• This topic has 149 replies, 70 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by Houns.
Viewing 30 posts - 121 through 150 (of 150 total)
  • Neighbour moving satellite dish on purpose
  • Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    No need to accuse, you just say “excuse me, my mum’s satellite dish keeps getting moved, I wondered if you knew what was going on?”

    “No idea mate, sorry.”

    Then what?

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    Then what?

    Sniper, obviously.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I like the cut of your jib.

    Can you get a rifle that fires frozen sausages?

    Can you get a rifle that fires frozen sausages?

    A Wallther PPK?

    @retro
    For clarity, I have had to travel 10 miles each way to my mother’s house to adjust the dish so she could watch tv again.

    Then around 9.20pm the neighbour leaned out of his window to smack the dish with a 4×2 so the shadow of the dish isn’t on his property. This happened 3 times.

    The fourth time he moved it when my mother nipped out to the local shop for 30 minutes at 11am. She came back and told me it had moved again.

    I put a security camera up to see what was happening to the dish.

    The neighbour eventually posted a note through the door, which I replied with a letter through his door.

    I’m only annoyed that he was playing a game of **** the dish out of alignment so my mother couldn’t watch tv.

    My mother has lived in the property for 40 years, the neighbour for 18 months.

    I’ll save what he has done with his fence for another thread, but the neighbour is the one who has acted like a child.

    If he had knocked on the door and asked if we would move the dish I would have arranged it.

    Do you have a dog by any chance? I have spare sausages

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    Can you get a rifle that fires frozen sausages?

    Rifles have girl’s names, like Charlene, so I’m not sure they have shooting sausages.

    Though these days I shouldn’t judge I suppose.

    poah
    Member

    Hang something out your window so it casts a shadow but its still on your property.

    retro83
    Member

    flyingpotatoes
    Member

    @retro

    Fair enough sounds like he’s just an arsehole then.

    Cougar

    “No idea mate, sorry.”

    Then what?

    Why would he say that if something is annoying him enough to bother moving it? Makes no sense at all.

    Hammer frozen Jobbies into his lawn. Eat the sausages.

    bsims
    Member

    Hang something out your window so it casts a shadow but its still on your property.

    An electric awning mounted side ways. Then you can wind it in when he complains and back out again half an hour later.

    Edit. Or wind it in when he is complaining so you can look and say it’s not out. Then as he returns home wind it out in time for his arrival.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    frozen Jobbies into his lawn

    You realise freezer sections everywhere have been stripped bare like Pakistan’s crop fields so you would have to make your own don’t you?

    An electric awning mounted side ways. Then you can wind it in when he complains and back out again half an hour later.

    A huge flag would work better, it makes a lovely noise in the wind and could be chosen specifically to annoy the neighbour, so a union jack, EU, rainbow etc.

    bsims
    Member

    A huge flag would work better, it makes a lovely noise in the wind

    And a large wind chime attached

    You realise freezer sections everywhere have been stripped bare like Pakistan’s crop fields so you would have to make your own don’t you?

    This is STW. We always make our own.

    Premier Icon pondo
    Subscriber

    Makes no sense at all.

    Speaking of which, he moved the dish because it cast a shadow on his wall. Makes less sense to me.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    This is STW. We always make our own

    No we don’t.

    We buy artisan hand made extra-fine-ds crispy pancakes then cook them in our portable wood fired oven over wagyu birch.

    Usually whilst sitting beside our camper converted t4, wearing a 5k watch moaning that our LBS has the audacity to charge rrp for a £6 part when we could buy it for £5.98 on the Internet if only they’d spend half an hour figuring out which one we need.

    No we don’t.

    Yes we do.
    I would not countenance a shop-bought Jobby

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    I would not countenance a shop-bought Jobby

    Not even shit like this?

    Also you’d never produce an STW suitable pineapple with your own.
    Unless you eat a lot of chickpeas.

    Nope

    Panther jobbies trump them all.

    They are , quite literally, the shizzle.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    I suppose being a cat, panthers are well experienced at shizzling in their neighbours’ gardens.

    OP buy a panther. The neighbour will end up thinking its theirs and feeding it soon enough so the costs will be short lived but the gifts will be forever.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Why would he say that if something is annoying him enough to bother moving it? Makes no sense at all.

    By that argument he’d have said something in the first place rather than acting the tool.

    I rather fear that you overestimate people.

    Premier Icon 40mpg
    Subscriber

    Then around 9.20pm the neighbour leaned out of his window

    Paint his windows light blue. He wont realise it’s got dark. Job jobbed.

    easily
    Member

    I’ll save what he has done with his fence for another thread

    Oh come on, we’re all cooped up at home – tell us about the fence.

    Premier Icon craig5
    Subscriber

    Yeh whats going on with the fence? Paint it with sudocrem then bum it

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    [in whiney Brad pitt voice] what’s with the fence? what’s with the ******* fence? [/in whiney Brad pitt voice]

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Back Fist to the mouth.

    You realise freezer sections everywhere have been stripped bare like Pakistan’s crop fields so you would have to make your own don’t you?

    Of course! You’d freeze someone else jobbies? Disgusting.

    Not to Perchy, Jobbie is always spelled this way, never with a y old chap.

    It’s my jobby and i’ll spell it however I like.

    24 hours and no fence report.

    Tsk.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    It’s my jobby and i’ll spell it however I like.

    Does you think it spells sweeter than most?

    Premier Icon Houns
    Subscriber

    Bum his lasagne

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