Nearly had fisticuffs this morning!

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  • Nearly had fisticuffs this morning!
  • wrightyson
    Member

    Well aren’t there some aggressive **** out there on the roads these days.
    Merrily tootling to work this morning in a 30 past a school and some parked cars. Comes towards me Mr shiny e class at warp factor easily 50 mph gesticulating wildly. I presume there’s a wasp in the car but no, he’s angry, that I, way before he was anywhere close dared to round parked cars in my dirty transit van.
    Here’s where my first and only mistake was, I pulled over and stopped in a space. This caused him to go in to Linford mode after abandoning his car and sprint down the road. He actually called me ugly which hurt a bit and even said my breath smelt, (last night’s garlic I presume). So then off comes the tie and he asks me to get out and he’ll show me who’s right, I decline, he says come on get out we’ll sort this, I ask him if he’s got any pistols, this further enrages merc man. Then an old lady pulls up behind and pokes her head out of the window and tells him he’s driving like an idiot as he’d overtook her previously. I chip in stating he must be a bell end, me and the lady have a chat about merc man, he’s getting more angry. I put my window up and drive off. I so wanted to get out and level the **** but I’m going on holiday on Monday and I didn’t want to end up in court! Bellend!

    going on holiday monday :0) haha thats my excuse for not doing big dropoffs on the pushbike

    P-Jay
    Member

    Maybe there’s something in the air…

    Lots of super agro drivers near me yesterday, blaring horns and taking roundabouts like Lewis Button.

    Maybe it’s come to this, the Easter Fortnight used to be a nice time to drive, a bit more room, daylight during rush hour, everyone took a bit of a chill pill – not this year, it’s gone right the other way.

    Haven’t been offered a full on pavement dust up this year though, last year I was offered a fight with two chaps at once, which seemed unfair.

    oldmanmtb
    Member

    Well handled sir, I admire your approach. I sadly would be under arrest at this point…

    Premier Icon cynic-al
    Subscriber

    I ask him if he’s got any pistols

    I chortled.

    I ask him if he’s got any pistols, this further enrages merc man

    There goes my nose-coffee

    How close to an aneurysm do you think you and old lady got him?

    Strange how some people really do see their commute as an acceptable way to vent all the self-loathing in their miserable unfulfilled lives.

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    Here.

    Sip it sloooowly.

    scud
    Member

    Had to laugh last night when Golf R32 ahead of me got wound up having wait behind a combine harvester for at least 20 seconds, winds car up and overtakes on a blind bend only to not be able to make the bend and stick it in a ditch!

    ton
    Member

    fighting at the side of the road with a stranger is never going to end well.
    deep breaths and walk away.

    wrightyson
    Member

    whatyadoinsucka – Member
    going on holiday monday

    I am, can’t wait. Can’t get over how confident some people are in their ability to go toe to toe.
    I’ve done my fair share of that shit, the worse one was getting a black ear from a sweet right hand, hurt for weeks.
    There really are some proper psychos out there who would have been out in a shot and I could tell he was way too keen to be up to much. He’ll learn the hard way one day…

    “He actually called me ugly”

    JPEG, so we judge for ourselves.

    “I ask him if he’s got any pistols”

    This is brilliant.

    ferrals
    Member

    the pistols bit is genius – I’m going to remember that one πŸ˜†

    Premier Icon tthew
    Subscriber

    Sounds like you found a way to rise above it and see the funny stupid side of the situation, so you win as he’s having a worse day than you now.

    Had to laugh last night when Golf R32 ahead of me got wound up having wait behind a combine harvester for at least 20 seconds, winds car up and overtakes on a blind bend only to not be able to make the bend and stick it in a ditch!

    Similar thing happened to be on the way back from Llandegla. 2 young tits racing along the Ruthin Road, shortly found crashed into the hedge and each other in Minera. The one in, what I assumed was his dad’s brand new Lexus was looking particularly glum

    Toot and wave.
    Toot and wave. πŸ˜†

    Love it when that happens Scud.

    Once saw one of those daft overpowered aussie vauxhall minaro things do the same on the road from Laggan to Fort william. Guy overtook about 6 cars on a left bend, then fishtailed it all over the road before burying it in a bog.

    ‘There must be diesel on the road’ was his excuse. Oh how we larf’d.

    “Pistols”

    Excellent! πŸ˜€ That’s the kind of thing I’d only think of five minutes too late. Goes up there with muddydwarf’s “What are you gonna do? Eat me?” to the fat guy driving the Range Rover.

    Premier Icon crazy-legs
    Subscriber

    Maybe it’s come to this, the Easter Fortnight used to be a nice time to drive, a bit more room, daylight during rush hour, everyone took a bit of a chill pill – not this year, it’s gone right the other way.

    I noticed this last week during a commute to work (on the road bike). Had more close/impatient/aggressive passes in that one ride than in the entrie previous week. Just seemed that everyone expected to be able to drive much faster but actually couldn’t.

    Been doing the off-road commute this week on the CX bike, the good weather means the tracks have dried out nicely and it’s been beautiful. I need to cross one road, otherwise the entire thing is completely car-free.

    oldmanmtb
    Member

    I agree I see people squaring up with no knowledge about what they are dealing with physically. I know some very unassuming human beings that I would not want to get a slap from. Watched a drunk pikey offer out a local in a pub in Yarm (two blokes gypo bollocks) trouble was the local was an ex royal navy boxing champion – the whole fracas didn’t last long.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    Ah, wrightyson! We all think you’re pretty and smell sweet. Ignore the nasty man. (Well done πŸ™‚ )

    Premier Icon Rubber Duck
    Subscriber

    I think the pistols comment was quality. πŸ˜†

    jonnyboi
    Member

    fighting at the side of the road with a stranger is never going to end well.
    deep breaths and walk away.

    This, I had an actual fight last weekend with a guy who very close passed me then slowed and squeezed me as punishment for my yells and gesticulations. It escalated very quickly to me punching him in the head four or five times in front of his wife and daughter after he came at me.

    Things I learned.

    1) no one comes out of it well
    2) weight & height is everything in the early part of a fight, he was fat and unfit but it was really hard to keep his early wild swings at bay
    3) dodging in roadie shoes is hard
    4) I should have reacted with humour and wit rather than aggression.

    Premier Icon GrahamS
    Subscriber

    I had a guy behind me the other day (in Merc as well) who was clearly frantic that I had the audacity to stick to the 30 limit (residential area, kids about) and then the downright cheek to obey the subsequent 20 limit through the main village.

    Driving an inch off my bumper, red face, doing the above mentioned “wasp in the car” act. Usual stuff. I just left him too it.

    Then as we go to the end of the 20 section (which is only half a mile long) he decided to floor it and overtake me at speed on the wrong side of a traffic island!?

    Naturally there was a car coming the other way. I slammed on the brakes, as did the oncoming car, giving him just enough room to pass the island and swerve back across with literally inches to spare and then zoom off.

    I have no doubt that in his mind that whole incident was entirely my fault.

    TL;DR; some people drive like utter bellends and it’s never their fault.

    NZCol
    Member

    Geezer in a Merc overtook line of traffic last night at pace before lights, lights changed. Trapped on wrong side of road. Beside a police van. Smile and wave, smile and wave as he’d close passed me a few minutes before on a wide road. I also know where he lives …

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    4) I should have reacted with humour and wit rather than aggression.

    Difficult when some bastard shows complete disregard for your safety on a bike.

    IHN
    Member

    TL;DR; some people are dicks[s]drive like utter bellends and it’s never their fault.[/s]

    PJM1974
    Member

    I will remember the pistols comment, that deserves to be forever part of Singletrack lore.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/oregon-duels-public-officials-law-republicans-state-senate-vote-alexander-hamilton-a7674826.html

    In other news, my rides and drives to work have been entirely free of aggression if not mis-attention as I did nearly get squished by a Simon Howies butcher van who didn’t notice me on my bike. Bloody IRONic if he’d made mincemeat out of me since I’d just shovelled down one of their wee black puddings for breakfast.

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    I ask him if he’s got any pistols

    devash
    Member

    I’d have taken the old lady’s details and reported him to 101. If nothing else they have the incident recorded when he inevitably does it again.

    Nico
    Member

    U OK, HUN?

    Now you’ve gone and made me smile. At work!

    redmex
    Member

    It must be Mercs rise your testosterone level as you sit on the front seat as i did once get threatened with a stabbing from a driver of a merc in a busy Leith st a couple of years ago as we held him up for a couple of minutes on the damp cobbles with 23mm road tyres, window rolled down, stopped to shout insult then squeal the tyres.It shocked one or two folk who heard it more than it did me or my partner maybe should have reported it but is it worth the hassle

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Subscriber

    Meanwhile in other news

    “Little old lady dragged from car and beaten to death after transit driver winds up bellend and then does a runner”

    The pistols comment was genius. I’ll add that to my stock of witty retorts to remember when it’s too late to actually use.

    And I’ll remember not to upset any transit drivers in Belper.

    Junkyard
    Member

    2) weight & height is everything in the early part of a fight, he was fat and unfit but it was really hard to keep his early wild swings at bay

    I think you will find its speed and technique πŸ˜‰

    Jamie
    Member

    going on holiday monday :0) haha thats my excuse for not doing big dropoffs on the pushbike

    Genuine lol.

    Also, 36 replies and no-one has posted a switcheroo thread from the POV of the Merc driver?

    C’mon…standards, people!

    jonnyboi
    Member

    hey! you try mincing round a raging lardy bull in roadie shoes πŸ˜‰

    In hindsight I was quite calm as soon as the swinging started, His wife was trying to drag him away and I was worried about her getting hurt, and it wasn’t until he pushed her away and really started trying to hurt me that I starting hitting him.

    Premier Icon igm
    Subscriber

    Living in North Yorkshire there’s always a chance that they might have duelling equipment of some sort with them. Or st least a shotgun.

    I’ll skip the pistols comment just in case.

    Mr Woppit
    Member

    Lots of super agro drivers near me yesterday, blaring horns and taking roundabouts like Lewis Button.

    Must be pissed-off Brexiteers fed up that Britain hasn’t yet regained the empire and gone to war with Germany. Or France. After all, it’s nearly been a whole month since A50 was bejiggered.

    Handy hint for any future pugilistic shenanigans. Tap yourself lightly with the flat of your hand over your ear hole. Increase the force until it becomes too uncomfortable. It won’t take much.

    Now imagine what your attacker would feel if you slapped him in the ear at full force…

    Hey ho. Let’s go.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    jonnyboi – I sometimes wonder how these things finish – did you leave him
    – lying in a pool of blood?
    – Backing off apologising?
    – being dragged away by his missus “Leave it Frank, ‘e ain’t worf it!”

    (2 in my memory, 1 was interrupted by handy passing copper before it could escalate and the other I pointed out to the fella (Merc driver iirc) who lobbed his sunglasses across the street that his kids were watching (I was wearing winter bike gear and you can’t fight someone whilst wearing leg warmers!) πŸ˜† ).

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