I dropped crankbrat off at school today to be button holed by his new teacher ( old one went on holiday during term time and left at Xmas he is in his first year ) . I was told that after being told off for usual mischief crankbrat had a massive strop so was sent by new teacher to be elsewhere with an assistant , at this point he said ” I hate Mrs new teacher I want to kill her ” . New teacher when telling me this tale was at pains to say she found this unusual for a four year old. Crankbrat is an articulate and strong willed boy and I have no doubt he could be a pain in class and no qualms about the discipline side of this incident but I am puzzled by the emphasis placed on this being unusual for a 4 year old.
Please feel free to slate my parenting etc but is this really unusual ?

I can’t say I’ve heard (of) a 4-year old making that sort of statement, but there a few teachers on here who might have a more experienced answer. I guess the fact that you were being told it was unusual might be true in that teachers experience?

I blame video games/too much TV/bad parenting/ etc etc etc 😀

maybe the hate and murderous thoughts in one so young might be the unusual bit

😉

I assume pudding will be withheld?

Depends how he said it – ask the teacher if he narrowed his eyes and went into a stare 🙂

Did he mention how he would kill the teacher? Any mention of fava beans and a nice chianti?

I have no idea as to your parenting, and would be loath to judge. I would certainly say, though, that the idea a child would say that they dislike someone enough to ‘kill’ them is unusual. That said, it is not unheard of either. I’m pretty sure most of us could remember moments in our childhood when we had stronger thoughts than our consciences could manage!

If you are raising crankbrat in a loving home, then I would think a gentle talk with him about the gravity of using language like that, and the importance of respecting life, is perfectly sufficient.

Saxonrider that is the plan.
Not sure he fully grasps the concept of killing yet he is just starting to be aware of the idea of death and the most extreme cultural influence in his life is the minions films.

Meh… my five your old has threatened to kill people in play and in anger and also said (when she was upset) “I want to kill myself” 😯

Lots of reasons I guess, looking to create artificial drama or impact because they can’t express more sensibly seems like an obvious one.

Our approach has been to try to talk to her about it and get her to think about the meaning of what she is saying.

Edit: yeah so pretty much what SaxonRider said while I was typing 🙂

A quiet word and perhaps an explanation by the child to he teacher might be in order?

I very much doubt that crankbrat, age 4, fully understands death or the implications of making a death threat. We heard our (4 year old) daughter say something similar quite casually – i.e. not in response to a telling off – so we just said that it was an unkind thing to say and we didn’t want to hear it again. No need to make any more of it than that IMO.

ransos +1

What ransos said. Just say that you don’t like hearing it and saying it makes people sad.

IME (and don’t get me wrong here, I continue to make the same mistakes) kids this age (and plenty older) are attention hoovers. Sometimes, the bigger the deal you make of stuff, the more they’ll do it. We often forget to praise the good stuff because we’re too busy making a big deal of the bad stuff.

Eldest came back from nursery the other week coming out with ‘I’m going to kill you’ etc when told off. Basically on of the little darlings from nursery probably got it from their big brother/sister who got it off the telly. Wouldn’t worry about it, he’ll be saying he wants to marry the cat next week.

TV.

Yep, CBeebies is notorious for glorifying violence and death 🙄

From the teachers I know socially, they can be delicate little things sometimes. Pretty sure your little one will just have heard someone else saying they want to/could kill someone/thing and be imitating it.

I’d have probably responded with something along the lines of being disgusted that the school was allowing him to pick up phrases like that 😉

Of course, read up on how to dispose of bodies sooner rather than later if you really love crankbrat. (;) again, of course)

My 3 year old boy often threatens to ‘Destroy’ his baby 1 year old sister.
I don’t think he means it. I imagine its an expression that he has heard on Power Rangers or something.

ransos – Member
I very much doubt that crankbrat, age 4, fully understands death or the implications of making a death threat. We heard our (4 year old) daughter say something similar quite casually – i.e. not in response to a telling off – so we just said that it was an unkind thing to say and we didn’t want to hear it again. No need to make any more of it than that IMO.

+1

And I have no kids, and no idea what you go through, other than Nephews who I hand back when they have a strop 😆

Teach him to swear properly then he can fully express his displeasure without resorting to death threats.

Nb. I’m not taking this approach with hoppy Jr.

My nephew has started saying “I’ll kill you” when some one does something he doesn’t like.

He was 3 the other day but I think this started when he was about 2.5.

The funny thing is he doesn’t say much at all, he picked up speaking much later than his cousins.

Often the only thing he tends to say is “CAR !”.

After saying it he then goes back to looking sweet and Innocent with a second, so its actually quite funny. Obviously if you then laugh at him, he’s likely to say it again.

So where he picked this up and decided to use it from Im not sure ????

I’ve known our daughter to wish others dead when she was that age. As did her friends. I think that they recognise the finality of death by then but not the implications of wishing it upon someone.

I’d have told Teacher “You better do as he says, he’s not **** about – he’s killed before”.

But seriously, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard, Teachers these days are seemingly rendered dumbstruck by anything that isn’t all sweetness and light.

Yep some kids say it. Both mine have done and have both been told they shouldn’t be saying it as it’s not nice.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, some teachers don’t actually have kids so, although they spend lots of time around kids they don’t see/hear a lot of stuff that kids do or say.

This is one of the reasons it’s important that a child has a pet. It will give them experience of what death actually is. So, the next time your child threatens to kill someone, you can get their pet cat/dog/goldfish/whatever, kill it and let them see the outcome.

Meh.

Teachers these days are seemingly rendered dumbstruck by anything that isn’t all sweetness and light.

You clearly don’t know a lot of teachers 🙄

This is one of the reasons it’s important that a child has a pet.

So they can practice on smaller animals first?

My cousin, when he was about 5, once put a hamster under a doormat and jumped on it to see what would happen. He’s now an investment banker, so it just goes to show.

At that age kids don’t really understand the full meaning of what they say, and it doesn’t have the same emotional impact for them – I’d just explain that saying things like that makes people feel sad.

Probably just heard someone else say it, I reckon.

Once when my sister was young & it was our bed time, she ran into the living room & said very loudly & proudly to our Nan “Good riddance to bad rubbish”. She had heard someone selse say it and thought it was similar to saying something like “Good night, hope the bed bugs don’t bite”.

She got a right telling off & ended up going to bed in tears…. 😆

Sounds like copycat language to me from something they watched, something you watched, a song, an advert, who knows. Small people are VERY susceptible to marketing!

Typical teacher nanny state over reaction. My son is autistic, when in mainstream he got depicted as Damian. In special needs schools, he’s an angel with rough edges.

You know what’s right and wrong. Let small person know. Move on.

I am impressed at the work you have done teaching Crankbrat to word his threats so as to “want to” and carefully preclude any impression that he was “going to” or “about to” kill her, so as to avoid any offence under S16 OAPA.

I think you need to express a significant level of professional pride at that, chip off the old block I reckon 🙂

Perhaps withdraw their use of GTA until they agree to not threaten to kill teacher. As thats how you can incriminate yourself young master crankbrat.

though I’d share crankboys profile picture

My cousin, when he was about 5, once put a hamster under a doormat and jumped on it to see what would happen. He’s now an investment banker, so it just goes to show.

And bencoopers left wing anti-capitalist views are explained. Though, joking aside, that is pretty serious behaviour. Don’t google “serial killer, early signs” if I were you.

+1 for picking it up from somewhere else.

Just tell him it’s not nice and that he’s not to say it and leave it at that.

My cousin, when he was about 5, once put a hamster under a doormat and jumped on it to see what would happen. He’s now an investment banker, so it just goes to show.

should go into politics, he’d do well on the current front bench. 😉

How so? There’s no mention of post mortem intercourse with the rodent.

We just had “the chat” he has now decided he is going to lock her in jail for 135 years for telling on him . So we had another chat.

Has he offered to help her lay a patio?