I’ve had a couple of short term, no strings, work based relationships. But here’s the catch… they were short term and we both knew they would be.

I’ll give you different advice from all the rest. Take her out for dinner on a proper date with lots of nice wine. Then you’ll be able to decide one of 3 things :
1) No strings are go – get in!
2) Let’s go home alone before it goes pear shaped
3) Actually strings may not be a such a bad idea.

Aargh – enough with the “regret something you haven’t done” brigade, who clearly have never made any extremely poor decisions.

You have quite clearly never seen some of my decisions. I once moved to the Middle East because I was getting annoyed having to ride up the big hill outside my house.

Don’t even get me started on past relationships 😉

don’t meet the kids until you are ready (never in a no-strings jobbie?)

This – and never let yourself be referred to as ‘uncle woodie’

actually in retrospect that’s not so bad

I’m still on the fence. I’ve had a couple of “things” at work, both ended badly, in both cases because the female was properly mental…the work thing is what would put me off.

On the other hand I’ve no strings a few times and mostly it’s all gone fine, but watch out for the warning signs.

next thread – list of top 10 warning signs?

Weight over the bottom bracket and feather the brakes 😉

It’s easy for some to emotionally deal with no-strings and not for others. We don’t always know which we are as it varies with the other person involved. It could all go wonderfully well, or you may end up adding another kid to her life and becoming her baby daddy. This again may end up being fine in the end.

Don’t meet the kids if it’s a proper no-strings. They may bond with you and wonder why this new man keeps spending time with their mum. Keep the control 50:50 in the situation. No videos (unless you got mad skillz).

This will definitely change things at work. It can go either way. I personally find it hard to separate fun and connection. Emotionally things snowball for me, but I know this. 7 years later and the hot girl I was seeing lives with me and we are talking about kids and mortgages. I don’t have the emotional capacity for stringless flings.

Unfortunately the STW massive can only speculate and amuse you. The kids really add another dimension to this, even more so than work in my eyes. However, it could result in some awesome GoPro footage and a good old fashioned roll in the hay.

Excellent topic by the way.

Double post fail 🙁

I’m sure these things have been said already, but don’t have time to read all the posts:

One thing to consider is that after a while, your attitude to her may change.

You may realise that you would like it to move on to a “proper” relationship, because she isn’t like your ex, and your previous ideas of “absolute no no’s” are actually acceptable and preferable now.

Because she is a different person entirely to the person who you were with before.

But you won’t know if you don’t give it a try ??

As long as you are able to communicate with each other openly and honestly throughout, then I really can’t see an issue with it. It’s lies and deceit that mess things up and cause bad feelings/ bad break ups.

Talk to her about it.

Also, it does seem that because you are thinking about it so much, and asking for advice etc. That you are actually looking at as more than “no strings” yourself. You may just not realise it ?

The last time I was offered the same arrangement, I bunked off work straight away and went out to buy new bedsheets and a couple of bottles of wine. Didn’t have to think about it for a second

leffeboy – Member
next thread – list of top 10 warning signs?

Not sure I could narrow it down 😎

nealglover

As long as you are able to communicate with each other openly and honestly throughout*, then I really can’t see an issue with it. It’s lies and deceit that mess things up and cause bad feelings/ bad break ups.**

The last time I was offered the same arrangement, I bunked off work straight away and went out to buy new bedsheets***

*I think that’s the issue
** yes
*** this must be where I am going wrang

ask on mumsnet.

Kev

Aargh – enough with the “regret something you haven’t done” brigade, who clearly have never made any extremely poor decisions.

As a man of low moral fibre, I’d say regret things you haven’t done, or HAVE done more than once…

don’t sh*t on your own doorstep.

enough with the “regret something you haven’t done” brigade, who clearly have never made any extremely poor decisions

Lol, is all I have to say about that!

don’t sh*t on your own doorstep.

Not just before she comes round for no strings sex at least.

Don’t be daft woody…as Drac says.

Way too close a working environment mate…seen lots of fallout from this sort of carry on.

Lasts for years and certainly makes one or both persons life hell…and its usually the blokes. People who sit in a vehicle for 12 hrs of the day….like to discuss things…you’d end up looking the guilty one – whatever the strings!

Use a toilet and not a doorstep. Much more comfortable and hygenic.

MAN TRAP. RUN

ask on mumsnet.

excellent suggestion

Most amusing thread – apologies to the OP if that’s not quite cricket. Although for a thread of this type the OPs handle is enough for the fnar fnar brigade to break out in a fit of tittering.

What is so wrong with having any sort of relationship with someone at work? Who knows what it will turn out like. The worst case, as has been mentioned above, is that work becomes a bit of grim place for a few days and your colleagues may rip you for quite some time when they find out. 🙂

your colleagues may rip you for quite some time when they find out.

But chances are, whilst secretly quite jealous…

Tony Soprano had it right. “Don’t sh#t where you eat”.

I’d run a mile if I were you. I’ve seen people sacked when work relationships have gone wrong, and this one sounds primed to go belly up.

Don’t do the crew.

Stanadards are slipping on here.

All these replies & no mention of back doors…

Or flash grenades…

Or tradesmans..

Or shock and awe…

Although as someone else pointed out, if you can ‘get your foot’ in her ‘door’, you may not want to bother…

No strings sounds great, doesn’t it?
But it isn’t only women it can be difficult for.
I’m in my second relationship which was meant to be no strings, and light relief from where we were.
In the first one we both got emotionally involved but more her, and the end was not nice or kind.
In the second one we have both got emotionally involved… But this time it is probably me going to get my heart handed to me on a plate.

I envy people who can do this. Good luck.

All these people talking about “don’t s**t on you own doorstep” etc.

That advice is great, if you are cheating on your wife/husband.

Doesn’t apply so well when both people are single and have nothing to hide from anyone.

Lots of relationships start at work. And some end. That’s life.

But unless one of the involved people is married, what’s the big deal ??

“no strings attached”

No such thing!

There is no such thing as a free meal.

I had a ‘no strings’ fling with a guy a few years ago, but I had to end it as he was the one getting more attached. He became a bit annoying in the end as he started turning up at my house. I wasn’t wanting a relationship, as i had just been in one.
He never met my children or got involved in my family life, which was fine by me.

It can work if you both want the same thing, but therein lies the question/problem.

Update

Had a long chat tonight and for once my brain ruled. Couple of things rung more alarm bells on the txt’s today so in the end it was a fairly easy decision to avoid future hassle. Work problems was my ‘get-out’ which she fully appreciated, so all’s well that ends well.

All I have to do now is avoid work related piss ups as her parting words were that on the next one she’s going to get me drunk and do something involving brain removal. 😆

Thanks for all the comments and advice, most entertaining!

You think that’s the end? Unless you are saved by an ape with less scruples than yourself this is going to nag away at you until you a more cunning lady worms her way into your life (assuming this one doesn’t eventually succeed). Keep us posted please, pretty please… . 8)

She might back off if you are a bit more honest !

She probably thinks you are just playing hard to get, and go on admit it, you like the flattery and attention.

“work issues” suggests that it is nothing personal…

Let’s hope she doesn’t hand in her notice and turn up on your doorstep.

I think you’re daft. Life is hard enough – if she’s keen on you, and you’re keen on her, give it a whirl. If it goes wrong, so be it. There’s really no “worst” that can happen unless you’re not prepared for things to develop beyond no-strings….cos that’s highly likely.

Man The …

-Think of the kids.

Well done, Woody . . . especially as, reading between the lines, she sounds a rather scheming woman!

(BTW – that’s not a tautology 😉 )

own her with bombers.

Woody – unless you find her repulsive, you will sleep with her… maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow…

You’ve given her a challenge, you are the hunted.