We called one Dr Sex – because we thought he must be a virgin…
IG88 – she was very tall and really skinny.
Rubber Lips – he have massive lips and used to spit when he talked.
Quimbo – an unoriginal take on his name. A really lovely guy, who died very young…
Tray Lady – a short teacher with a very large chest. Nicknamed by the girls who were sure she could rest her coffee mug on them. Actually, another very lovely person.
Scouse Git. He was from Liverpool and yes, he looked like one of the scousers from Harry Enfield – including the track suit!
70’s Playboy – still wearing Paisley shirts, wide & loud ties and flares in 1987. By 1989 he was almost fashionable again.

Lid: really bad comb over and bounced when he walked, and it would flap like a boiling pan lid

Nemo: deputy Head, full white beard, he shaved it off eventually (made no difference)

Benny: Mr Hill (maths)

Organ: Mr Hammond (english)

Oh, and Pob: Mr Greaves (another english teacher) massively sticky out ears and gingery hair (if you’re not a kid of the 70’s, google it) whole corridors of kids would sing the theme tune at him, poor bloke…

Chemistry teacher called Mr Pyle – of course it was transposed to ‘p***ed a mile’.

We had:
Shoestair-the English teacher who could never look at you in the face also took an unhealthy interest in the boys in the shower room
Scrag- The old female French teacher
Blaster (Bates)
Hitler-becuase of his choice of nose ferret
Sweaty Betty- The lab assistant
Motters
Ma
Whirr
Jessie (James)
The prof

And the head had the name Bengo (apparently named after a dog from a newspaper cartoon that followed everyone around aimlessly). In fact all the teachers called him that too and my father always likes recalling an event at a PTA evening when a new parent greeted him with the immortal line ‘Ah! Mr. Bengo I presume!’

I went to a pretty liberal junior school where all the masters had nicknames and everyone referred to them using them including the other masters.

Our deputy headmaster and physics teacher was called Mr Ritchie.

For years I never understood his nickname Maboza, until one day when he was tending a lunch queue. The penny suddenly dropped and I was helpless with laughter in an otherwise silent and orderly line when he approached to find out what all the fuss was about.

He was decent bloke who wrote our Nat Phil series of text books and who played a mean double bass in the school orchestra.

Looking back, it was like something out of the Beano, but it is 35 years since my A levels. The ones I can remember are
Pike
Basher
Goldenballs
Rubber Lips
Nooky Bear

And my Dad who taught at the school was nicknamed Benny. I was never sure why. In the first year I was taken under the wing of some 5th year headbangers from the local Barnados and they didn’t know either but thought it was either because his initial was B and back in the mists of time someone had made up a matching name (Brian is less impressive) or because he had a reputation for eccentricity combined with a short fuse/unspoken threat of violence as in ‘having a benny’ on someone. Might be a Shropshire thing…

didn’t really have nicknames, but Swifty (Mr Swift), the headmaster, used to be called Batman (due to the profile of his cape when he walked on stage for assembly)

at uni there was Frank the Wa*k which in hindsight was a bit cruel. Francis became Frances over the vacation one year.

TT. Shortened from Torpedo Tits. This was in the 60s when well-endowed women wore conical bras. And she was a well-endowed woman.

Clank. He had (what’s called now) cerebral palsy and wore a caliper on his leg.

Man Tom. By far the most imaginative. We had two teachers with the surname Thomas. One had a PhD and was called Doc Tom. The other didn’t so was Man Tom.

‘Mad Man’ Moore
‘Bummer’ Pearson (allegedly)
‘Daddy’ Ford
‘Death Breath’ Hoskins
‘Buck’ Rogers
‘Cozy’ Powell
‘Shakespeare’ Hughes
‘Bobby’ Branch
‘Farmer’ Webley
‘Granny’ Pearson
‘Billy Goat’ Robinson
‘Noddy’ Horne
‘Willy’ Rishton
‘Jimmy Tarbuck’ Pitchforth
and ‘Aspirin Annie’, the school Matron.

I was Dr Evil at one school. Was happy with that!

mcmoonter
Our deputy headmaster and physics teacher was called Mr Ritchie.
For years I never understood his nickname Maboza,

I had a physics teacher called Mabawzer as well. He wasn’t a deputy head though. Where did you go to school?

e he had a reputation for eccentricity combined with a short fuse/unspoken threat of violence as in ‘having a benny’ on someone. Might be a Shropshire thing…

“throwing a Benny” isn’t geographic, it’s a Crossroads reference.

We had a “Charlie Scruff” and a Basil Fawlty. One English teacher used to wear checked trousers so he became Rupert Bear. A German teacher had a disdain for canines so he get called Dog. Headmaster was simply The Sheriff.
And we had a Dr De’Ath

You didn’t mention ‘Crow’ I remember we counted the number of times he paced up and down the chemistry lab and he covered nearly a mile in a double lesson. His wife’s home-made bras were legend.
When did you leave I finished A-Levels in 1990.

98, so a wee bit after you. What was Crow’s surname, struggling to remember! Fruity Frew and Miss Guard-yer-Arse were long-standing ones as well.

Pinky
Rio
Mr Potato Head
Skippy
Fat Doc

And some crazy dude who gave pupils nicknames, mostly based on their initials – one of my friends has initials WT = wireless telegraphy was his nickname – WTF?

Great thread,
Fat Jake, headmaster
Granny Clark,
Dougie the creep,
Frankie,
Womble,
Pinky shortened from Pink Panther,
Bomber Beasly,
Iron Balls,
Gay Cavalier,
Mad Alfie,
Melchie,
No Joke, always said “It’s no joke lad”
Foreskin Joe,
Wee Harry,

i went to a comp in the 80’s that used to be a a half decent grammar school until the 70’s, but had gone down hill fast and was pretty rough & tumble when they had the pleasure of my tenure. some of the old grammar school teaching fraternity were still there in my day, including our maths teacher who still wore his gown.

anyhow, our English / English lit teacher (one of the old school) was called Seb Reese-Hartley, a good upper middle class, stiff upper lip, straight back, mourning the loss of the empire still, type.

we all assumed his first name was Sebastian (an inconceivably posh name to us council estate scrotes). Imagine our joy in the 3rd year when someone found out that Seb was actually short for Sebastical (i’m assuming it’s some reference to the classics).

Overnight his nickname became ‘Testi’ which later developed into ‘Two-Balls’ to reflect his hyphenated surname, which had morphed into ‘ball-sack’ by the time i left.

thing is, he was a decent teacher compared to some of the sadists we had, but we gave him ultimate shit because of his name

we also had our PE teacher Mr Mealyer. after rugby or football he would make sure all the boys got in the communal showers to get clean by loitering around in the changing room so no one could skip out. now i’m sure this was all perfectly above board and in the interests on hygiene and there was no hint of inpropriaty. Anyway, in the way that teenage boys will, we were convinced he was a peado (not that we really understood the term fully) and used to call him Mr Feelya. can you imagine the shit storm and headlines this sceanrio would bring these days

Brownfinger (sung to the tune of goldfinger)

98, so a wee bit after you. What was Crow’s surname, struggling to remember! Fruity Frew and Miss Guard-yer-Arse were long-standing ones as well.

Crow did leave before your time and his nickname was so ingrained that I can no longer remember his real name. He was a proper old school teacher with long black cape and a stoop hence the name crow but you would have never called him by that. In years 1-5 everyone was terrified of him but if you had him for A-Levels he loosened up and had a dry sense of humour.

We had one teacher when I was at school nicknamed ‘Peanut’ for a reason no-one knew. Over the years the nickname must have fallen out of favour.

He’s still at the school and is apparently gutted because he’s now getting pupils in whose parents went to the same school – so the parents are all saying “Ah yes, thats peanuts” when they talk about him, so it’s come back into fashion.

Still, better than “Jel”, which stood for “Jelly Neck” that another teacher used to be called.

Captain caveman, story went he was caught whacking in a cave on a school trip. Years later I met someone older who had been at the school before me and said it had happened while he was there and swears it was true.

Loads at our school but two jump to mind
Ball-scratcher Yates – games teacher that seemingly always was scratching the poor things. Must have been red raw down there

Cat-Shagger Sills – No idea why he got that nickname but every student called him that from way before my sister who’s 7 years older than me went to that school. By the time i left 6th form he’d have had that nickname at least 14 years

Not nicknames but we did have a mr Burke and a Mr Hare working in the same department.

mcmoonter
Our deputy headmaster and physics teacher was called Mr Ritchie.
For years I never understood his nickname Maboza,
I had a physics teacher called Mabawzer as well. He wasn’t a deputy head though. Where did you go to school?

Balwearie High School in Kirkcaldy

Any others recognising the school they went to?

Lid: really bad comb over and bounced when he walked, and it would flap like a boiling pan lid

Nemo: deputy Head, full white beard, he shaved it off eventually (made no difference)

Benny: Mr Hill (maths)

Organ: Mr Hammond (english

Nick C some more to add to your list, oh & Benny Hill was history & still frequents the Rifle Butts down London Road 😆

Barney Rubble

God

Kinky Kirkham

Gonf

Lippy

Scruff Taylor

& you must remember Whale’s rule = T’squared

We had a boss, surname Ritchie, in Edinburgh, for whom the sales director coined the nickname Mabossa for. Took me a while, too!!

Mr Armstrong = Stretch

Do they still make stretch armstrongs ?

Jobber (cant remember real name) if he spotted you anywhere he would find a job of somekind. Usally stacking chairs etc.

Taking a while??? I dont’t get that at all 🙁

Taking a while??? I dont’t get that at all

Mabozza Ritchie

Mah Baws Are Itchy

I was once called “nonce **nt ” by a student, he then threw a chair at me.

Only called me it the once. So not sure if it was a nickname, he did come to apologise to me later, and, told me he knew I wasn’t a nonce, but I was still a bit of **nt sometimes.

Great kids.

Doc Rock – Dr Rodgers, Geology, looked as mad as he was.

Blowjob or Gammy – Mr B.J. Roberts, P.E. , one of those old school P.E. teachers, high up in the county rugby hierarchy, always wearing a variation of the amateur era ‘Purple Nasty’ tracksuit – ‘I would show you how it’s done lads, but I’ve got a gammy leg’.

Cornelius – C.G. O’Donovan (Ire), Maths, one of those teachers that spent the first term being an absolute bastard until everyone toed the line, then slowly revealed what an awesome bloke and teacher he really was. First name Cornelius (allegedly).

Ming the Merciless – Mr Pike, Spanish – quietly spoken but giant doppleganger of Flash Gordon’s nemesis.

Flakey Jakey – Mr Hancock, Physics, had a bad skin condition after a long since banned classroom experiment blew up in his face. Wonderful man and universally loved.

Scaramanga – French, female, can’t recall her name, had a mole that in hindsight did not look that much at all like a third nipple near her neck.

Pugwash – an explosive dickhead of a business studies teacher who looked like the hapless cartoon seafarer.

Rolf – Mr Roberts, Maths, strongly resembled the celebrity paedophile. Batshit mental, very lazy. Would set the class an impossible conundrum, go to sleep, wake up at the bell to inevitable mayhem.

Conehead or Dungeon Master – Alf Sessa, English, hailing from the USA, shagged Jane Fonda before she was famous, short with a slightly pointy bald head. Drove a beautiful MGB.

Caecilius – Mr Ferris, Latin/Classics – ‘Caecilius in horto est. Caecilius in horto sedet…. and so on.

Not nicknames but we did have a mr Burke and a Mr Hare…

we had a Mr Curr

you can guess the rest 😉

Spam – an older teacher who once said that was all he had to eat during the war.
Mad Monk – a pottery teacher who had worked for a while at a monastery
Boris – physics
Crimbo – slightly dodogy games teacher

There must have been more but I cannot remember them.

At the school a friend’s son attends one of the male teachers has the nickname “paedo” as he smiles (and apparently drools) during the register when calling the names of the prettiest girls in the class.

‘Noddy’ for one of our Geography teachers. I have no idea why, but it was very unfair because the guy was a bloody good teacher and a really good person.

Ginger Dwarf – Geography Teacher
Poison Dwarf – University Statistics Lecturer