am starts having only had 5 – 6 hours of sleep a night during the week due to work. Some rides haven’t been great as a result, but it’s fresh air, I get to see the sun come up etc etc

Agree with the post about hobbies – I have a few and my wife practically none. We’ve pushed for us both to have “me” time so I now take our daughter for hours at a time so mum can have some much needed time off and I get the same as well.

Seems to work for us.

Looking forward to teaching her to ride and that loct thing looks v. good

smurf

I still have selfish thoughts even though my thirteen (youngest) lad rides with me. I can’t ride hard enough enough when he is with me, I miss that.
Though it’s great he rides, even had a few podium places I still need my free time.
Though sadly he has just gone back to football, I think it’s a social matey thing at that age.
Wish my daughter would ride she fit as a butchers dog.

I propose that in the interests of securing more riding time all parents of kids look towards eating their kids as soon as possible.
This could be made legal on the grounds of easing the credit crunch.

Riding and keeping a fair level of fitness with young kids and still managing to be a good husband and dad – this is what works for me (same as a lot of others here)

1. Dont go every weekend, spend time just enjoying the kids while they are young – they grow up fast. 2 weekend ride per month on average works for me.
2. Get a good set of lights and ride in the evenings – you can manage to leave after the kids have gone to bed and go guilt free.
3. Give the wife time to herself – take the kids somewhere or send her out places, important for a relationship but also is time in the bank for future riding
4. Book ahead your riding, let wife and kids know what you are doing in advance – saves some disapointment.
5. Help with kids and house tasks before you are due to go – nothing will cause friction more than the wife having to put kids to bed, do the ironing, clean the kitchen and pick up your socks while you are having a good time riding.
6. Occasional long weekends / trips to trail centers/ racing events are fine. Good if the kids can come along and watch dad race
7. The older the kids get, the easier it is – if you are really struggling when they are young (under 6) dont worry – it will get better
8. Commute by bike if you can – not possible for everyone of course but a long route home can be a good long ride, replacing time wasted in a car.
9. Find groups that ride when you can, if your mates always ride on Sun morning and you cannot most of the time – find other people/groups to ride with as well.
10. If you usually travel in the car to better riding – learn some local routes from the house for when you’ve just got 1-2 hours

Seriously though, instead of thinking about the impact *kids* have on riding time, what about the impact simply having an ‘other half’ has on riding time?
I wonder how people who have recently got together with someone but don’t have kids yet rate their riding time compared to what it was when they were single.

Shandy so does your wife refer to it as babysitting as well when you go out and leave her alone with the kids?

It would seriously p me off if GF referred to it as that to be honest, because I think it sounds like someone not taking full responsibility.

mrsflash – Member

I don’t have kids

mrsflash – Member

Shandy so does your wife refer to it as babysitting as well when you go out and leave her alone with the kids?

It would seriously p me off if GF referred to it as that to be honest, because I think it sounds like someone not taking full responsibility.

My wife and I both refer to it as such, but in that ironic way that one does. Anyway, I know for a fact it’s her child, it’s only assumed that she’s mine.

Mrsflash we both try not to get wound up about the small things, it has worked out ok so far. With 100% of the household income, half of the childcare duties, and half the housework, I’m sure my responsibilities will be attended to.

Yeah, I know, point made druidh, I don’t have kids. But I do know if we did have kids and GF referred to looking after them as babysitting I wouldn’t be impressed – unless it was a joke we shared, which is why I asked shandy the question. And it seems it is a joke they share so I’ll stop being nosy now 🙂

with difficulty and a lot of planning!

get one 2-3 hour weekender in and either a night ride (2 hours) or go out after 7pm when the kids are down.

good lights are essential in the winter if you want to ride at all!

ive got it sussed annoy the hell out of the girlfriend when your at home.she soon wants you out the house.trust me 😀

I have a very active 9 year old girl and a great other half which doesn’t help in the bike riding stakes. It kinda removes some of the motivation to ride your bike as you’re not sure what you’ll miss while out.

It took us a little while to get there, but I decided that it would be best to go out riding before work, nice and early, in the ‘dead time’ when they’re both sleeping/farting about in the morning. Get up at 6 and do some local trails for an hour and a half or so.

I tend to get up at the same time one day at the weekend if we’re busy, so I can get a 3 or 4 hour spin in and be home by 10 or 11, leaving the rest of the day to do family things.

It’s a good arrangement I think, though we do have odd clashes, but I still manage to get out enough to start to improve my fitness steadily and I still get the odd weekend when I can go a bit further afield when nothings on.

It’s all about compromise, something that at the start both myself and my other half were not that great at. But it works if you’re willing to put in the effort.

But now daddy’s happier in the mornings when he’s muddy. 🙂

The little one will be doing a few cyclocross races this winter too…not my idea, she watched one last year and said that she can go faster than those boys. heh heh

Bugger looks like 7hr rides are out then, 7hr rides in the lakes (add 3hrs travel time) are definitley out. 1 ride a week still doesn’t sound much tho, commuting certainly does not count – thats getting to work so in no way can be counted as ‘free time’ 🙂 but it will help with fitness.

Ah well we made the choice to have kids together and I most definitley am looking forward to being a dad. I quite fancy getting a LOCT when he/she is old enough!

We have a 5 year old son so we have a schedule:

Me
Commute between 17 – 34 miles a day four times a week, night ride with very fit riding buddy and one 3hr weekend ride

Wifey
Runs 3 times a week (once with a fitter running partner) and arobics class one night a week.

When wifey’s out I’m in and vice versa.

We have one day in the working week where we are both in and spend the time together, and we operate as a family unit at the weekend.

Sounds very modern when you write it out 🙂

BTW Commuting is not like real riding but having just had 6 weeks off the bike it’s really good to be back on a bike even if it’s just getting to and from work!

Got to allow equal opportunities for time, so if you have a regular night ride, t’other half takes a night for whatever they want too. Applies whatever you use your time for really. It’s great being a dad but it’s also great for us both to get some “me” time if possible too. We come back better for it.

I usually get 1 night ride per week, maybe a ride or 2 at work, and one big full day out per month. Plus there’s a gym at work which helps from a fitness perspective without impinging on family time.

If we go camping or something, I’d usually take the bike, ride from say 5 in the morning, back by 9 ish, and the rest of the family are not long awake so that also works well. I just pretend not to feel tired. Some of my best solo rides have been in these situations. It’s great seeing the sunrise, absolutely no sound, lots of wildlife etc etc.

If there’s something on where the 2 of them are out for the day together – eg they may go on a shopping trip or party or something with just mums and daughters, I’ll usually bag that time for a ride too if possible.
In the same way my wife will seize the moment and do something she likes if I’m out for the day with my daughter, but to be fair we do most stuff all together.

If you don’t give your other half the same time back for themselves as you take out, it will probably end up with trouble.

Daughter’s 10 now, we can do rides together which is ace. I’ve recently learned to chill and push her monstrously heavy kids bike up hills whenever necessary, on the principle it’s better than not riding or putting her off. Took me a while to see the sense in that one.

We have a 3yr old and 5 yr old, my husband does a lot of running and some biking at night as I am not keen on solo night riding.
Since being made redundant I ride in the day& one long ride, one shrt a week plus weekend if lucky) and let other half go out in the evenings.He also does probably one event per month which is half a day, and some commuting of 20 miles each way.
Also manage to share a swimming run with friends on a Sat AM – one week in 4 you take 4 kids to swimming lessons – the other 3 weeks you get a 2 hour ride in.
I think it is possible to fit rides in but not travelling miles to ride and typically (in our house at least !)less than 2 hours a time.
Off to Afan this weekend with kids and friends – hoping to share childcare and riding!
It also gets easier to have 2 on your own as they get older – and they accept and get used to Mummy or Daddy going for a run or ride.

routine is best ride a particular day mid week seems to work best as weekends are family time sometimes negotiate one sunday a month. what you do on a regular basis gets combined into the pattern of the house hold and they how the house hold works.weekends away or events get in the diary at the earliest opertunity. plenty of time to plan around it.

our family riding schedule (3 yr old and 8 mth old)

me:
3-4 times a week 36 mile commute
1 evening ride
1 weekend ride (couple hours max)
occasional weekend away

mrs:
1 evening ride
1 weekend ride
started running to train

together:
bugger all at the mo 🙁 planning on doing sdw together later in the year and should get some babysitting in the mean time so we can do some more rides

This seems to work ok as I’m fine with short offroad rides as all my exercise is from the commute

can’t wait until my lads can come riding with me / they start school so we can do more rides in the day time (using leave time)

Emotional blackmail & manipulation work wonders.

I have a 3year son who lives with me and the wife and a 12 year son from a past relationship who I see every other weekend, so NO riding than. Other times I go on the road monday, wednesday and thursday evenings and every other weekend when my 12 year is not with us MTB on a sunday all day so I make the most of that day and try and MTB all over the place, Pecks, Dale, Lake, Wales etc etc. My wife’s really good about it all, but sometimes I might have taken the pi$$ a bit, but not on purpose. God I love her.

New dad here 🙂

My son is coming up to 4 weeks old and I’ve had 3 rides in his lifetime. Not so much not having the time, just not having the bloody energy!!

When things settle down a bit, my and the Mrs will sort out who’s doing what & when (she’s into netball and running). We’ve already talked about it, and with a bit of compromise on both sides, we should be able to do what we both want.

Thank you Mrs Flash, for having the argument/making the point that I would have made. It does my head in when dads refer to looking after their own children as ‘babysitting’ unless it’s a shared joke like Druidh’s.

That aside, I refer to it as ‘child wrangling’ when mine aren’t at the childminders, and thankfully I have co-operative parents, partner and absent fathers for mine who share the ‘child wrangling’ and enable me to get out and about.

Congrats Woody! The fun is just starting 😉 .

One thing I did find useful was this bike seat, called iBert or something I think. Our toddler loves it…

it gets easier when they get past 5 yrs old and want to go biking themselves – getting a pass is a lot easier in response to “Dad can we go to Laggan this weekend?”

Mine are 17 and 13. I did motorbike enduros and trail riding when they were young. I didn’t ride as much as my mates,but enjoyed it when I did.
My wife is pretty relaxed about me riding my bike,or going fishing,but I do like spending time at home with the family.
Seeing those great photos of the little ones brings back happy memories. Enjoy it,cos they’ll be stroppy teenagers before you know it.

I’ve got a new addition (the first/only?) due in September. My wife and I have talked about both taking on sole responsibility (if that makes sense) from time to time to allow the other a breather. Obviously the plans will most likely be torn up when the sprog turns up but I’m appreciating some of the advice on here. If I can sort a job change the current road bike commute might change to an offroad one which would help, and create more time for everything. Regardless I’m hoping for an evening ride and the odd weekend and still leave plenty of time for parenting.