Should I engineer one?

Be thankful I can talk my way out of such situations?

Go to my grave having missed out on a base and fundamental part of living/life?

I am 51 and was in a few, fairly comedic ones, when (a lot) younger. In my opinion it’s over-rated…

Should I engineer one?

Absolutely. It’s actually not as hard as most people think. Just hang out with drunk people, wait till someone gets mouthy, then yell right in their face “You’re a ****ing **** and your girlfriend’s a fat ugly **** too.” There will be a short pause then you just need to lie on the floor and curl up and cover your face. Once the fight is over, you will be celebrated for your courage. The resulting hangover will make any injuries seem inconsequential. was the favourite Saturday night entertainment when I was young. Important detail is you should only try this when there is a crowd of onlookers to prevent you getting stomped to death – trying it alone in a dark alley would be silly because there’s nobody to witness your heroism and to save you.

They, as a rule, hurt! The black ear I received once was particularly shit! Unfortunately these days folk don’t know when to stop or they could well be carrying so I’d avoid at all costs even if you’re hard as ****!
Kebab man coming at us over the counter with the elephant leg knife in hand was an eye opener.
Most recent for me was angry Mercedes man he was wired and well up for it, for the above reasons I stayed in the van as I knew that one would have gone big time!
Avoid!

A good question. As people have mentioned above, it will probably hurt.

If you are going to engineer one, Id suggest learning how to fight, or at least how to deflect kicks and punches before taking it to the streets and get a stab vest Or pick on someone about 40 years younger.

It’s a good thing that you’ve never ended up in one. If you really fancy giving it a go though pick a small child or very short man. That way you can perform the hand on forehead manoeuvre and watch them fly in to an impotent rage as they struggle to land a blow.

Get a job in a rough pub. That way, at least you’ll be getting paid for it, and may even get compo if you do get hit (I did once 😊)

Me too, so I started Karate 5 years ago and now get the opportunity to give and receive a good hiding once a week in a controlled environment with similarly sober and unarmed people.

Invigorating and occasionally very, very painful.

pick a small child or very short man.

Be careful about that, you might lose, in which case you look like a ****. Even if you win, you still look like a ****. Better to take a mild beating from a big guy, that way you look like a heroic battler. The point of fights is not really to physically beat the other guy, it’s to develop a public image as a hard man who’s unafraid of anyone. The beatings you take along the way are inconsequential in comparison to earning your right to drink in rough pubs with other hard men.

in comparison to earning your right to drink in rough pubs with other hard men.

Pubs with flat roofs. It’s important to add the roof bit. Truly hard men only drink in pubs with flat roofs. None of this triangular malarkey.

I’m 40 and I’ve been stabbed twice.

Join the travelling community. They have some epic old fashioned battles, as seen on YouTube.

Somewhat shamefully, I followed a football team for many years. Always loved away games, especially somewhat rough, in London. I was eventually nicked at one & spent a night in the cells. But in those days it was all bravado. A bit of fronting up, a charge & a few punches or kicks. But it was with similar likeminded idiots, never with anyone not looking for it. It was usually one on one & all over in a few mins. None of this 6 lads stamping someone half to death.

Sadly, the acceptance of low level crime in the last few decades has brought down the acceptance of more serious crime too, with too many idiots ready to stick a knife in to someone.

I was glassed 19 minutes into the new millennium, so will happily walk away from a fight with a moth these days.

Just sign up for UWCB with the other middle aged IT guys?

Just sign up for MAWCB with the other middle aged IT guys?

FTFY

I remember there being lots of fights when I was younger, they were always the dumbest things that could possibly happen.

We were actually talking about this the other day. There used to be a rough pub on every high street. Where have they all gone?!?

Well, the first rule…

We were actually talking about this the other day. There used to be a rough pub on every high street. Where have they all gone?!?

There are 5 within 5 minutes walk of where I work. All in the town centre & non I would walk into after 2pm on any day let alone weekends

Engineering a fight with only other old blokes would probably a good plan. Any chance of a youngun or two in the mix could go wrong – they have not yet learnt it hurts in the morning so are a bit too brave and as already said play to a different set of rules and get a bit stabby early doors.

In the 80’s I witnessed a fight between two grown men  whereby  one  of the protagonists declared the other to be  “a son of a mountain goat” before carefully weighing up the weapons he held in either hand, discarding the glass bottle of Tonic Wine and stabbing his opponent repeatedly with a Madeira cake.

You just don’t get that these days.

Just sign up for UWCB with the other middle aged IT guys?

That’s what I did, and it was mega – thoroughly recommended. 🙂

Had maybe three or four proper fights all before the age of 21.
Won 2, lost 2, I’d say.
It’s often the small things that make a big difference – for one that I lost, I was wearing a tight jacket, so couldn’t punch properly.
Couldn’t do it now though, far too old and fragile.
Watch Knuckle on YouTube – they have Irish grandads fighting on that!

We were actually talking about this the other day. There used to be a rough pub on every high street. Where have they all gone?!?

Ours was was knocked down and replaced with some social housing flats.  So, exactly the same principal without having to pay a barman.

Had a few when I was younger. Proper gnarly ones with any weapon close to hand used to inflict pain.

We’re both grown up now though and I get on with my sister quite well these days.

Forget about it OP. It can ruin your life.

In the 80’s I witnessed a fight between two grown men whereby one of the protagonists declared the other to be “a son of a mountain goat” before carefully weighing up the weapons he held in either hand, discarding the glass bottle of Tonic Wine and stabbing his opponent repeatedly with a Madeira cake.

You just don’t get that these days.

I dunno, I saw a slice of madeira cake just the other day. You may have to look a little harder, but it’s still there if you want it enough.

I used to enjoy a good punch up. Always had few ales in me at the time which dulled the pain. Wouldn’t recommend it over 40 as aches and pains last way longer !!

There’s this TV programme, “Fight Camera Action” – shows fights in all sorts of places caught on camera. Quite common these days. There’s only one thing you can take from the programme – people in fights look really really stupid.

Unless you are a pro, very experienced or bonkers, you really really don’t want to be in a ‘proper’ fight.

We were actually talking about this the other day. There used to be a rough pub on every high street. Where have they all gone?!?

They relocated all of them to my home town, dunstable 😉

I’ve been in 2 or 3 fights,

I’m crap at fighting, I always come out worse.

Been injured far worse crashing my bike tho

OP
Are you a Geezer?

Geezers need Excitement

Out the club about three, to the take-away
The shit-in-a-tray merchants, shops got special perchant for the disorderly
Geezerz looking ordinary and a few looking leary
Chips fly round the sound of the latest chart entry
An incendiary waiting to blast
No harm with the contest who can throw the furthest
Behind the counter they look nervous, but
Carry on cutting the finest cuts of chicken from the big spinning stick
Then over flies a chip, flips, and hits you on the back
You spin round on the attack
‘F*** you playing at? he looks like a cheshire cat, almost falls down
Your frowns and superman eye lasers don’t even register
By now you want to leather this ****
And forever your gonna regret that, your choice of path
So mash his head up and your girls now fed up
But stop to think and it’s never gonna be the Jackie Chan scene it could have been to end up

I’m also 50 have only ever been in a proper fight once. Well I say fight it was more having the crap beaten out of me by the local 25 year old ‘ard man in his Vaxhall Corsa with all the extra trimmings who decided he didn’t like the look of a sixteen year old with long hair. Luckily it was the eighties and big baggy coats were the in thing so most of his kicks didn’t hurt that much.

If you want a proper fight, have one. But don’t pick on a stranger as that will mean either…

A) You beat some poor sod who doesn’t deserve it up, or
B) You just curl up on the floor and cover your head while someone stomps on you.

Instead, find a friend who’s also up for it. No weapons and set a safe word. Then go for it. The fight will go on for longer, be safer and you’ll learn more.

Join a boxing club if you have the urge for toe to toe fisticuffs. Most fights now seem to result in stabbing or mass head stomping. I had an apprentice whose mate had a straightener in a pub car park. Old fashioned one on one sort it out type of fight. The looser came back in drug dealer dads Range Rover and ran the winner over several times and killed him. One very unhappy apprentice for a long time. He was laid off as it messed with his head and then work. Very sad end all round.

Ok, so I’m 50 and never been in a proper fight.

…apart from that one you got into with Ling?

I would say you have done well, and be proud of that. Fighting is ugly and really dangerous, some people don’t know when to stop, and if your on the deck being stamped on then that is really not good, the NHS is no longer to be relied upon.
That said, I had a very tearful 18yr old daughter recently, who was dumped by her boyfriend, she wanted her clothes and stuff back from his house, so I said come on lets go and get it. He wasn’t there and he was hanging around in the park with 5 of his mates, in the meantime he was sending obscene texts to my girl, which started to wind me up. I just stormed into the middle of them without thinking, and then noticing that at least two of them were a bit tasty. I did my “are we going to sort this out like normal people?” only for his old man to appear, giving loads of mouth. I could never have won any fight, would have probably hurt maybe two of them by going in real quick, but then it just would have been madness.
I am an ex squaddie, who would always be in a fight, Colchester on a weekend springs to mind, being in the back of a 4 tonner driven by a couple of MP’s.
I have broken my nose twice and had 3 ribs broken.
My current wife abhors violence and I think actually she is right.
If your going to do it, learn to do it properly, join a gym and learn to be quick, which at 50+ is unrealistic. Stick to yoga.
Or as my mom would say” a good run is better than a bad stand”

We’re both grown up now though and I get on with my sister quite well these days.

Broke my sister’s nose when we were kids, somethg she continually reminds me of 50 years later 😳😳

Nothing glamorous about fighting.

I’ve always had a decent radar and have been content to weave my way through trouble rather than look for it. I found out in my twenties that I don’t have the capacity for casual violence – I.e. if I’m put in a situation where punches are thrown then I’m likely to not just throw punches. Not a good thing. For me or anyone else.

Plus you’d be surprised how much of a difference your age and lack of experience makes. Join an MMA, boxing or judo club if you are genuinely curious.

Sparred at local boxing club a few times. Got punched in the nose..it hurt..alot.

How about a stw fight club? I’d be well up for that. As long as we have tj as ref and I don’t have to fight ton.

How about a stw fight club?

There might already be one but no-one’s said anything.