Out of interest, has anyone found anything that works on slightly deeper scratches? May have dragged a rear mech down my car getting the bike out the car. What an oaf.
Childs blood.
For the OP though, convince the children you are insane. Stand in the garden in your trunks holding a big knife for three hours just smiling slightly. Leave a few butchered chickens around the place, go out in the middle of the night and shout at the hedge. Tell it you’re sick of it’s attitude and now it’s going to pay. Once you’re happy everyone is awake and watching you, attack it with an axe.
Once the kids are convinced you’re a danger to them they’ll leave you well alone. This approach worked brilliantly for a next door neighbour of ours. he used to have loads of trouble with the kids but after a few balls they kicked in his garden which then got left in the road slashed and covered in some blood he’d got from somewhere, they left him well alone.
There is no way this plan can backfire.
