Neighbours son upset about going back to school

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  • Neighbours son upset about going back to school
  • project
    Member

    So the schools go back in the next few days, freinds son, is upset about having to go back, crying,ranting, stressing out,saying he hates it, worried about being bullied or ridiculed, hates wearing his new school uniform and shiny shoes,worries about coping with the homework and teachers.His parents are at their wits ends.

    ads678
    Member

    Was he being bullied last term?

    If not he’ll be reet in a few days.

    Coyote
    Member
    Premier Icon takisawa2
    Subscriber

    Is he a teacher ?

    scotroutes
    Member

    takisawa2 wrote:

    Is he a teacher ?

    😆

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Having your head flushed down the bog is character building!

    Anyway… sod the kids…. what about us?

    g5604
    Member

    making me nervous for my sons first day in a week. No idea how they are going to keep him indoors.

    I was like that every day when I was at school.

    badnewz
    Member

    The worst period of my life was going to a secondary school which I detested. I only lasted two terms, and I can still vividly recall the dread I felt the night before going back.
    I changed schools and everything changed for the better, infact I think I used to look forward to going back.

    sharkbait
    Member

    His parents are at their wits ends.

    I take it this their eldest (and possibly only) child.

    Premier Icon jekkyl
    Subscriber

    Getting bullied is an education, you learn which tossers to avoid. If you get bullied loads you’ll either toughen up & fight back or go introverted. Either way it’s something you can’t avoid so just get on with it.

    Premier Icon neil the wheel
    Subscriber

    I was like this from age 9 or so. I was in my late 40’s before being diagnosed with anxiety. It was all the same stuff.

    flatpat
    Member

    My elder boy always hates going back. Stresses about uncomfortable uniform, moans about it being boring and strops his way to school. I think it’s mainly about change for him – he’s never liked it. Ask him in the evening and he’s usually had a great day. We usually expect the first few mornings of every term to be a stressful nightmare as we alternately cajole and bully him in.

    No useful advice – other than to say they’re not the only ones!

    djglover
    Member

    Some people are just that way out.

    I am father to fraternal twins, one was dying to go back to see her friends, the other was highly anxious that she would not be able to connect with the other people. We tried to coach her through what to say etc but it didnt work, her friends romped up and she just stood there awkwardly until they had dispursed. I felt really sad for her but doesnt seem that there is anything I can do. Nature vs nurture?

    allthegear
    Member

    Hates wearing his school uniform?

    Rachel

    ninfan
    Member

    Aspergers daughter, last few days have been hell on earth 🙁

    twinw4ll
    Member

    Reminds me of my daughters first day at school, was a robust young lad going round hitting, pulling hair and being a right little toerag, until my daughter smashed him in the face with a large wooden building block.
    “Settled him down” the teacher told my wife.

    cheekyboy
    Member

    I hate it too ! means the kids are growing up and Im getting older, dreading the day the kids leave………….Ill be stuck with the Mrs 👿

    Premier Icon lovewookie
    Subscriber

    Aspergers daughter, last few days have been hell on earth

    It used to be like that for us. Particularly bad if I had to be at work on time, had meetings and a routine I really needed to stick to, then my Apergers would show, which is not a good mix :-/.
    However ours is 15 now, and is the first time she’s managed a full week on school. She’s enjoying it now and has finaly ‘settled’, or rather has a set of routines and predetermined things to do if ‘x’ happens.

    Its taken years of negotiation with the school, trying out different things, keepin a close eye on her peer groups and general helecopter parenting. We’d kinda got used to the idea that, though bright, she was never going to perform academically, but now she’s on her Nat5’s and doing a Higher too and wants to go on to uni. Hang in there, it does get better.

    Premier Icon kcal
    Subscriber

    it does get better. ASD elder (son type) had a rubbish time at primary (moved into area in P4); and some times at secondary it was awful too. They accepted him in time, school gave support, flourished, great set of Highers, several advanced higher too (better than I managed) and was joint dux last academic year. On to university in – ah !! – 10 days time 🙂

    “being bullied is an education” – charming. I really wished I wasn’t bullied. There’s really no excuse..

    Premier Icon lovewookie
    Subscriber

    “being bullied is an education” – charming. I really wished I wasn’t bullied. There’s really no excuse

    like saying being bullied is part of having Aspergers.

    You know why it happens, but it still isnt great. Happened to me in the late 70’s/early 80’s and it happend to my daughter in primary and her first high school, by both kids and teachers who think you’re just a bit quiet and odd and cant be bothered trying despite being capable.

    Interesting reading the OP. it’s very difficult to distinguish between a child who just doesn’t like the change from the freedom of holidays or doesn’t like the formality of uniforms, how uncomfortable they can seem, so more of a sensory processing problem, or the return to the school environment, a land of expectation and social cues and the inability to figure out where you’re supposed to be at any one time!

    Premier Icon jekkyl
    Subscriber

    kcal, you took my words out of context ‘getting bullied is an education’ I didn’t mean that it’s good thing at all, it’s relevant to the next part of the statement which is ‘you learn which ****** to avoid’ – meaning you learn that there are nasty people in the world and that you can try and avoid them. I was bullied in school, loathed secondary school and I think it did twist something inside myself and how I view other people’s actions. So it’s not something which I think is a force for good at all.

    Premier Icon kcal
    Subscriber

    @lovewookie – school support varies so much between schools and staff – some are outstanding, some terrible. And I imagine between councils (we’re in Moray which is not bad) it must vary as well depending on resources as well. Referral and diagnosis helped in our case.

    @jekkyl – fair enough. I did a bit. Do wish there were ways to learn these life lessons without the trauma though :/ TBF I think the schools are in general a bit sharper on these things than in my day.

    Premier Icon lovewookie
    Subscriber

    yeah, in our experience the local Academy had a terrible attitude, contributing greatly to my daughters subsequent mental health problems. It was all about pushing the high achievers, to get the school rating up.
    The school she’s in now is in a slightly rougher area, but more geared toward the capabilities and best achievement of the individual. It’s more important that the kids have the opportunity to have as good an education as they are able by looking deeper into their difficulties with aquiring that and how to work around it, than the average result score.

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