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  • New puppy causing anxiety
  • Premier Icon lawman91
    Full Member

    While I’m a long time poster here, I’ve never felt the need to properly vent or seek advise in the chat forum, and even now as I type this, I feel so pathetic for feeling this way when others go through so, so much more. But I feel lost, confused, anxious and frankly, quite scared.

    My wife and I (we got married back in October) have been together 10 years and we’ve always dreamed of having a dog. We felt it would be good for us as we are creatures of habit and set routine (myself especially) and felt a dog would be a great way to bring something new into our routine and do something different. Plus, I always thought it would make it nicer for her when I’m off on my own on the bike.

    We’ve wanted a Cairn Terrier all along pretty much, so for the last couple of years we’ve been looking around for a quality breeder. Now, we finally have our little pup, 9 weeks old and we’re completely torn. He’s a good little pup, but even though my wife works from home, I’m full time in the office and we’re wondering whether we can provide the care/training the little guy needs, not just now but in the future as well.

    We love him to bits and everyone who has met him does too, but he makes me so anxious it’s really making me worry for my own health. We’ve had him just over a week and I’ve lost nearly 2kg (and I’m not a big guy either), cried most nights, feel completely worn out and have no idea if/when it will get any better. I’ve struggled in the past with my mental health at times, and while it’s been a family joke that I struggle with change, I now realise it’s a serious issue for me and the thought of not being able to enjoy the incredible life we had before the pup is causing me to freak out and feel incredibly anxious.

    We’ve keep going back and forward whether we should take him back to the breeders so he can go to someone who can give him the care he needs and for the sake of our own health too. We should be going though such a wonderful time now post wedding and it just feels like we have no control and whether we made a seriously bad decision. I feel so selfish for feeling this way, we’re so lucky to be in the position we’re in, but my head is just spinning and I’m struggling to see a way out.

    My wife has some of the same feelings too, but they seem to come and go more than mine. She was fine for a few days and then I came home last night to her crying and for the 3rd or 4th time we had the chat over whether we’ve done the right thing or if we need to take him back. I just have no idea what to do or how to make things better for us and the pup… 🙁

    Premier Icon hels
    Free Member

    That sounds terrible and i feel for you – it is not clear from your post – what are you anxious about? That something will happen to the pup?

    Premier Icon oldmanmtb2
    Free Member

    Hows the dog doing? (Serious question)

    If there is someone in the house all day the dog will be happy, dogs sleep a lot even terriers.

    Dogs dont need 24×7 care they need feeding, walking and lots of play when they are pups.

    I doubt you will come up short from the dogs perspective….

    Premier Icon Futureboy77
    Free Member

    You’ve had the pup for a week and I can’t see why you wouldn’t consider the upheaval a new puppy brings before you got it.

    Cairns are notoriously stubborn, so even as adult dogs they can be a challenge.

    Reading your post I’d be inclined to discuss with the breeder as they’ll have a much better chance of finding it a suitable home whilst it’s so young.

    Owner of 2 x Cairn Terriers and involved in Cairn Rescue.

    Premier Icon oldtennisshoes
    Full Member

    Sounds like your grieving for a past life. It’s a tricky one because you have lost the control and freedom in your old life without seeing the opportunities and benefits that the dog will bring once it’s beyond the puppy stage. Puppies are hard work, it won’t stay like this.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Free Member

    It’s a tough one, but follow your instinct.

    Puppies are a right handful and it will get easier after a couple of years, but you seem to have realised that it was the wrong decision.

    So…

    discuss with the breeder as they’ll have a much better chance of finding it a suitable home whilst it’s so young.

    +1

    Premier Icon Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    5 years ago we got a wee Cocker spaniel pup, immediately I felt unwell, absolutely no energy, sick, no appetite, was bloody horrible. Went to the doctors, he said it could be an allergy, although I had no skin allergy type symptoms, none of the usual stuff.

    We had him a week, never improved, wee yin was 9 at the time and while she was desperate for a dog, she just never really took to him (yes, I know it was only a week, tbh she’d love him now), I had no idea how long those symptoms would last, and had a decision to make.

    So, I took him back to the breeder.

    Tbh, it was the right decision, I firmly believe a dog just wasn’t for us, you may be the same, your decision fella.

    Premier Icon toby1
    Full Member

    Getting a dog has been the most stressful experience I have ever faced. It has caused more conflict between my wife and I than we’ve ever had before. It has been a little over a year and it’s been really hard work.

    It may well not be for you if you are already someone who has some degree of anxiety, I consider myself as pretty laid back before and my wife as mildly anxious (previously highly anxious but she’s been improving over the years).

    Our case is a little different in that we’ve been together longer and our dog developed a serious life-long illness after 5 weeks.

    There are positives too; we both love her immensely, we both care far too much about her. When things are good they are very good. We know more people locally than we have ever known before (we’ve lived here 14 years). We have found some amazing neighbours who have been excellent in helping us out with training and tips, some who have stepped in to look after her when we have both needed to be out or needed a break.

    Only you can really make the decision, but if you genuinely are struggling now, it may be worth re-considering. Puppies will easily be rehomed don’t for a minute feel any guilt about making that part of the decision.

    Dogs are enriching, but there is also a cost, mentally, physically and personally financially (I’ve sponsored a wing at the local specialist vets now I think).

    EDIT: When we got a dog, so did our sister in law and her partner, but being the excessive people they are, they went St Bernard, you can tell they both regret it, 60kg of regret (at only 9 months as well), she’s lovely, but their house is a state and the garden is trashed (formerly a lot of pride taken in the garden).

    Premier Icon jam-bo
    Full Member

    Not sure about the dog, but definitely don’t have children. Can’t send them back…

    Premier Icon nickc
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    I now realise it’s a serious issue for me and the thought of not being able to enjoy the incredible life we had before the pup is causing me to freak out and feel incredibly anxious.

    For the sake of your mental health, you probably need to re-home this dog

    Premier Icon mashr
    Full Member

    There’s so much to unpack in that one post that I can only think that the best option is to return the dog, and have a really good think about what you are getting into by getting a dog. Then also consider why you really wanted a terrier, which is starting at the hard end of ownership. After that there’s all the other stuff like why you’re expecting things to be different post-wedding when you’ve already been together 10 years

    Premier Icon funkrodent
    Full Member

    I’m assuming that you guys don’t have kids.

    The reality of having a dog is a significant loss of personal freedom. And by that I mean the ability to do what you want, when you want  where you want. All of a sudden you have this little creature with multiple demands on your time and your freedom.

    This can be hard to deal with.

    Not to mention the fact that a puppy requires training, monitoring and controlled exercising in a way that a mature dog usually doesn’t.

    Bottom line is it is hard work and requires a lot of commitment. And of course you’ve had no training or prep time, just massive overnight change.

    Of course there is trade off in terms of alife long friend, companion and ally. But the short term pain may be too high.

    Congratulations on being honest and brave enough to open up to the negative impact this is having on you and your wife. All things being equal, if you can’t see light at the end of the tunnel, for the sake of you, the wife and the dog I’d think very seriously about taking it back.

    I don’t know if you guys are thinking of having kidd, but the impact of them on home life is also very profound

    Premier Icon joshvegas
    Free Member

    Have you bean/talked to the doctor?

    If it’s symptoms of other underlying issues and the dog is just the catalyst it would be a shame for you and the dog to miss out on life together.

    Talking to the doctor about my anxiety depression was one of the best things I have ever done.

    Premier Icon idiotdogbrain
    Free Member

    I think you’ve realised that you both have some mental health issues regarding changes in your routine, and I think you maybe need to address those first without the responsibility of a puppy in the middle of it – especially a breed that are known for being tricky even for experienced owners!

    Dogs are fairly simple creatures really – they need love, and boundaries. We’ve been dog owners for 11 years, and our 6 month old pup is a handful even for us! For the first two months he was never left alone and he needed almost constant monitoring to establish the boundaries, keep on top of the toilet training, etc – and this was with our existing dog helping teach him!

    It’s an immense amount of work, but now at 6 months we’re beginning to see the results of that and he’s just a joy to be around. You need to be realistic about what’s involved, and whether you actually want to fix your issues long-term. It might help to actually write down what it was you hoped to get from owning a dog, what you thought it would be like, how the reality is different, and what about the change is making you anxious. You can then make a rational decision regarding whether the best option is to get help and work through it, or hand the dog back. I would advise doing it sooner rather than later so that the pup doesn’t get too bonded to you though – none of this is his fault.

    Premier Icon chevychase
    Free Member

    why you’re expecting things to be different post-wedding when you’ve already been together 10 years

    This tbh.

    I think it’s quite possible that you expected change by getting married and getting a dog and you’re actually feeling anxious that nothing has really changed, but looking at the dog and making that the focus of all your anxieties.

    I think potentially look at taking the dog back but ensure you’re in regular counselling tbh. That’s probably number 1.

    Premier Icon jamster
    Free Member

    You don’t say exactly what is making you anxious but I extrapolate that it is because you think you’ve made a bad decision that you now can’t undo, and that the decision will have long term negative consequences for you and your wife, and the pup?

    Good news. You haven’t; it won’t.

    Be careful not to ‘catastrophise’. It has only been a week. You say yourself that you like routine, and don’t like change. You’ve made a change that will blow your routine to shreds and make you very tired to boot. What you are feeling now is all within the bounds of normal human response to such a change, and doesn’t mean you’ve done something terribly wrong.

    Have you asked your wife why she is in tears? Is it the pup, or is it that she is seeing the effect that the situation is having on you? Constantly talking about whether to keep him or send him back will probably be creating huge cognitive dissonance for her. Should she bond with the pup or not? Should she go along with your feelings or challenge you on them at a time when she must know you are fragile? It must be creating an emotional toll for her.

    Don’t feel bad about that. Corny to say but: she loves you for you.

    Do think about how you can help diffuse the situation.

    From your description it sounds like you are well set up to be a dog owner and can give it the care it needs over time. Puppies can be hard work but they do calm down eventually, and in any case you will get used to the change.

    You sound like a responsible person who cares very deeply about the welfare of the pup. You don’t seem to say anything about your situation that suggests that the pup’s well-being will be compromised in the long term.

    You do sound a bit worried about the impact it will have our your lifestyle. That’s a reasonable concern. On the other hand, make sure you are not comparing the hypothetical with the real. Keeping all options open often means choosing none.

    Therefore in my view the decision can be made taking into account the following question and the following question only:

    1. “Do I *want* to be a dog owner?”

    If the answer is “Yes, but I am struggling”, then persevere. Embrace the challenge. Commit to giving the pup a great start but don’t worry too much if you don’t achieve perfection. From observation of the doggy people in my life, very few of them have, and it doesn’t matter.

    If the answer is “No, I don’t *want* this” then return the pup as soon as possible. It will be easy to rehome at this stage.

    It’s all about emotion and not logic at this stage. Please don’t say “Let’s give it a few more weeks and then decide”. That’s a horrible experience for all concerned.

    Are you seeking medical help for the fact you’ve clearly done something to trigger a bout of wider anxiety? (I recognise what you are saying from personal experience… not got a dog but you should have seen me the first time we bought a house, and the time I made a bad job move… ). In a sense, the anxiety can be separated from the situation itself… it is like falling over a breaking a leg because you tried a new sport… not what you had in mind but it happened. Just get the treatment you need to deal with it.

    In the meantime, chin up, you are doing fine.

    Premier Icon Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    Congratulations on being honest and brave enough to open up to the negative impact this is having on you and your wife

    This + 1

    Premier Icon TiRed
    Full Member

    Now, we finally have our little pup, 9 weeks old

    Still VERY early days. My wife had the same with our now seven month old cocker spaniel (our third). It will improve. Keep it in a cage at night. Be disciplined. It’s a baby and they are hard work. But they do improve. Ours is very food driven (of course), but has responded well to training. And you are its favourite toy. But you are above all his trainer.

    Premier Icon dirkpitt74
    Full Member

    Really sorry to hear that you are struggling with this.
    On the flip side I found that having a dog really helped my mental health – gave me something else to focus on other than the never ending crap that seemed to go my way.
    My wife is a stay at home mom, so she did the majority of the training but he is most definitely MY dog – we just have a bond. When I was off work with stress & anxiety just taking him for a walk, spending time playing or just having him sit on my lap for a bit of fuss gave such a mental boost.

    Yes they can be hard work – chewing, pooping, peeing and whining but so worth it.

    We also mainly holiday in the UK and take him with us, and most of our days out are ‘outdoorsy’ so he comes along to those too. My Dad & MIL have watched him for the odd day when we’ve had something on – so you do need a bit of support every now and again.

    But if it really isn’t working, then the best thing for all of you is to ask the breeder to re-home.

    Good luck with your decision.

    Premier Icon brads
    Free Member

    I’ve never seen a dog as this much of an issue.
    Our first one was bought without my knowledge and dumped on me when I woke up after a nightshift
    It just slotted in, they aren’t hard work.
    I’d say here that the dog is not the issue.

    Premier Icon toby1
    Full Member

    they aren’t hard work.

    My experience is not your experience of course, but I’d disagree.

    Reactivity, resource guarding, ‘roid rage, sickness, food stealing, general middle of the night guard-dog stuff. Then there’s the lifestyle changes, as someone who has been used to the freedom to do what I want with a reasonable amount of my time, I’m now not able to find time for much riding between working, looking after a dog and my wife being out at work for the day Mon-Fri. Then there’s holiday’s initial plans were, estate car and she’d come to France with us, OR go to our friends who is a dog-sitter. She’s too sick to insure for international travel (or to vaccinate), then there’s the time she chewed the floor up at our dig sitting friends house, or the time she destroyed a metal crate overnight, or the last time we went when we attacked one of the other guest dogs. So we aren’t asking our friend to look after her now and need an alternative for holidays, not that we’ve had any non-UK ones for a couple of years of course!

    Premier Icon lawman91
    Full Member

    Thanks all for the feedback and help. It all helps. For sure, the issue is with us and not the dog; while we’ve never had a dog or a puppy before, we and others can tell that he is not a menace, just a puppy, and that really hurts me as he has done nothing wrong.

    My wife and I are very, very close; aside from my MTBing, we do everything together and we do enjoy being out and about and doing things as well as having time together to kick back and relax, as we do so much when we’re out we need a rest! We’ve both said we miss being ourselves. While I’ve had issues in the past, I am generally very laid back and most things do not phase me, everyone remarked on our wedding day how calm and relaxed I was. I definitely think that I was expecting some time to relax after 2 years planning the wedding, so we could get the last few things around the house in order (the garden for example, which is not puppy secure at the moment) and be ourselves with our routine for a bit.

    While I said we’d thought about one for years, in terms of actually planning for one, it all happened in the space of a few weeks; we finally found a good breeder, travelled to meet the pups and loved one of them.

    My idea of routine has gone well out of the window for the last 2 months and I think that is the thing that is throwing me the most. I get we will have a new routine, but my worry is what it will do to us both in the meantime. For sure, my mental health is a big part of this issue and it kills me that I’m finding what should be such a menial thing is causing as much stress and upset as it is.

    Premier Icon jamster
    Free Member

    By the way OP – does your username suggest that you work in the legal sector? If so – check out https://www.lawcare.org.uk And know you are *very* far from alone in having to deal with the adverse effects of anxiety in this profession. It’s a helpful attribute for our work but it’s like a professional curse … many of us have to work out how to deal with the impacts on our personal lives at some point or other.

    Premier Icon idiotdogbrain
    Free Member

    Can I ask – what is it about having a puppy that is stopping you being yourself?

    I’m guessing you had an idea of what you thought dog ownership would be like – is there a massive disconnect between that and the reality of it?

    Premier Icon w00dster
    Full Member

    All dogs are different.
    We have a 6 year old chocolate lab, easiest, most laid back dog I’ve ever dealt with. His training was just so easy and stress free. Not scent driven, brilliant on walks. He’s an absolute joy to take out.
    We have a 1 year old Sprocker Spaniel. Complete opposite. Needs almost 100% attention. Has had 4 solid months of training, his recall is really good until he gets a scent, then he’s gone. No chance of getting him back until he wants to come back. His daily exercise he’s generally confined to the 30m lead and chases a frisbee or we run around a large field together, I just can’t trust him of the lead. On the lead, we can have 3 or 4 walks with him and he’s great, no pulling, walking next to me in a nice straight line. Equally he can be a nightmare for 3 or 4 walks, pulling everywhere to go sniff something, wants to go in every gap in a hedge he finds. In training he’s like the top pupil, does everything perfectly. We continue the training at home, he’s really engaged at the start then just wants to fight. He’s hard work. Still chewing everything he can.
    We love him to bits, but it can be tough. Fortunately we have the time and energy to deal with it. But I could definitely see why some folks see dog ownership as a stressful time.

    Premier Icon labsey
    Full Member

    I feel so pathetic for feeling this way when others go through so, so much more.

    What makes this forum great is how willing people are to help out, no matter what you need. Unless you’re asking ‘What SUV To Go Fox Hunting’. Problems are problems, someone else might have bigger problems, but that doesn’t devalue yours. Fair play to you for opening up about it. Many wouldn’t.

    Some pups can be extremely challenging, not that they’re bad pups, but may need some sessions with a dog trainer. That might do you both the world of good. We did it with one of our family dogs (Lab) and the difference was amazing.

    Premier Icon IdleJon
    Full Member

    My experience is not your experience of course, but I’d disagree.

    Reactivity, resource guarding, ‘roid rage, sickness, food stealing, general middle of the night guard-dog stuff. Then there’s the lifestyle changes, as someone who has been used to the freedom to do what I want with a reasonable amount of my time, I’m now not able to find time for much riding between working, looking after a dog and my wife being out at work for the day Mon-Fri. Then there’s holiday’s initial plans were, estate car and she’d come to France with us, OR go to our friends who is a dog-sitter. She’s too sick to insure for international travel (or to vaccinate), then there’s the time she chewed the floor up at our dig sitting friends house, or the time she destroyed a metal crate overnight, or the last time we went when we attacked one of the other guest dogs. So we aren’t asking our friend to look after her now and need an alternative for holidays, not that we’ve had any non-UK ones for a couple of years of course!

    Everything you’ve talked about there is absolutely standard dog ownership. They destroy things. They take up your time. They dump on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. They sick over your sofa after eating questionable things on walks. They roll in smelly things on walks, needing a bath when they get home. They need hours of exercise a week. They want attention off you when you might not want to give it. Ask pretty much any dog owner and they’ll have told you this before you bought your dog. Anybody not understanding this before buying should really not be owning dogs.

    Premier Icon fettlin
    Full Member

    My idea of routine has gone well out of the window for the last 2 months and I think that is the thing that is throwing me the most. I get we will have a new routine, but my worry is what it will do to us both in the meantime. For sure, my mental health is a big part of this issue and it kills me that I’m finding what should be such a menial thing is causing as much stress and upset as it is.

    Do you want to go back to your old (pre-wedding) routine? Or do you want to just have ‘a routine’? either way, it will come in time, but your last sentence will, imo, hold you back.

    Having a dog isn’t a menial thing (and a puppy even less so), if you can ’embrace the chaos’ and accept that you need to devote time for all three of you to settle in to a new routine, it will be worth it in spades further down the line. Dont try and do the things you used to, because if you fail then that could be put back on the pup which isn’y fair on you or the dog.

    Fwiw, we got a second puppy in 2019 and she is still a cause of anxiety in me. Her behavior is exemplary 99% of the time, but when we go anywhere in the car she gets really anxious and barks/whines etc in the car which really drives me nuts.

    BUT and i’m sure other dog owners agree, the companionship, fun, affection and pleasure we share the rest of the time makes dog ownership one of the best things for both mine and my wife’s mental health.

    Premier Icon the-muffin-man
    Full Member

    they aren’t hard work.

    They can be bloody hard work!

    We currently have a 1yr old Jack Russell – 95% of the time he’s as good as gold. But he won’t be left along without howling the house down. And nothing seems to work (so far!).

    We’ve both been brought up with dogs and I’ve lost count of how many we’ve both had and this little scrote is proving troublesome! 🙂

    If you’ve never experienced owning a dog, the reality of how tying they are will come as a shock.

    Premier Icon mashr
    Full Member

    IdleJon
    Full Member
    Everything you’ve talked about there is absolutely standard dog ownership. They destroy things. They take up your time. They dump on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. They sick over your sofa after eating questionable things on walks. They roll in smelly things on walks, needing a bath when they get home. They need hours of exercise a week. They want attention off you when you might not want to give it. Ask pretty much any dog owner and they’ll have told you this before you bought your dog. Anybody not understanding this before buying should really not be owning dogs.

    Which means a lot of hard work, exactly what toby1 was saying

    Premier Icon GolfChick
    Free Member

    Puppy blues are fairly normal in fact most of us have been there! It’s damn hard work and to do it correctly and come out the other end with a well behaved dog is even more work than that! You have 12 months of solid work before things even slightly start to get easier and then I’m afraid you’ve taken on a terrier and they are notoriously tenacious! You’ll need to socialise the dog, start work on your recall and then proof it like crazy, get them used to every possible situation that you may want to expose them to later on down the line plus a multitude of other responsibilities. Only you can decide whether you’re capable of and ready for all of that but you need to make the decision as soon as you can so the dog doesnt miss out on this early important stages.

    This is a thread dedicated to people facing the same puppy blues. on an alternative forum that I’m a member of so you can see you’re not alone!

    Premier Icon IdleJon
    Full Member

    Which means a lot of hard work, exactly what toby1 was saying

    Not quite – I’m saying that it shouldn’t come as a surprise. There’s no point complaining about it after you’ve bought the dog.

    Premier Icon tonyd
    Free Member

    Agree with IdleJon, dogs are hard work and everybody should go into dog ownership with eyes wide open. On the whole though I think lockdown changed that for a lot of people. Anyway, I digress.

    OP – sorry you are feeling this way. I’d love to say that it will get better and you should persevere but honestly, if you are feeling like this after one week I would say return the dog to the breeder. Don’t feel bad about it or cause yourself any more heartache – better to do it now than make yourselves ill. The breeder will no doubt be more interested in making sure the pup goes to a more suitable home than judging you.

    End of the day you need to do what is best for the dog, which will coincide with what is best for you.

    Premier Icon stcolin
    Free Member

    I went through exactly the same thing. I really struggled in the first few months, nevermind days/weeks.

    I had panic attacks, didn’t sleep, didn’t eat.

    He’s almost 11 months old now and all the hard work is starting to pay off. He can still be really hard work some days and we have seperation issues, but we will keep working at it as we can see the progress in other areas.

    Now he is great fun to have around and is great company. He loves everyone and other dogs, he’s always so happy around them. And on another level, he has been a support for me at times when I’ve been struggling with my mental health. I think he can sense it a little bit and tends to lump himself on me and stay close for a bit.

    If you want it long term, stick at it.

    Premier Icon TheLittlestHobo
    Free Member

    Could just be the wrong dog at the wrong time for you. It seems the little chap is getting in the way of you and your wifes happiness rather than adding to it. Trust me, the right dog at the right time can be the most amazing stress reliever. There is nothing nicer than getting home from work to a dogs welcome, sitting in a chair with your dog asking to get up on your lap and just sitting there for a few hours watching the world go by. I go for a walk in the dark every morning with my lads and its the most peaceful time of the day.

    The reason i am saying that is because it wasnt always like that. Puppies are hard work, stressful and sometimes annoying. My son was a bit like you with our first dog. He worked through it (He had no choice, a dog is akin to adopting a child in our house) and eventually became relaxed around the dog. We got a second and he has loved every second of it having learnt from the first.

    My suggestion is to invest in help. Invest in training. Invest in walkies (Yourself and others) Crikey we recently paid a local service to take our lads for a day each week for a few weeks so that when we needed them to stay away for a weekend they were settled. There are people who will do this for you.

    It doesnt sound like its the dogs fault so i reckon he deserves more than handing back. You might just find that the pay back is more than you could ever expect.

    Premier Icon desperatebicycle
    Free Member

    A week just isn’t long enough.
    Was 15 years ago now, the dog is long gone 🙁 but I remember the first few weeks so well! Coming home to dog shit spread around the house, anxious dog, complaints about barking from the neighbours, etc etc and just not understanding what we were doing wrong.
    It was the end of the second week we phoned the breeders and asked if they’d take her back.
    They said give it a bit longer.
    We did. Like 13 years … 13 years of utter joy with that dog (and some further frustrations, but they were worth it!) Still can’t believe she’s gone.

    Premier Icon thisisnotaspoon
    Full Member

    On the other hand, the fact that you’re that worried and anxious probably puts you ahead of 90% of dog owners anyway because it means you’ll do something about it.

    As for it being a terrier… yep, hard work. BUT bear in mind that most dogs are just barely trained and badly socialized, small dogs especially. From the get-go owners fall back on them being small dogs that can be pulled around rather than dealt with constructively. And being small, no one pays a blind bit of attention to their body language. You wouldn’t walk upto a Rotweiller* that didn’t look happy, but crowd around a Dashound and pick it up, thus any small breed has a tendency towards becoming a problem.

    *you’d hope, but we briefly rescued an Akita/Rotty cross that didn’t get on with people or dogs. Would people leave him alone? Nope, because he was a very handsome chap and then eventually you get shouted at for being a bad owner. We managed 10 days before I had to come home from work to rescue my girfriend in tears because she’d been cornered by other dog walkers at the bottom of the field.

    Teddy:

    Premier Icon tonyd
    Free Member

    It doesnt sound like its the dogs fault so i reckon he deserves more than handing back.

    If it’s the usual puppy antics that are stressing the OP out then I’d agree, but that was far from clear to me in the original post. My assumption was that there is more to it than mess, noise, chewed up stuff. Perhaps the OP can explain what is causing the anxiety (apologies if I missed that), otherwise I’d agree with this

    Could just be the wrong dog at the wrong time for you

    The pups best life might not be with the OP, which is why I’m saying return it – not because the pup has done anything wrong (nor has the OP).

    Premier Icon toby1
    Full Member

    @IdleJohn Your point is valid, but my mutt (rescue not a fancy puppy or anything) manages to surprise me from from time to time. See pretty much every dog owner I’ve ever met will tell you how much their dog likes to play with balls, to their detriment at times, a friends 6 year old Collie has arthritis in her hips now as she just won’t stop.

    But my dog, stole a ball from another dog in the park, evaded capture despite I and several other owners trying to catch her, she chewed the ball into a couple of pieces and swallowed the lot. I have recently met another dog owner who has suffered this and theirs to a greater extent as they couldn’t just drag it out with a scope like ours, theirs was cut out. So even after having been around dogs plenty, looked after them for weeks at a time, they can still surprise you.

    Not to distract from the OPs post, it is important to go into dog ownership informed, but there is very little preparation like actually owning one!

    Premier Icon joefm
    Free Member

    Sounds like you need help from professionals regarding mental health.
    As others have said, children will be worse and you can’t take them back/sell them.

    Should not be feeling this way and it’s not the dog as you know it’s temporary.

    right now it’s mostly work with the puppy. You can’t take him out. In a few weeks you will and then you’ll get the fun reward and something to look forward to with your OH.

    We went from a mature dog to a puppy lab who is now 8 months old so it was a bit of a shock how much work he is but he’s getting better everyday. I dont remember all the work but he’s responding really well so it’s worth being patient.

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