I have two dogs, one of them has always been a bit scatty in the back garden (racing around sniffing the ground and getting into a lather) so I have always assumed that animals must wander around the garden at night.

I usually leave a pair of shoes outside the back door to go down to the outbuildings. The other night a pair of the kids football boots were also left out. In the morning all four pieces of footwear were strewn around the garden. I grabbed the football boots but left my shoes on the lawn. I forgot about them the next night and then grabbed them the following morning only to find that something had crapped in them (not a dog turd).

Last night I put one of the dog baskets outside of the back door as it needed washing. Guess what – this morning I noticed that something had crapped in the basket (see exhibit A below).

My question: Is there anyone in the house who can identify this excrement vandal? Is it fox poo, badger???

What does it smell like ?

baby robin?

Fox.

This any use?

What does it taste like? If it tastes like nuts it may be squirrel but if it tastes like chicken then maybe fox.

Vagrant?

That’s definitely Manbearpig shit

Someone pooed in your shoes, boy did you piss someone off!! 😯

Comparing that against the Bristol stool scale I think it means you need to see a doctor

I’d say fox, we had a fox that’d crap in our garden from time to time, it looks remarkably similar.

Someone pooed in your shoes, boy did you piss someone off!!

I can still remember pissing in my dad’s shoes when I was 3 as I couldn’t open the bedroom door. It didn’t go down too well…

One of my mates kids shat in one of his shoes (Kimbers. Where are you?). Turns out he was a bloody good shot. Daddies fault for forgetting the potty

Otter.

Giant Anteater. Or fox.

What does it smell like ?

I have to admit that I did have a sniff, I somehow could not stop myself. I would describe it as ‘bloody awful’. I have had dogs for 20 years and kids for 12 years and have had many heavy nights out but the smell was disgusting. I cannot be anymore descriptive than that.

Someone pooed in your shoes, boy did you piss someone off!!

I was genuinely p’eed off when I found the dump in my shoes. I have had them for years and I was quite attached to them. The phantom crapper new how to get at me! Not only does it make one of my dogs go barmy it also drops its load into my old faithfuls.

I reckon its a cat, those evil little shite filled bags of hate will crap anywhere

Honeybadger?

Have 3 cats, they only ever use the cat tray so I am pretty familiar with all the cat shit variants, it is definitely not cat shite.

From your description of the smell its either fox or yeti

both have the worst smelling poo I’ve ridden through

I think your cats must be fed well then. Have unfortunately seen the odd example similar to that in the gravel of our drive. Pretty sure it is cats in our case.

I reckon its a cat, those evil little shite filled bags of hate will crap anywhere

A cat near me had a canny habit of leaving little ‘presents’ in the most inconvenient places. It even managed to shit on the low power DC cable that ran along the ground to power the cat scarer.

I think you should call it Nigel.

to clean up

I would describe it as ‘bloody awful’. I have had dogs for 20 years and kids for 12 years and have had many heavy nights out but the smell was disgusting. I cannot be anymore descriptive than that.

It’s definitely shit then. What about texture and composition – any fibrous material or undigested seeds ?

Student?

What about texture and composition – any fibrous material or undigested seeds ?

There was something that looked like a tooth in it!

Taste nutty?

Squirrel. Try it.

There was something that looked like a tooth in it!

Is that it at about 7 o’clock on the turd ? Can you isolate it to make a positive identification ? Lolly sticks are good for prodding around in turds 💡

Thats a Sultana. Its a Carribean Squirrel mon.

Is that it at about 7 o’clock on the turd ? Can you isolate it to make a positive identification ? Lolly sticks are good for prodding around in turds

Yes, that is the item. The offending turd is now in the wheelie bin and ready for disposal tomorrow so no further inspections are possible.

I should add some scale to the photo. The splat is approx 8cm across.

The offending turd is now in the wheelie bin …….no further inspections are possible.

Dammit.

I reckon there will be more to come.

The foxes in my grandad’s garden made a point of pooing on anything left on the lawn. So I’d say fox.

eruptron – Member
Honeybadger?

It bloody well wasn’t!

I prefer a more stealthy approach.

What about texture and composition – any fibrous material or undigested seeds?

Are you Gillian McKeith?

I know it wasnt me as you have a lawn ,you mentioned shoes on the lawns all the gardens i shat in were overgrown jungle type affairs

do you have cctv i know that is what the golden craphouse chinese used to catch me when i pissed up against their shop….even though it was closed at the time . It didnt stop them printing a picture and what could only be some kind of slur against me in ….possibly mandarin

Oh well 20 years older and wiser but sorry i cant help with your poo as it was a long time ago and was often dark

I bet it was Eamonn Holmes.

do you have cctv

Tempted to get a camera just to see who/what is the phantom dumper.

I bet it was Eamonn Holmes.

Too small