On the phone, Windows have found a virus on my computer – lol

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Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 68 total)
  • On the phone, Windows have found a virus on my computer – lol
  • ski
    Member

    had him hanging on 17min so far!

    PJM1974
    Member

    Ask them if they support Amiga OS4.1, which is the system you’re currently running πŸ™‚

    ocrider
    Member

    Ask him how to plug the mouse in.

    PeterPoddy
    Member

    Tell them your cup holder is broken and ask where to get a new one!

    ski
    Member

    now counting the errors to him over the phone, up to 118 so far…..

    thegreatape
    Member

    Tell him you can’t use the internet and the phone at the same time.

    Premier Icon portlyone
    Subscriber

    Ask him if he wants to see you on cam

    ski
    Member

    when do I tell him we use ubuntu here πŸ˜‰

    RealMan
    Member
    Premier Icon Rusty Mac
    Subscriber

    tell him to hold on as you need the loo, put phone on speaker, go flush the toilet then just don’t pick the phone back up, go about what ever you were doing leaving him to wonder what the hell is going on.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    “Hang on there’s someone at the door” should give you five minutes.

    Premier Icon Nick
    Subscriber

    ask him how he got into IT and whether he thinks you might stand a chance if you retrain, offer to send him your cv, ask for an e-mail addres….

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Put him on to your “sister” and spend the next five minutes with a high-pitched voice. Ask him if he’s single.

    ski
    Member

    he now wants me to go to the logmein123 website, is this where I tell him I am not connected to the internet πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    From experience of talking to users, it’s very easy for them to mistype ‘logmein’ many, many times.

    Ask him how to spell it, including ‘onetwothree’ and ask “L… O… is that O for Romeo?”

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    “Oh, my broither blocked that address on our router to stop me beign caught by scammers”

    Premier Icon Rusty Mac
    Subscriber

    Tell him you can’t belive window suport centre could be so helpfull, you are so gratefull they have pointed out this massive amount of error on your pc and you would like to send them coffee and cakes from there nearest Starbucks, all you need is an address to give to Starbucks for the delivery.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    “Oh, my PC’s just crashed… wow, you were right, give me a minute whilst I reboot… ”

    RealMan
    Member

    is that O for Romeo?”

    Biggest laugh I’ve ever had on here πŸ˜†

    ski
    Member

    29min now…..

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Your closing line, incidentally, should be “oh, wait, sorry, my mistake … I don’t have a computer.”

    Premier Icon woody2000
    Subscriber

    Tell him your wife’s just come home and could he give you a couple of minutes. Then, stick some web porn on and just leave it playing – I guarantee he won’t hang up πŸ™‚

    RealMan
    Member

    Ask him if it’s likely you got the virus from when you downloaded 2TB of Gordon Ramsey dwarf porn the other day.

    ski
    Member

    RealMan – Member

    Ask him if it’s likely you got the virus from when you downloaded 2TB of Gordon Ramsey dwarf porn the other day.

    lol like that, will give that a spin

    TurnerGuy
    Member

    I let him think I was on his support web site, where he tries to get you to go.

    Then I told him my laptop had frozen.

    Then when advised to cycle the power I told him it was dead, no response.

    Then he worriedly got his supervisor to talk to me.

    Then they advised me to take it to my local hardware support people.

    Then they called me back a few days later and I told them I had to buy a new laptop and the guy had put loads of AV software on it so there was no way it now had a rootkit problem – so I didn’t need their help anymore.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    When you do get the URL correct, make sure you’ve typed it into the search bar rather than the address bar then you get a page full of search results rather than a web page. That’s always good for a couple of minutes. Insist on typing it correctly rather than following the link. Ask what the numbers were again.

    Premier Icon fatmax
    Subscriber

    aw shucks – i had them on the phone yesterday, and wish now that i’d had this for inspiration.
    an indian/asian accent, from melbourne in oz, calling from ‘windows’…priceless…

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    “Hey, what’s the weather like over there in California?”

    ski
    Member

    My software is running out soon, but he cannot tell me which software – lol

    ski
    Member

    Gordon Ramsey dwarf porn

    Went over his head, that one…..

    RealMan
    Member

    Went over his head, that one…..

    Pun intended?

    carbon337
    Member

    I had one on for ages winding him up – ubuntu running on Mac via virtual host had him confused for a bit.

    He got very abusive to me and i must say i reciprocated and then he read out all my details to me – name, telephone number, full address.

    He was calling me an idiot and a retard etc – i asked him how he felt knowing that i was sleeping in my medium size house with my 2 cars and computers whilst he slept in a shanty town in Mumbai. All very childish from my part but i couldn’t resist.

    At that point i hung up on him.

    ski
    Member

    42min now…………

    Zulu-Eleven
    Member

    Hang on, let me look at this page.. erm.. “about this mac”

    dogbert
    Member

    tell him to speak very quietly, you’re part of an anti scammer black ops CIA unit about to storm a call center and you’re trying to get line up your cross-hairs on the back of someones head

    when he asks for your IP addess give them 198.81.129.125

    andyl
    Member

    you could do the childish but highly infuriating route of just repeating everything he says. πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    If they want your IP address, give them 127.62.193.11 (or anything starting with 127).

    I’ve taken out more than one script kiddie that way.

    retro83
    Member

    Cougar – Member

    If they want your IP address, give them 127.62.193.11 (or anything starting with 127).

    I’ve taken out more than one script kiddie that way.
    http://bash.org/?742386 πŸ˜†

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 68 total)

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