Not the usual, “somebody ate my yoghurt” issue today,
The ‘Office’ decided that it might be a good idea to defrost the fridge, the freezer box is only a memory.

So how does the average office worker defrost the fridge?

I’ll give you all ten minutes to think up a daft plan and come back to you with the answer.

230v fan heater from under someone’s desk, put in fridge, shut door. Am I close?

Bedmats.

The kind you put on little kids mattresses in case of nocturnal accidents.

Empty the fridge, put a bedmat in the bottom and another on the floor underneath the door.

Keep an eye on it, remove any large chunks of ice which come loose and change the mats when they’re saturated.

Job jobbed.

So how does the average office worker defrost the fridge?

Switch off fridge last thing Friday.

Hope the cleaners have got it sorted out by start of business Monday.

Pour boiling water from the kettle into it?

Fire staples into it.

Put a container of boiling hot water inside the fridge, close the door and wait for the tidal wave

Better be a blooming good gift to this competition

Attack with stanley knife – putting hole in side wall of fridge, +bonus feature of hacking half their finger off?

Ask every female in the building to donate a ladies sanitary item. (Then the fridge can go swimming all day, ride a horse, then go clubbing until 0500 wearing white trousers.)

Delegate the defrosting and the cleaning up task

Sachets of salt

Actually, I’m going with they’ve decided to put it outside.

This is also the answer for what to do with those who steal other people’s food from the communal fridge.

First you need a meeting

Then you need an announcement

Then you give warning of when it will happen

Plan a contingency fridge

On said date switch fridge off for 24 hrs

Don’t forget the risk assessment..

Put the fridge on its back (still plugged in and switched on), fill with warm water from tap / kettles, pick out lumps of ice as they float to the top whilst fishing for chunks of mouldy bread bobbing about on the top amidst a layer of humous scum?

If things get too bad post defrost fridges make excellent office lifeboats;

the-muffin-man – Member
Attack with stanley knife – putting hole in side wall of fridge, +bonus feature of hacking half their finger off?

half a point to the-muffin-man.

Answer: Bring in a reciprocating saw and set at it, cutting a hole through the fridge.

EDIT: no fingers yet missing, pride gone in place of ridicule.

Sensible answer;

If there’s a shower in your work place put the fridge in there with the door open for the weekend.

Make Sarah from account cry into said fridge as she tells a story about her weight and confidence problems? Salty warm tears for the win every time.

Cover the inside walls with jam,then tether 6 wasps together on short bits of string.
Attatch one string line to the bottom of the fridge with a weight,then close the door.
As the wasps fly round trying to reach the jam,the air fom their wings will defrost the fridge very slowly.
Open the door now and again to let them breathe and remove melt water.

the culprit is not willing to pose with the saw and fridge for a pic.

:o(

Should have got a short fat bald accountant to talk into it. We have one here if you need one.

just printed ^^ to put on his desk.

We throw ours out into the sunken garden and hope nobody nicks it. And if it gets nicked, well, we just order a new one and hope nobody notices.

First you need a meeting

Then you need an announcement

Then you give warning of when it will happen

Plan a contingency fridge

On said date switch fridge off for 24 hrs
Bring in a suitable consultant, to advise how to defrost the fridge.

Get H&S and Occy Health to write a detailed risk assessment.

Form a short span working group to write some Standard Operating Procedures for how to defrost the fridge.

Put the whole event through a value engineering process.

Decide that this is beyond the remit of all staff, and that three members of staff should go for fridge defrosting training.

Eventually, sub-contract out the technical work to a specialist company who drive the length of the UK, stay overnight and work in three’s ‘for health and safety reasons’ at all times.

The contractor advises it is an old model fridge, and this needs replacing.

Someone calls the council to upload the old fridge, who refuse and direct the company to a recycling organisation, who require permission to be on site.

A new fridge is bought and installed by a specialist catering company, who charge had a squillion pounds for a cheap Bendix fridge.

FTFY.

to everyone who thinks

Get H&S and Occy Health to write a detailed risk assessment

is over the top. i refer you to the actual events.

🙄

Answer: Bring in a reciprocating saw and set at it, cutting a hole through the fridge.

that’s what actually happened 😯

blimey.

So the serious answer is that someone cut a hole in the fridge?

Why?

to let the water out, durrrr 🙄

is over the top. i refer you to the actual events.

😀 😆 😆 😆

If *proper* procedure had been followed… 😉

I type that taking a break from writing an article on reducing teacher workload from risk assessments, parent permissions and associated paperwork… 😳

I’m surprised not one has suggested the “Nuke from orbit” option yet.