My Daftest Bike Accident

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 57 total)
  • My Daftest Bike Accident
  • Thought I’d see how easy it is to manual on my daughter’s Orbea 20 inch mtb. 10 seconds later I’m flat on my back and completely winded. Didn’t even think to cover the rear brake for some reason. Couldn’t speak for about thirty seconds – it’s been so long since I’d been winded that I’d forgotten that you can’t seem to breathe properly initially.

    Can anyone raise me a dafter self inflicted accident?


    Premier Icon seadog101

    Battled with a stubborn tyre and tyre lever. Lever sprang off and somehow smacked me of the bridge of my nose, drawing much blood.

    Premier Icon seosamh77

    200 metres after leaving my maw’s hoose, heading through the wee lane as I’ve done a million times before, a wee kitten jumps right in front of my wheel, sharp endo… just. about. held. it. Nup, wallop! Straight into the concrete!

    The cat was fine. 😆

    So was I too mind you, just wasn’t expecting it!

    Premier Icon andytheadequate

    I tried to turn off the lock on my hydration bladder so I could have a drink, and it was a bit stiff so used two hands. It wasn’t until I dramatically jumped off my bike on a really tame bit of trail that I remembered I couldn’t ride very long with ho hands on the bars…

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout

    I was accelerating out of Glentress car park at the start of a coaching course.
    I have no idea what happened, I just went over the bars. Going uphill. Clipped in. On a bike I had owned for 4 years.

    Prize plum.


    Similar to Seosamh above, but off-road. Epping Forest, autumn, a smooth sea of golden-brown leaves. And a ditch hidden beneath.

    Front wheel went into the ditch and stopped dead. Instant unplanned endo. Came to a stop at the exact balance point… Held it for what seemed like forever, unable to figure out how to dismount, then slowly toppled forwards OTB.

    At least it was a soft landing, but unfortunately there were lots of amused witnesses.

    Premier Icon thorpey0

    Cleaning my bike, I decided to put my ring finger in the front brake rotor with the wheel spinning. If anyone is thinking of doing the same I can confirm it is rather sharp. Much hurt and a couple of stitches..

    Premier Icon sirromj

    Spent the evening fettling the full suss before a day trip to France for a group ride, along came the obligatory ‘test ride’ which took me down an alleyway with a small pile of rubble which I launched myself off sent it used to perform a tiny little jump. Landed the front wheel perfectly on the edge of a brick. OTB. Fractured wrist.


    Coming down an Atlas mountain pass in Morocco, steep, fast rocky descent – saw my mates camera lying on the trail ahead. For some inexplicable reason decided to try and scoop it up as I went past without stopping, like some sort of bike-rodeo trick. It didn’t end well, (although he did get his camera back and the blood wiped off easily enough).

    Premier Icon andytheadequate

    Also managed to go over the bars on a steep rocky climb, to the point where I scraped my chin on the front wheel.

    Not exactly sure how I did that, but I think I hit a small rock which stopped my momentum and I was leaning too far forward…

    early 90’s was riding back from trowbridge collegue. was wearing one of those ear!y foam bike helmets with a cover. thought i recognised some people i had known at school. didn’t want them to see me wraring said helmet so looked away as i was riding towards them.

    didn’t see the car trailer that i promptly rode into the back off and rolled off the top of it and onto the main road colt seavers stylee.

    got back up and said people were bent over double laughing (i didn’t know them at all it turned out lol).

    straightened my bars on my dawes ascent and went on my way sheepishly.


    Just remembered a worse one… Dropped my son at daycare, it was an in-home place by the estuary and we used to ride along a nice off-road path by the water and then go up their steep-ish garden path. I always rode up the path to a hairpin, where I could leave the bike out of sight of the estuary path.

    Riding back down this steep path one day I failed to spot a low tree branch which was pointing straight towards me at head height. The end was about the thickness of a finger, hit me square on the forehead then slid under my helmet. My reaction was to try to pull my head back to unhook it, but due to moving forward I couldn’t, so got slowly dragged off the bike backwards and fell on my arse.


    Glentress 7 as a pair.

    Right on the gravel bit before transition i thought to my self.

    “Take the dibber off now for edficient speed”

    So i took my right hand off the bars and reached for the dibber on my left wrist. As my fingers gripped the dibber I pulled hard. Predictable result is predictable. Managed to flip myself over the bars and under the bike. Like sack of spuds i hit the deck. The crowd went WILD.

    Premier Icon tthew

    Riding around that epic black route at Centre Parcs near Penrith, 🙄 I decided to roll over a nicely graded pile of road stone. Except they’d dug out the back of it.

    Damaged knee, wrist, glasses derailleur and much hilarity from the in-laws, which was frankly the worst thing.

    Stopped on roadbike at bottom of hill to investigate creaking (BB knackered) got back on failed to clip in, foot slipped off pedal back of leg went down chainring slicing it open, hospital, kept in over night, surgery to clean and stitch then in plaster for a month.

    Premier Icon paladin


    Cleaning my bike, I decided to put my ring finger in the front brake rotor with the wheel spinning. If anyone is thinking of doing the same I can confirm it is rather sharp. Much hurt and a couple of stitches..

    i did that.
    it yanked the nail bed out tho, that bit wasnt too sore.
    getting it pushed back in at stornoway A&E though, THAT was painful.

    Premier Icon benp1

    In my local park where i used to walk the dog

    Practising bunny hops, can manage about an inch now, tired you do one from side to side while riding. Turns out I couldn’t, big crash. While someone was watching. Idiot

    Practising wheelies, still can’t, using a 29er with a 26er fork and a front tyre that was too flat, came down with the wheel at an angle, tyre dug in and I went OTB. Idiot. Not wearing gloves either so hands quite bloody. Idiot

    Premier Icon twonks

    Daftest one for me was many years ago.

    Riding over t’ North Yorkshire moors on a rather blustery day when my mate and I stopped at the crest of a hill in open space. It was so windy that we were angled over quite far just to stay balanced against the side wind.

    Laughing like schoolboys, the wind suddenly stopped and we both fell slap bang onto the rocky path. I kept laughing, my mate not so much. He’d broken 2 ribs and bruised a few more. oops. And he was going on holiday the week after. oops 2

    Very nearly had an embarrasing and expensive stupid moment this weekend. Riding the new ish Stegosaurus rocky bit at Cannock, got the front wheel held up over the second bit and bike stopped dead. Endo time and just managed to clip out and come to a rest with little drama. Couldn’t get going again and flapped about slipping before deciding to walk a few yards and then recompose myself.

    Wouldn’t be a problem normally and I’ve done it countless times yet, this time when there was a group of riders being coached about 10 seconds behind me – I managed to look a complete tit …


    Went to Bedgebury to test ride a Whyte from Quench. Threw leg over and bounced about to see if suspension was anywhere near right, tapped front brake and went straight OTB. Had ridden it a total of 30 feet. Front fork was a touch soft…

    Premier Icon theotherjonv

    another Centreparcs one, this one at Longleat. I had my bike with the kids bike seat on the back rather than a hire and I had been dispatched to pick up a takeaway, but as it was quiet in the evening and I had a bit of time I thought I’d see how good the little switchback descent with the humpback bridges was. Pretty good, as it turns out, you can get quite a bit of air off the bridges…..unfortunately as I was using the bike as transport, I’d fitted crap flats for the week, and after 20-odd years of spds the feeling of feet disconnecting from the pedals, and then trying and failing to reconnect, was still as nothing compared to the feeling of balls disconnecting and then reconnecting with saddle.


    Caught front wheel on a pebble ( tiny) just after first wooden bridge at cwmcarn & fell in the river.

    Canonmills in Edinburgh. Pulled up as light turned red, track stand through full light cycle. Fell over as they turned green. Guy in car behind almost wet himself laughing.

    Premier Icon bikebouy

    I used to ride up the Lea Valley from Canary Wharf, there are a number of canal bridges that were built back in the early Victorian era… all of them built with horses in mind so are fairly shallow in gradient but have brick ridges so the horses could get a little purchase with their hoofs… and over the years have become well worn and very slippery and shiny.

    So you’d expect you’d take it easy heading up and over them wouldn’t you..? Well normal people do… except i’d be riding it pretty much flat chat all along there..

    At the Hackney Marshes area it’s fairly busy with families and folks walking along the river, so I’d alway slow down and ease past those playing poo sticks on the bridges… anyway I approached one particular shiny surfaced bridge at less than walking pace and both wheels went from under me and sideways leaving me flailing like a falling squirrel with arms and legs frantically trying to unclip and BAM!

    Landed flat on my face onto a flagstone and broke my nose.

    An audience arrived to see me frantically trying to unclip lying on my back with the CXer still firmly attached to my feet..

    Time passed very very slowly on that ride.


    Premier Icon mattbee

    As a student in Birmingham I once went up to North Wales for a weekend camping and riding. I went by train with a huge rucksack on my back with all my kit in.

    On the way home and knackered I was spinning up Broad Street when I had to stop at a pedestrian crossing. I didn’t unclip. Cue slow fall to my left, leaving me lying on the pavement.  I lay on my side with the bike pinned between my legs, the weight of the rucksack meaning I struggled to move. Had to ask a passer by to help pull the bike from between my legs so I could get back up again.

    Premier Icon bodgy

    Bomb-hole drop in Beverley Westwood. Screwed the line, over over the bars somersault into bramble thicket, landing flat on my back. I was alright . . . until I moved. Had to be cut out by mates. Once they’d stopped laughing.


    It’s always stupid low speed stuff for me. Once I failed to un-clip my shoe… From a flat pedal… The shoe rubber was stuck in pedal pins and I toppled over.

    Premier Icon lunge

    Gently pottering along a canal tow-path. Lost concentration, front wheel hit a rut, I went over the bars and into the canal. The positive was the canal was only waist deep, the negative was that there was a group of runners behind me who saw it all and couldn’t contain their laughter.


    My personal daftest moment was rolling out of garage on my newly built Stooge, i had gone over it i thought making sure everything was right and was going for the usual up and down the road test to get saddle and bars right. Didn’t realise i had fitted the brakes…..just not the brake pads.. so went to brake and nothing happened, hit the curb at speed and went over the bars and rolled into a neighbours garden, just as she and her kids were stepping out the front door, but it did give her kids a good laugh!

    But mate surpassed me, he rolled out of the very same garage at mine on this lovely brand spanking new Specialized Shiv TT bike, where he had borrowed some of my tools (the type that can afford a £7k bike but not a set of decent allen keys), turned onto main road and out of my sight….then came back about 4 minutes later carrying two halves of the bike and a bloody face, he had got into TT position, cranked up the speed and rode straight into the back of a parked Tesco delivery van with enough force to snap the frame!!

    Premier Icon NewRetroTom

    I was riding alongside my mate on a wide, smooth path, cruising along, chatting away. Next thing I knew we had drifted too close together and my handlebar had somehow got stuck under the end of my mate’s bars.
    We were stuck together riding along for what felt like ages, but was probably about 20 metres and then my bars were violently spun round (think my mate must have touched the brakes) and I was catapulted over the front. No major injuries, but lots of cuts and scrapes.


    First ever MTB with hydraulic brakes – had already described to girlfriend of the time and her parents how amazing they were and then promptly did a textbook OTB onto their tarmac drive……


    Managed to end up going in reverse down steep grassy bank at Dovestones reservoir on a summer evening with a decent audience many calls for an encore.

    Hob Nob

    Valley Trail in Whistler. I was riding to the park. The valley trail is literally a tarmac 2 way cycle path that meanders its way around the valley, linking up areas.

    It has HUGE yellow metal barriers interspersed along it, to stop vehicles driving down there.

    To this day, I don’t know what I was thinking, but I managed to ride into one, have a massive crash & break my wrist spectacularly, 6 weeks into a 4 months season. To compound my stupidity, I carried on riding for the summer. It hurt, a lot.

    Premier Icon Yak

    I used to regularly break new wheels on their first ride through stupidity mostly. This led to an unreasonable apprehension about getting new wheels. Anyway, with another new wheelset I did a ride in the snow around the peak. All went fine on the trails.
    On a road descent nearing home I noticed the front mech was frozen and not shifting, so I thought I would ‘ease’ it into movement with my foot. Obviously the inevitable happened and I hit a bump and my foot shot into the rear wheel. I was thrown forward and off to one side of the bike, sliding whilst the bike was still upright with my foot still jammed. 5 spokes snapped over my foot before the wheel locked up. Ooof, very sore, but mostly I felt like an idiot and had broken yet another new wheel.

    Premier Icon DezB

    I’ve still not managed to beat a frame falling off my garage wall and smacking me in the eyebrow, causing a boxer-style cut.
    All other crashes are from pushing the limits. Well, my limits, which are pretty low 🙂

    Premier Icon doomanic

    First time at Mallards, first trail, right at the bottom where it opened out onto a fireroad. I didn’t like the look of the last off camber, washed out, been so decided to huck off it onto the fireroad. It was only as my front wheel touched down that I saw the wire fence…

    Graceful OTB onto a fortunately soft landing to much applause from my new riding mates.

    Premier Icon svladcjelli

    Newest daftest: showing off by doing a trackstand halfway across a narrow single-log bridge. Lost balance, put foot down, nothing to put foot on, toppled over.

    Stupidest daftest: as a youngster (in the days of Raleigh Grifters) my bar was coming loose so lots of fun was had by my mates kicking the front wheel to the side so I’d have to stop and re-straighten the bar. Until the time I thought I’d just kick the wheel back in line myself. Leaned forward, kicked the wheel, missed the tyre and put my foot through the spokes instead. OTB. My pals burst out laughing, then stopped and went white when they saw the blood spurting out of me.

    Took Mrs M out for her first night ride (halogen lamps were the cutting edge back then…..).  Rolling at walking pace down the Eastbourne Mile into Jevington at walking pace looked back over my shoulder to see how she was getting on and hit a large flint and stopped, failed to unclip, toppled over and as I was holding onto the bar ends at this point I landed still attached to the bike by four points, snapping my brand new Maxm carbon bars imported from America at exorbitant cost and landing on another large flint with my hip and bruising it badly.

    I hadn’t ridden my PRST-1 for a few years and dragged it out the shed for a check over.  All seemed OK so took it for a quick spin down the road in flip flops and shorts.  Tapped the front brake forgetting the PRST-1 likes to nose dive, straight over the bars onto the road.  I bashed my head hard enough to see stars and badly scuffed myself.  PRST-1 stuck in the shed and only ever gets looked at now.

    A trackstand fail whilst using spds resulted in me landing chest first on top of my own handlebars.

    I fractured my sternum and spent the night in Rhyl A & E hooked up to an ECG as they thought I might have done something to my heart with the accidental chest compression.

    I still have a nice circular dent on my sternum to remind me of my folly…

    Premier Icon richmtb

    An enduro event at Glentress. Start of the stage was narrow natural single track across some moorland above Spooky Wood, not remotely technical. About halfway through this section there was a big patch of rutted peaty mud.

    I figure I’m going so quick I’ll just lean back and skim through like a hero and set an epic time.

    Cue the front wheel digging in and me flying over the bars, doing a passable impression of a ballistic object. I went a pretty long way, thankfully the ground was pretty soft and the impact was pretty mild.

    The same can’t be said for the clobbering I got off my bike a fraction of a second later!

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 57 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.