Apparently, I have to fill in an online form if my laptop is stolen or ‘unlocated’ 🙂

I love that word, I’m going to start using it ironically. As in, if I read any more of these ridiculous neologisms I’m going to unlocate my rag.

In a foreigners say the funniest things vein,according to my Spanish friend I ride a “countryside bicycle.”
I like that.

I was informed I had “committed a violation” in the States once. 😯

“It is with great excitement at this time that we announce the hiring of a Pastor to lead us.”

“We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time.”

What is it for?!

What is it for?!

If you’re asking what your exclamation mark is for, I have no idea.

I’ll add to the pompous silliness of language the now overdone “going forward”. Well, we can’t go backwards, now can we?

Moral Turpitude. Always wondered if this was a trick question as I had (and still have) no idea what it is. I could manage the 1933-1945 bit. I was nowhere near Nuremburg.

“We reached out to”

*fumes*

My favo(u)rite Americanism:

Pilot: “We will be airborne momentarily”
Me: “I was hoping to be airborne for quite a while” 😐

“We reached out to”

*fumes*

This.

Makes me want to reach out and strangle someone.

OP I think that – you “mis-spoke” – is my personal bug bear.

AArrrr it’s lied, lied, lied!!!

I’ll add to the pompous silliness of language the now overdone “going forward”.

It is a bit silly, but just a modern version of “henceforth” or “henceforward”.

Mis-spoke is actually reasonable. It’s when you mean to say one thing but say something else, or it came out wrongly somehow.

If you have to issue an apology in a formal situation, saying ‘that came out wrong’ isn’t really ideal.

The word ‘solutionising’. WTF does heat treating aluminium have to do with working out a solution to a problem.
They have stopped using this at work after I lost it one day and explained the error of their ways.
Just say what you mean clearly and concisely, using the perfectly adequate English language. 👿

There is no noun that cannot be verbed.

“Driving”. That’s all. Everybody “drives” something at work. I hate it.

There is no noun that cannot be verbed.

Nor is there a verb that cannot be nouned. It’s a good thing IMO. Yes, painful ones come up every so often, but they get left by the wayside if people don’t pick them up and run with them. The useful ones hang around.

There is no noun that cannot be verbed.

“mis-spoke” is only just OK if you have just said something. However Americans use it when they have said a clear “un-truth” (another one!). It’s used like a polite deflection of the facts.

was in Atlanta a few years back an American weather presenter doing the report said that there was a 60% liklehood of “liquid precipitate”

which is of course easier than saying rain 😆
That made me chuckle

There is actually a list of crimes that count as moral turpitude.

I know this because I always get grilled when I go to the US on account of having a visa. If you had committed a crime of moral turpitude, they might require you to get a visa – hence the grilling.

A bit annoying since I had to pay money, get letters from my employer, and queue at the US Embassy to get a visa for a long hiking trip. But at least I eventually found out why they treat me like a dodgy criminal.

Terpsichorean ecdysiast. Not a commonly used business term, but I first heard it in one of the M*A*S*H books and thought it was a great term.

“Driving”. That’s all. Everybody “drives” something at work. I hate it.

Well, you would go and take that job at Eddie Stobart.

I always wanted to tick yes for me committing war crimes in WW2. I have a feeling they’ll have no sense of humour about it. I REALLY would like to know how many commies/morally turpituded (I know it’s not a word)/war criminals they catch this way

British police seem to have a habit of using overly officious language to describe simple things, if the “police Camera Action” type things my wife watches are anything to go by e.g.

“We proceeded to the location on foot” instead of “we walked there”.

Just the Yanks huh ?

The UK habit of needlessly inserting “actual” or “actually” into sentences should be on the list of Moral Turpitude offences.

Molgrips has (actually) demonstrated it for us in his post.

It’s up there with pronouncing the t in often and saying “pacific” when you mean “specific”.

I think that’s a habit though – lots of professions have a strictly defined vocabulary so that there can’t be any of the usual misunderstandings and implications we get in everyday speech.

I REALLY would like to know how many commies/morally turpituded (I know it’s not a word)/war criminals they catch this way

As previously discussed at length, it’s not that they are trying to get you to confess, or that this is actually an effort to screen war criminals; it’s to give a legal get-out clause if they want you out of the country. Convicting someone of war crimes to get them out of the country would be a long costly difficult legal battle, but this way all they need to ‘convict’ you of is lying on the visa waiver form which would be a lot easier, and more difficult to refute.

Just the Yanks huh ?

Hell no.. bad language is not exclusive to the Americans of course, but they have a particular style of making up complex terms for simple words to sound more official and serious.

I had to go and Wiki moral turpitude. Turns out to be quite a long list of crimes.

My favourite was mayhem, which I also had to wiki, turns out to be the act of maiming. Removing someone’s limb or eye so they can not defend themselves. Removing an ear or nose does not constitute mayhem.

Every day’s a school day on STW.

Still time for a Ninja edit, Molgrips.

Still time for a Ninja edit, Molgrips.

What, because I used ‘actually’?

It’s up there with pronouncing the t in often and saying “pacific” when you mean “specific”.

No it’s not, actually. The latter is actually wrong, a malopropism actually, but the use of ‘actually’ can actually be justified.

As previously discussed at length, it’s not that they are trying to get you to confess, or that this is actually an effort to screen war criminals; it’s to give a legal get-out clause if they want you out of the country. Convicting someone of war crimes to get them out of the country would be a long costly difficult legal battle, but this way all they need to ‘convict’ you of is lying on the visa waiver form which would be a lot easier, and more difficult to refute.

By “catch” I mean how many people admit it. If you’re, say, Mladic, I would bet they have you on a list anyway.

Not helping your case by misspelling “malapropism” either. Just FYI. Still time.

A simple spelling mistake is nothing like inventing words for effect.

“transportation”

DOES NOT NEED the “ation”.

Bloody ‘merkuns.

a thread the other day used the term ‘comprimisation’.

I always wanted to tick yes for me committing war crimes in WW2. I have a feeling they’ll have no sense of humour about it.

Guaranteed massive sense of humour failure, no doubt about it.

it’s to give a legal get-out clause if they want you out of the country

Can’t they just put “R.O.A.R.” on the visa like they (used to?) do on nightclub flyers? 😀

working for a large US multi-national I think I’m quite immune to this type of language.
however new ones do crop up that get me WTFing:
– thought leadership (ugh)
– gamification (the concept is sound but not the word)
– incubating an idea (gah)
– leverage (an oldie but still boils my proverbial)

I fail to see why American English needs to be compared and ridiculed against English. They’re completely different dictionaries. Who cares if it stemmed from here. (England) After 200 years, I think it can stand on its own. It doesn’t have to make sense to you and who cares if you like it or not if you’re not an American.
All languages evolve with time. Even French has had to change in line with modern culture. You can imagine how that goes down with Francophonie.

I agree completely.

As long as you have no problems with the whipping of those who use American English words or phrases where a sutable English phrase already exists?

I work for a US company so I hear a lot of it. It grates sometimes but TBH I don’t have much of a problem with it really because it’s rarely used to sound officious or to attempt to appear cleverer/more important IME – it’s just ‘business speak’.

I find it far more annoying when people over here try and posh up things by talking about ‘myself’ and ‘yourself’.