Wrong ‘Un detected! *klaxon*

In Greggs I regularly used to loudly proclaim “tomato ketchup” please.

Christ what abomination of bolognese is that photo? No wonder it needs ketchup.

This, looks horrific.

Red sauce is almost as bad as talking about “fizzy pop” for soft drinks.

I also eat the entire kiwi fruit, except the really tough bit on the end, but I certainly eat the skin, it’s really nice.

If you put the cream on first it significantly reduces the chances of contaminating the cream with jam and thereby rendering it unsuitable for dolopping atop your espresso.

Use two knifes. Do I have to think of everything? (-:

If you’re physically able to spread jam on top of cream without it splatting everywhere, you clearly have insufficient cream. Jam on first for this reason.

Red sauce is almost as bad as talking about “fizzy pop” for soft drinks.

It’s a slippery slope for sure. Yellow sauce with your dessert, sir? Lamb and green sauce?

Mmmmm. Greeeeen Såååååååssss.

To be fair, you can have white sauce, so why not green, yellow or red?

I would draw the line at blue.

Folk who hold a knife like a pen…

when you put the lid/base on

WTF ?? – it’s not a sandwich ! You’re halving the amount of cream’n’jam you’re getting there and, even then, squirting most of what’s there over your shirt as you try to eat the thing like a burger.

You put the least runny substance on first, obvzzzz. That’s cream in my house but your cream/jam may differ. Or you may just be a wrong’un

Pizza usually has tomato sauce on it. Do do you mean ketchup?

<just to irritate Cougar>

I think he means Catsup.

@anagallis isn’t the black bit in the bottom/ top (if you are weird like Matt) a seed? if not consider me shocked

I thinks its what would be a seed but bananas are infertile – so technically its an ‘ovule’

The black bits down the middle are where the seeds should be but commercial bananas are triploid so cant do meiosis. Almost all are the same variety too and they are currently under threat by some disease thats spreading around the world.

Eating all the apple, the pips are poisonous as they contain cyanide or arsenic or something else really poisonous 1 is OK, 2 and you need to go see a

Apple pips do contain cyanide, but you would need to eat around 40 apples for it to have any significance. I’m another whole fruit eater, apples and kiwis.

Apricot kernels on the other hand, a couple of fresh ones could potentially be serious.

Matt

Back when the only starter options were corn on the cob, prawn cocktail or a glass of orange juice on a doily, I opted for the corn on the cob. I ate the corn, then I ate the cob (I was around 8 years old)

Apple pips do contain cyanide, but you would need to eat around 40 apples

I’ve easily eaten more than that since 1967, might explain a few things though

Apple pips do contain cyanide, but you would need to eat around 40 apples for it to have any significance.

If you eat a lot of them over a month or so the Cyanide builds up and concentrates in your system like those animals that eat poisonous plants to build up the toxins. There was an episode of Columbo based on this where a woman dies after spending a night of passion with someone. Episode was called Core Blimey! I think.

On the scone thing..

With butter and jam everyone accepts the butter goes first, so why would you changes this when you have clotted cream?

Ketchup? Catsup?

I eat kiwi fruit whole which some people seem to think is a little odd.

Yes! Me too. I’m no longer a lonely freak.

People who eat pizzas or burgers with a knife and fork are not to be trusted.

On the scone thing..

With butter and jam everyone accepts the butter goes first, so why would you changes this when you have clotted cream?

Because butter is spread on, cream is applied in spoonfuls

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On the scone thing..

With butter and jam everyone accepts the butter goes first, so why would you changes this when you have clotted cream?

Because cream isn’t butter?

I have a small amount of butter spread over my scones, followed by jam. I have a frankly huge amount of clotted cream. The jam wouldn’t balance on it. 😁

Just tried opening a banana from the non-stalk end.

It’s wrong

People who eat pizzas or burgers with a knife and fork are not to be trusted.

Except those ridiculous gourmet burgers that are stuffed full of shit that has no place in a burger and just fall apart when you try and eat them. FFS, it’s meant to be a meat sandwich that you can pick up and eat without it falling apart.

Woah!

Who said cream was the substitute for butter?

Butter.
Then jam.
Then cream.
Surely?

Who needs arteries.

In Greggs I regularly used to loudly proclaim “tomato ketchup” please.

You’ve just reminded me of a friend on a bike touring trip in mid-Wales, years ago. He became apoplectic after being corrected several times by the waitress in a cafe.

Him : Can I have sos please?

Her : Sos? You mean sauce?

Repeat until very red in the face.

(Sos is the Welsh pronunciation.As in sosban.)