“I can always tell when the mother in law’s coming to stay… the mice throw themselves on the traps.”
Les Dawson
“My wife said: ‘Can my mother come down for the weekend?’ So I said: ‘Why?’ and she said: ‘Well, she’s been up on the roof two weeks already’.
Bob Monkhouse
“My mother-in-law said ‘one day I will dance on your grave’. I said ‘I hope you do, I will be buried at sea.'”
Les Dawson
“I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won’t let me plug it in.”
Henry Youngman
“I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her.”
Ken Dodd
“I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud’s Chamber of Horrors and one of the attendants said: ‘Keep her moving sir, we’re stock-taking.'”
Les Dawson
“A police recruit is asked during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother-in-law?” He replies, “I’d call for backup.”
Bernard Manning
“My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.”
Les Dawson
“I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”
Henry Youngman
“My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.”
Les Dawson
😆