Due to the escalating gang wars and the daily threat to the lives of ordinary citizens from the legions of crack zombies the small south lakes town where I grew up is having to take drastic action. Located on the notorious North East side of town, which has the highest crime rate anywhere in the north east of the town, these fortresses of the righteous middle management will stand as resolute bastions of justice and freedom amongst the anarchy.

I might be overreacting a bit. But WTF?

http://www.nwemail.co.uk/news/ulverston/Ulverston-luxury-gated-housing-development-revealed-8e7699df-045d-48ef-9caf-6044fc56c680-ds

luxury, eh?

Gates on a fairly standard looking cul-de-sac. That would be a pain, wouldn’t it?

Wait for it to be built,
Wait for the ‘gated gentry’ to move in,
Wait for them to shut the gates.

Then put your own massive padlock on the gates. 😈

I had a non-paying client that lived in one of these. I went round at 4am and put a heavy, armoured motorcycle chain and padlock round the gates.

I then waited around until around 8am and explained to the angry mob that had gathered, why it had happened and who was responsible before driving off.

from 375k? wouldn’t get a flat round here. not sure how its going to stop people hopping over the wall either

We’ve got a load of them down here, miserable places full of UKIP voters and keep off the lawn signs, I HATE them, makes me feel uncomfortable that they exist.

You can drive, cycle and walk through them as long as you say you’re accessing the beach. Always an overzealous keyring man on the gate asking why you want to go to the beach.

Not for me.

We have a couple of those gated estates near me in Bromley.
£375k wouldn’t buy you a garden shed though.. You’d need near £2m to get through the gate, and £5m for one of the big places.

Not for me.. if I spend £2m upwards on a house I’d want to be far enough away from my neighbours that I couldn’t hear them arguing/shagging.

I live in one and quite frankly wouldn’t live anywhere else.

You should have seen the state of some of those turning up for our swingers parties where we used to live.

Gates? Pfft! I’ve got a moat full of sharks

I always feel a bit of sympathy towards folk who think they need to live behind gates.

There’s one next door to us, seems weird as it’s just like any other cul de sac on the street, except it has a gate on it, which occasionally breaks down.

On the plus side there’s usually kids riding scooters/bikes down it as cars have to stop for the gate.

@nickb Like prisoners? 😛

Gates? Pfft! I’ve got a moat full of sharks

I thought you lived in the gated cul de sac on Bolton Rd West?

The one where dog walkers chuck bags of dog poo over the wall

I lived in a gated community once. Everyone kept turning the gates off as they didn’t want to pay £75 for a fob every time they lost one and couldn’t get in, used to drive me mad!

My father always laughed at the gated community his sister still lives in, in the US of A. Built to keep ‘them’ out, they would then proceed to pay the lowest wages possible to the guards, who would inevitably end up being made up of “them”.

WHy, just why? Maybe they’ve seen a post Brexit future and its all a bit Tina Turner-ey

“Come my people let us go up Gill Banks for a bong in the bushes, then we lay waste to Mill Dam Park!”

Its the same thing here in Panama. These build these supposedly safe gated communities and then have a security guard earning $300/month as the gatekeeper. Guess who usually is the one setting people up to get robbed….

It’s “luxury”

A bit like all 1 and 2 bedroomed flats now being “luxury apartments”.

A rabbit warren with a gate, interesting.

Ha ha, quarter arsed at best, my folks live in a ‘gated community’ there’s a 12ft high wall and guards armed with AKs, and that’s in peace time, when there was a popular uprising a few years ago they created an outer cordon of tanks.

Really, it’s a dick head move, what’s it got? a 4ft, 6ft wall? is that going to stop someone who wants to rob you? If I were a bandit I’d love it, hop over the wall and you’ve got a nice quiet spot to break in. No. It gives a false sense of security to the terminally scared and a sense of superiority to the terminally insecure.

It seems to be the way things are going though, a lot of newer estate near me whilst not advertised at such are ‘walled’ they’re arranged in such as fashion that the perimeter walls of the outlying houses create a single unbroken wall around the whole site leaving only one road in and out, it cuts down on traffic as there’s nothing to drive through to, but it also lets house builders sell houses for me in slightly rougher areas because it feels isolated, the gates are the next logical step, I’ve also noted that lots of of the big houses near me on the main roads are now surrounded by big electric gates, not long ago people paid a lot more to live there, it was a bit of a boast to live on that road, everyone could drive by and see your faux mini Bavarian castle, now they want to hide away.

I wonder who pays for the upkeep of the roads in these gated communities, is it another private when it suits, but public when the pit holes need fixing roads?

No thanks. Looks like a prison. I’d not get on with the sort of people who need to live behind walls.

It’s “luxury”

A bit like all 1 and 2 bedroomed flats now being “luxury apartments”.

One of the best things about the post economic meltdown world is that you can now park your car on bits of waste ground in Manchester city centre for 3 quid a day again. Instead of them all being boarded off with the developers shouting that it had been earmarked for a ‘Landmark Development’. I suppose that ‘Landmark Development’ always sounds better than ‘Shonky Identikit Block of Flats We’re Going to Chuck up in Five Minutes then Charge a Fortune For’ 😀

Reminds me of this…

The X Files, Arcadia.

I used to live in one. It had men in uniforms to look after you, free meals and the chance to earn qualifications for free! The only downsides were the group showers and forced exercise.

group showers and forced exercise

In the showers?

Anyway, I’ll go ‘look’ at these, there’s a 50:50 chance I need to move to nr Ulverston area soon