• This topic has 112 replies, 58 voices, and was last updated 5 months ago by DezB.
Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 113 total)
  • Online dating. Tips?
  • Premier Icon Andy_B
    Full Member

    When you do meet someone, keep it simple and cheap. You’ll know within an hour (and they will too) if you’d ever want to meet them again so no point spending big money on a first date.

    I’m in London and there are plenty of gold diggers around just looking for a decent meal or drinks to be bought all night. The odds are in their favour so even very average girls get away with it.

    Premier Icon augustuswindsock
    Full Member

    When you do meet up, just meet for a coffee at first, that way you’re only gambling 15-20 minutes of your life, you’ll know after that long if you want to see each other again or avoid like a plague!

    Premier Icon GolfChick
    Free Member

    Everyone is going to have mixed views and opinions of the whole online dating experience. I’ve been using internet dating since before it was ‘the done thing’ but even so my advice and tips wouldn’t be for everyone and being female it’s obviously a slightly different perspective.

    As someone has stated you will get some people with either emotional or physical baggage but you’re also in the same situation so no doubt you’re bringing some into it as well so it’s unfair to judge on that. Also we live in a throw away society so people don’t always put the work into relationships and just walk away too easily so again isn’t always true.

    Definitely agree that once you’ve realised you have a little in common and get on then suggest a date. Definitely be up front about your situation and the fact you’re newly single and not sure if you’re ready or what you want from it.

    Women get A LOT of messages, like a lot! They have to sift through that to find people they like the sound and look of and they will need to be quite elitist to get the numbers down. Whether you meet those requirements is specific to the lady and may seem unfair and wrong but that’s how it is. Be genuine and honest and hopefully the right person will see you.

    Despite people saying don’t post photos of you properly riding it depends what you’re looking for. I posted photos of me properly riding as people need to appreciate it’s my passion so it’s part of me. I had many messages saying how they also rode and someone with a Halfords special telling me how decent it was. Errr yeah ok! Either way I want something in common with the person as it’s important for me and relationships have ended before because of a lack of it. So for me someone properly riding even with red flag of something else would get a reply.

    Good luck and yeah don’t take it personally.

    Premier Icon midlifecrashes
    Full Member

    Best tip is switch your phone off should you find yourself in Doncaster or anywhere similar.

    How much is a train ticket to Doncaster?

    Tickets to Doncaster are cheap. Tickets out of Doncaster…

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    This could be quite a long bit of typing, will try to keep it brief! Funny/strange story about a date I had once – met in a pub, got on amazingly well, really laughing and felt like we’d known each other ages. I was quite keen, but played it cool, didn’t rush to text back after the date for a few days, then when I texted she had a go at me for not being enthusiastic enough. So I said “Well, I don’t know the rules of middle-aged dating.” or similar. She lost her nut! Left me a long rambling voice mail, including the words: MIDDLE AGED? I’m not Middle aged! She was 52, iirc. hmm… So we talked about the Fury-Wilder rematch – are you watching it live, she said? No, says I, I’m reffing rugby in the morning so need a proper night’s sleep. Called me boring! Oh, this is an historic event! etc. I’m having people round to watch it live! she says, makes quite a big deal of it.
    Day after the fight, (which Fury won easily by KO, in case you don’t know) I call and say wow! did you watch it? She says, yeah, hmph, another draw! Erm, are you sure..? Turns out she’d watched a replay of the first fight! I mean, mental. I did get a big apology for the voicemail rant, but I left it there. Mostly out of fear. 😆 😲🤪

    Premier Icon Poopscoop
    Full Member

    Ah, I did start that thread I mentioned. It is closed now.

    Tinder, my thoughts…

    Premier Icon jag1
    Free Member

    The best advice I got was set up a separate email address and get a phone number especially for online dating. That way if you find someone or choose to take a break you can easily switch off.
    Then again I’m female so instantly got loads of replies, sounds like it may be tougher for men to get replies. In the end didn’t meet anyone through that but through a sporting club.

    Premier Icon willard
    Full Member

    The only experience I’ve had of dating apps is of people using them for a) a quick shag with no strings attached with a different person every time (Tinder), or of people getting romanced scammed (a recent one by a really emotionally exposed friend) into what I think was money muling.

    Like the OP, I went through a long period of singleness after my last marriage ended (and I got screwed over by someone after I went into another relationship too soon). I remember declaring to all that I was happy with just my dogs, being an uncle and going to the gym. Then I met someone at the gym, moved to Sweden to be with her and have been with her for four years.

    No more marriage. Not again.

    Anyway, dating apps. Yeah, but no. Not for me. Even if I was single, I’m too old to do the one night stand thing and distrust people enough as it is without that risk of the dating scams.

    Premier Icon tthew
    Full Member

    Just be yourself.

    No, hang on. That’s not right.

    Just be George Clooney, you’ll be beating them off with a shitty stick.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    you’ll be beating them off with a shitty stick.

    Do they like that sort of thing then? I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

    Premier Icon i_like_food
    Full Member

    Just be George Clooney

    Sadly I’m too pale, unsophisticated, ginger and poor to pull that off.

    Loads of great advice, especially the ‘dont take it personally’ and ‘short first date’.

    The female perspective is also really helpful too, so thanks to the ♀️ who posted.

    Perhaps SingletrackSingles is a new income stream that Chipps et al. could mine? 😂

    Premier Icon scratch
    Free Member

    Make sure your photos are on point, head shot, upper body shot, friend’s and activities in that order. The app based ones are so easy to swipe right on you get less than a second to make an impact, it’s worth spending some time getting that first pic right, lighting, mood and smart’ish clothing. It shouldn’t be like that but it is for both genders.

    Bio wise I’d keep it light with a few interesting references so they can see your not Mr boring, add some sports activities to show your fit and active, If you can sneak a bit of humour in all the better, light, breezy and not too try hard.

    Indipendent, responsible, active, good sense of humour. Everyone’s different but to keep the numbers up I’d leave the niche stuff till after you’ve met, it’ll give you a larger group of people to actually date, then you can start chatting about your fave Starwars characters.

    Don’t be too keen to meet but definitely sooner rather than later, no ones looking for a pen pal.

    Humour can be difficult in those initial messages, you can say something you think is really funny, and you’re trying to show a bit of personality, but without them hearing you’re tone of voice and body language it can come over very differently!

    It’s a mine field but play it cool, don’t take it too seriously, and good luck!

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Perhaps SingletrackSingles is a new income stream that Chipps et al. could mine? 😂

    They skipped that stage and went straight to a tie in with Lovehoney, iirc…..

    Premier Icon steamtb
    Full Member

    I was in a similar situation to you over a decade ago. Went on match.com, had several dates in a short space of time, nothing panned out and I think I was a bit too keen. Then a girl not in my area contacted me and we got on really well by message so I decided to head to Shropshire from Manchester. The date (nice meal) was ok but we immediately decided we didn’t like each other in that way. Then came another few weeks of crappy dates whilst me and the lady from Shrewsbury kept chatting about how awful our other dates were 🙂

    One weekend I was at a loose end, so I suggested hiking to the Shropshire lass, we were both happy that it wasn’t a date. Anyway… we had a full day hiking across the Pennines, realised we did like each other after all then did the date thing that night. Our next dates were mountain biking, hiking and fun outdoor stuff.

    We’ve now been married for nine years, have an amazing eight year old daughter and live in a monumentally great place for biking. I am lucky I didn’t go off that first date and I’m glad we did something we both actually really enjoyed instead of a typical “date”. 🙂

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    I have some advice! Be patient.

    That is all 🙂

    Premier Icon Blackflag
    Full Member

    The key thing to note is that hygiene standards are a lot higher than back in the day. You will need to shave / wax yer balls for starters.

    Premier Icon i_like_food
    Full Member

    The key thing to note is that hygiene standards are a lot higher than back in the day. You will need to shave / wax yer balls for starters.

    Not sure if that’s a 🤯 or a 🤣 but it’s definitely a ❌

    Premier Icon Houns
    Full Member

    Back in the day?! Some of us have been doing it for 25+ years

    Premier Icon Blackflag
    Full Member

    Houns – ahead of your time

    Premier Icon chewkw
    Free Member

    Isn’t online dating a bit scary chatting to strangers?

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    Isn’t online dating a bit scary chatting to strangers?

    Give me your number and I’ll whatsapp you 😉

    Premier Icon rogermoore
    Full Member

    Some of us have been doing it for 25+ years

    When you expecting to finish? 😀
    RM.

    Premier Icon mattyfez
    Free Member

    My funniest one I think, was someone who who apparently didn’t drink and didn’t smoke but didn’t seem to mind that I did.

    I figured it wouldn’t go any further, and it didn’t, but I wasn’t busy that Friday night so thought what the hell.

    Ten minutes into the date we’re at a bar and she’s knocking back fancy g&t’s and pinching smokes off me.

    We both end up pretty trollied and went our separate ways some hours later.

    We pretty much went Dutch on the bar bills so it wasn’t like she was taking advantage.

    I texted her back the next day and no reply… The whole thing was quite bemusing. Lol

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    Moral of the story, whilst you think you’re not ready for the next thing, you might just meet someone who makes you think otherwise.

    The first date with my partner, I agreed to go for a drink and I said “cards on the table, absolutely the last thing I’m looking for right now is a relationship.”

    ~ three years later, we’ve bought a house together.

    Isn’t online dating a bit scary chatting to strangers?

    Doesn’t seem to stop you doing that on here. (-:

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    I’ve got 2 dates on Saturday 😂
    Like buses they are. Although slightly slimmer

    Premier Icon Poopscoop
    Full Member

    @mattyfez

    So you basically turned a teetotal woman to drink addiction in one date? Impressive. 😉

    Premier Icon Kit
    Full Member

    15 years of online/app dating attempts and had zero to little success.

    Either I’m an ugly ginger **** or an uninteresting ginger ****.

    One way or another, I’ve been single a long time! Not helped by living in a rural single + intelligent desert.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    Like buses they are.

    If they both come at once you might be onto a winner.

    Premier Icon tjagain
    Full Member

    OMG

    I am going to have to face dating again at some point I guess – not ready for it now tho but these stories. Help!

    Premier Icon granny_ring
    Full Member

    At least it’s easy to spot the completely mental women now, they’ve got a “sticker” saying Proudly Unvaxed 😀


    @DezB

    Unvaxed or unwaxed?

    Premier Icon PiknMix
    Full Member

    Either I’m an ugly ginger **** or an uninteresting ginger ****.

    There is the third option 😉

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    I think it’s terrible that the poor ladies don’t have a carpet cleaner.

    Premier Icon grum
    Full Member

    Not helped by living in a rural single + intelligent desert.

    You’re on a hiding to nothing trying dating apps in the countryside I’m afraid. The pool of potential partners is just not big enough.

    I moved to Glasgow to get some action – it worked and now I’m back in the countryside again with my lovely partner 😛

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    15 years of online/app dating attempts and had zero to little success

    Well, when I said ‘be patient’ … 🥺

    Premier Icon bigdean
    Full Member

    Well just deleated Tinder and POF accounts been online dating a year now some good dates some lasted a few months but nothing more.
    There are some nutters and some who just aren’t over there ex.
    Best was a womannwith 6 cats who told me 8 months was not long enough after previous relationship to be fully over it then went on to tell me how she kept going back to the same guy after 4-5 months of him dumping her.

    Like has been said just be “Normal”, appparently this stands out a lot, oh and be tall😁
    Best advice was from one woman who said “you’ll be fine your 40’s, single and over 6 foot”.

    Anyway chatting to one woman who looks totally out of my league but we’ll see, if not i’ll start again after valentines day.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    One of the 2 I mentioned above is lovely… 10 years younger than me and seems keen. Had 2 dates now.
    The other was funny, very attractive and fit, has run marathons… but had a voice like a foghorn. Felt like the whole pub could hear our conversation! I really couldn’t cope for more than a short time, so tried to let her down gently with a ‘you’re nice, but not for me’ text the next day and she kept messaging back! Why not? How could you tell in such a short time? etc. Maybe i shoulda just said ‘I can’t stand the sound of your voice!’ 😂 But you can’t can you!?

    Premier Icon big_n_daft
    Free Member

    The other was funny, very attractive and fit, has run marathons… but had a voice like a foghorn.

    Thought 1: she was nervous and is one of those people who gets loud when nervous so possibly worth a second chance
    Thought 2: Find a polite way to tell her, she might just not be aware, at least the next date might not get deafened

    Premier Icon mjsmke
    Free Member

    I used a few different apps. Bumble seemed to be the best for me as women have to send the first message after a match before men can send anything. It filters out a lot of the male time wasters.

    As others said, be patient and honest about what you want. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to get out and meet people as long as they know that.

    oh and be tall

    That helps massively. I’m 5ft5 and had a lot of women say I’m too short, before even meeting me. Like a ridiculous amount. Even women at 5ft2! They all want a 6ft + person. Nearly gave up due to to shallow people but I perceiviered and met someone. Been together nearly 3 years now and just got engaged.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Full Member

    she was nervous and is one of those people who gets loud

    No, unfortunately it wasn’t that at all. Was the tone, accent etc. Just a horrible voice. Wasn’t the only thing too, and I was as polite as I could’ve been tbh.

    I feel for you mjsmke, I see the height “requirements” on profiles and reject them as shallow, even if I’m taller than they ask for! Good luck

    Premier Icon big_n_daft
    Free Member

    No, unfortunately it wasn’t that at all. Was the tone, accent etc. Just a horrible voice. Wasn’t the only thing too, and I was as polite as I could’ve been tbh.

    Well you didn’t mention there was more! I’d just tell her nicely. As long as she doesn’t know where you live…..

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 113 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.