My (ex) postie

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  • My (ex) postie
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    I mean moving to Hebden Bridge

    Does this really mean you’re becoming a Lesbian ex-postie?

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    In which case you’ll fit in just fine 😉


    I’ve got a nice little story.

    I used to go out riding dead early in the morning. Quick 15 miler round local trails. I used to go through some local woods where I started passing this rotund Indian couple. They were both quite large and lurched and shook along the path. They were both sweating massively and would stop every 20 or 30 metres to rest and be sick. Running was not something they were used to.

    By the end of the summer the lady had stopped coming out but the bloke was still there most mornings, a little bit lighter, a little bit easier on his feet. He would always say a very cheery hello. After summer I broke my knee and was off the bike for three months.

    On my return to cycling I started riding again in the mornings. One day this guy comes bounding down the path towards me. He’s a little plump and he’s a bit sweaty but , it’s the same bloke. he’s lost a MASS of weight and now looks like he is enjoying himself. He’s also got his stunning daughter (or perhaps his new wife) with him now. As the new year runs on he gets slimmer and slimmer and by the end of that summer he is moving gazelle-like down the path looking like a serious long distance athlete.

    As that year came to a close he stopped appearing on the trails but I hope he’s out there somewhere, bouncing effortlessly along some dirt track.

    Our ex-postie was a complete nobber.

    He used to leave parcels on the doorstep, concealing them by lifting the door mat and leaning it against the door. Not at all obvious to passing opportunists…

    I don’t see our current postie as he doesn’t arrive until about 3pm.


    I’ve got a mate from the Greek island of Lesvos…

    ….so technically he’s a Lesbian.


    Lesvian surely? 😛

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