Official way of measuring the old todger…?

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  • Official way of measuring the old todger…?
  • Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Buying a dropper post?

    smell_it
    Member

    I’m not sure taking a photo of your ‘angry’ cock alongside a child’s hand will ensure dating success or a life outside of prison
    🤔

    Premier Icon simmy
    Subscriber

    This is reason you should never get a ” lady friend ” a sandwich from Subway, they will then realise the correct measurements of 6″ and footlong.

    This is reason you should never get a ” lady friend ” a sandwich from Subway, they will then realise the correct measurements of 6″ and footlong.

    On the upside, they will think it is perfectly  normal for meatballs to smell manky

    drlex
    Member

    suburbanreuben’s post reminds me that John Bindon used to drink in the pub opposite when I lived in town; there was apparently a picture held safe in a bank of him and the Queen’s sister that featured her holding his chap on which was piled a few stacks of two bob bits.

    On that basis, the royal measurement is ten pence pieces laid in a row along the top.

    HTH

    (Or should that be HRH)

    Anyone else thinking about a Moots seatpost image?

    johnx2
    Member

    So no one’s said yet, twelve inches, but I don’t use it, as a rule?

    Premier Icon theotherjonv
    Subscriber

    People were often confused about the size of Jeremy Beadle’s todger. People used to say that on one hand it looked average sized, but on the other it looked enormous.

    FunkyDunc
    Member

    “Don’t measure, just get a picture of it next to one of them mini coke cans

    or a kids hand

    cant remember who I stole this from,”

    Jimmy Savile?

    Same way you measure a Cats tail……from its asshole

    Premier Icon funkrodent
    Subscriber

    Many moons ago one of the lads mags (probably Loaded) did an article ‘re pork stars and various length/girth stats. Helpfully they printed a ruler with markings showing where various stars, such as Ron Jeremy (Not that far iirc) of the genre got up to (phnar, phnar). They explained that the measurement was along the top. Naturally it fell upon me to see how I measured up to these legends of the dark arts (having the lights off helps if you’re prone to artistic licence). The results where most disappointing. Until I realised that said printed ruler wasn’t to scale and I was able to conduct the experiment (helped now by then girlfriend) again, under proper scientific conditions, with marginally better results. Naturally I wrote to the magazine to complain and the b*st*rds only went and printed it..

    EDIT – was going to edit “Pork” but on reflection it seems to be quite fitting..

Viewing 12 posts - 41 through 52 (of 52 total)

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