- One sided relationships
Are most of you close to your siblings? I have older siblings and one of them, my brother just never, ever, ever makes contact with me, he’s never been to my house, never text/called off his own back, rarely replies to messages and generally has never really bothered to make an effort. Is this just a bloke thing or is he trying to tell me something? I’m feeling a bit beyond making an effort any more but he’s got kids and I don’t really never want to see them 🙁Posted 6 years agoojomMember
As TJ says
just because they are family doesn’t mean you can always have a relationship. Sad maybe but true. I have a similar situation with my brother. Stems from being at boarding school together 2 years apart. It’s like we stopped being brothers when i was 10. Find it hard being in the same room for more than an hour.
Might be one of those situations that you can see a solution to after it’s too late…Posted 6 years agothisisnotaspoonMember
Some folk[b]blokes[/b] are just like that. Don’t worry about it.
Blokes are pre-programed to have short term relationships (no not talking sex) and will happily talk crap in the pub for 3 hours then not see each other again for years, which is why a lot more gals use facebook every 30 seconds than guys.Posted 6 years agokevjMember
Highly possible he is just very busy and juggling too many things.
I don’t spend the time I would like to with my family but it is difficult to prioritise the essentials, then fit in family time.
^My circumstances. I don’t go out drinking and <Confession time> don’t get out riding as much as I would like to.
What with work, uni and my boys, riding is a bigger priority than seeing my sis.
Wish it could be different, both for my free time and for my sis.Posted 6 years agoprojectMember
I’ve barely spoken to my older brother in 30 years. The only thing we ever had in common was our parents and they’ve passed on
Same with me,my brother never rings, or visits, and neither do i, we just dont have anything in common, oh and yes it sometimes bugs me, but mostly its hidden in the back of my memories.
Its probably human nature, or just ignorance of others feelings.Posted 6 years ago
I don’t think I smell TSY 🙂 well, not that bad anyway.
We get on fine when we see eachother and actually have quite a bit in common but he just really isn’t bothered. I know he’d be there if I needed him in a crisis kind of thing, I just don’t get the lack of contact. Suppose he might just not think about it perhaps.
Edit : see I do contact him project so you couldn’t even say well perhaps I should make more of an effort because I do, then I worry that I’m just bugging him so leave it for a while. Oh well, like TJ said , just because it’s family doesn’t mean he has to like me!Posted 6 years agoTandemJeremyMember
I didn’t mean it quite like that. some folk just don’t make an effort to see people / arrange to do things. It doesn’t mean they nessasarily value your relationship less, its that tehy never get around to it.
I get on very well with my sister however she almost never phones me – I phone her a few times a year and we see each other every couple of years. Its just the way she is. If I never phoned her we would never speak.Posted 6 years agoSTATOMember
My dad has a sister who lives in Ireland somewhere, i dont even know her name. Only know of her as it came up when we were chucking out a lot of crap from the loft and they said she had sent me it (some random toy bear). Apparently my nan hears from her every couple of years by phone, and a card on her birthday, nuts.Posted 6 years agothe-muffin-manSubscriber
I’ve not seen or spoken to my elder brother in 3 years, and the wife has nothing to do with her elder sister.
I spend time with people I want to be with and who want to be with me rather than wasting effort on those who I dislike just because they happen to be family.Posted 6 years ago
I sat next to someone at a carol service today who kept looking at me and saying ‘yuk, it smells of feet and farts in here’ so perhaps I should invest in some deodorant.
Kids are small, under 5 but I can’t see how that stops you sending a text every now and then Charlie?Posted 6 years agojuanMember
Are most of you close to your siblings? I have older siblings and one of them, my brother just never, ever, ever makes contact with me, he’s never been to my house, never text/called off his own back, rarely replies to messages and generally has never really bothered to make an effort. Is this just a bloke thing or is he trying to tell me something? I’m feeling a bit beyond making an effort any more but he’s got kids and I don’t really never want to see them
Gaëlle..? Mais que ce que tu fou làPosted 6 years ago
My sister would just say that. Word for word.plodtvMember
My relationship with my older brother is the same, for all my family. Sick of waiting him to visit, phone, respond etc. Finally decided that if I wanted a relationship with him I’d have to do the legwork. I do and we do and it’s great, but if I stopped being in his minds eye it would fall back again, I guess some folk are just like that. Don’t think it’s a bloke thing, I’m a bloke my relationship with my sister is 50:50.Posted 6 years agograntwayMember
Don’t worry about it I have a brother and a sister
(younger than me, only by Two years)
The only time I hear from them is when they want me to do something
for them, which I say I am to busy.
I see them on birthdays and over Christmas.
Don’t let it get to you, it doesn’t bother me anymorePosted 6 years agojohn_drummerMember
I have older siblings and one of them, my brother just never, ever, ever makes contact with me, he’s never been to my house, never text/called off his own back, rarely replies to messages and generally has never really bothered to make an effort.
are you my sister?
I’m a lazy sod, I guess he is tooPosted 6 years agoallthegearMember
My brother has never really been one for staying in touch. It’s nearly always me who calls him, pretty much weekly.
My mum tried to blame it all on me coming out and him not dealing with it but, to be honest, he was exactly the same before.
Funny thing is; he seems to have no problem saying that I’ll be bringing his daughter’s (very large) presents down to Lincolnshire for him…
RachelPosted 6 years ago
Okay, so we’ve sorted out the smell.
I never, ever text or call my younger sister and rarely make the effort with my older sister. Love ’em to bits and get all the news from my Mum about what’s happening with them and make the effort to visit my parents when I know my sisters and their families are there. This is despite the fact that my older sister lives about 200 meters from me and my parents are a car journey away. Keep better phone and text contact with my bro although can easily go a month without hearing from him.Posted 6 years agomuddydwarfSubscriber
Jesus, where to start?
I have a sister who is 3yrs younger than me and we haven’t spoken (apart from a 3 word phone call) in 15yrs.
She is a manipulative and downright nasty woman, she has 5 kids and when my mother travelled from Nottingham to Rochdale in a snowstorm to deliver Xmas presents some yrs back she grabbed the presents out of my mother’s hands and slammed the door in her face.
The father of 4 of her kids was an old schoolfriend of mine (i even introduced them) and when they were going through a rough patch she kicked him out and used the kids as a weapon to get him to jump through hoops.
The poor sod drank himself to death.
At his funeral my dad and i went, but i refused to go to the wake as i knew what would happen. My father went.
3hrs later he rang me in tears saying “your sister is the most evil woman i have ever met and i never want to see her again”.
Basically, she’d programmed the kids to tell everyone that John’s death was all my fathers fault.
The last time i saw him he threatened to put me through a window, saying that she was the only good one from a rotten family – i laughed and told him he was so fat he’d give himself a heart attack if he tried 🙁
Then to top it all, she then rang my dad out of the blue demanding he give her and her brood a lift to the airport for her holiday!Posted 6 years agoPJM1974Member
It’s sometimes the way it goes. I grew up thinking I was very close to my older brother, but as soon as his own family came along I felt like a spare part, to the point where I’m the afterthought when it comes to organising family dos. I still care about him, but I’ve stopped trying to find fault within myself to explain events.Posted 6 years agoourmaninthenorthSubscriber
My mother is 66. She went to the GP with RSI in her thumbs from overusing her blackberry texting and emailing with me. We speak every week.
I think I spoke to my father when it was his birthday a month ago. He never texts, emails or calls and nor do I . He acknowledges he thinks this is normal. I literally have nothing to say to him.
I speak to my sis now and again, and occasionally text or email with her, but she’s like my father – too busy doing what she’s doing. She and I see the world very differently.
Life is simple. People are complicated.Posted 6 years ago
So probably a mix of him having kids, being old(er) and having different priorities. Meh, I’ll leave him to it, he’ll want his Christmas present next week so im sure he’ll be in touch eventually although I did once get his Christmas present over in April one year. There are others things though that have made me think he’d rather I just didn’t bother so for now I’m just going to leave the ball in his court so to speak, or is that being terribly womany of me?Posted 6 years ago
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