My brothers stag do this weekend what evil do I bestow

  • This topic has 37 replies, 30 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by  yunki.
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  • My brothers stag do this weekend what evil do I bestow
  • I was thinking sleep dep and poss water boarding?

    Anyone got any idea’s

    He works for an offshore survey company that is evil as there health and safety senior manager he’s 26 and a pain in the arse.

    Suggestions please?

    My stag do was the weekend before the wedding, so my mates brought the darkest fake bake tan they could lay their hands on, and plastered me in it while I was drunk and asleep.
    Thing is, they only did half of my body.
    After they’d covered me, they then read the instructions which said for best results to exfoliate first. So they woke me up, telling me they’d had a change of heart and that I’d better wash it off as I was really brown.
    I promptly jumped into the shower and scrubbed like mad trying to get clean, after about 15 minutes I got back into bed vowing that I was going to get them once they were asleep. Anyhow I fell asleep first and they gave me a second coat all over my now freshly scrubbed body.
    I woke up the next morning in a drunken haze and caught sight of myself in the mirror. My mate still pisses himself recalling me asking ” why the f@@k am I brown?”
    It took a week of scrubbing 2 to 3 times a day to return to a normalish colour, though I still went on honeymoon with brown knuckles and 1 tanned foot!

    Love it and sorry for your pain pocketrocket lol

    Come people I’m normally good at this sort of thing but need to up my game

    Premier Icon bruk
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    Medical friends once planned on a urinary catheter, plaster of Paris ‘nappy’ cast but with a poo hole just too small to poo through. Never trust doctors.

    Modern version of tar and feather, cover in golden syrup then cheap down duvet roll?

    Bruk that is disgusting so anyone know a doctor in the Lowestoft area that could help that happen lol

    unovolo
    Member

    Amongst other ideas put crushed Viagra in his breakfast and drinks everyday and leave him with a Mankini to wear for the weekend.
    The results should make for a uncomfortable experience.

    luke
    Member

    I’d suggest not using cable ties to hand cuff him if the wedding is the next day, as the more resistance the tighter they get, and will cut in to the arm.

    Is there a local ferry port, leaving him naked with just his passport and on his way to mainland Europe.

    In this modern age of social media damage can be caused, after being appointed photographer for my mates stag do, I discovered a stripper had been hired, I also knew my mate would object strongly, but as photographer it was my job to take photo’s, a few arty angles and him struggling looked like anything but him struggling, tagging his at the time fiancee in on Facebook whilst the others slept that night, did the damage and it took a while to convince her that he wasn’t doing various things.

    Premier Icon kimbers
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    We signed my mate up for a charity rum round Liverpool docks after 2 days heavy drinking in Liverpool, got all his workmates to sponsor on the proviso that he’d do it in a ballerina outfit
    He wasn’t too impressed after a couple of hours sleep, but he was compelled as he’d raised quite a not of cash for charity

    Stevet1
    Member

    In this modern age of social media damage can be caused, after being appointed photographer for my mates stag do, I discovered a stripper had been hired, I also knew my mate would object strongly, but as photographer it was my job to take photo’s, a few arty angles and him struggling looked like anything but him struggling, tagging his at the time fiancee in on Facebook whilst the others slept that night, did the damage and it took a while to convince her that he wasn’t doing various things.

    Hilarious.

    ianfitz
    Member

    Also depends on whether he’ll have the chance to attend your stag do in the future…

    dbcooper
    Member

    My husband has done a few of these and has some simple rules.

    1) in the interests of protecting the brides interest in the stag he cannot go anywhere without holding the hand of someone else in the stag party. This includes the loo, bar etc. Some special dispensations can be allowed – ie when dragged up on stage by a stripper, or when playing hunt the stag in paintball.
    2) Supply the stag with 2 off (one for each day, as the first will get trashed)pink or purple full body leotards to be worn at all times.Some special dispensations can be allowed – ie when wearing his evening outfit which might be even worse.
    3) what goes on tour stays on tour..

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    My mates words as we started his
    “Just remember none of you lot are married yet”

    richc
    Member

    Worst story I’ve heard is someone who had their stag somewhere in Eastern Europe, at the end of a night of heavy drinking one of the party had arranged a little stunt that involved them all being invited to an underground party a little way out of the city, they all dutifully piled into a taxi van and were then driven out of the city to some wooded wasteland, the blokes taking them to the party then pulled guns on them and walked them into the woods to a spot with some holes dug in the ground and got everyone to strip naked and kneel in front of the graves then when the tension was at max the ‘joker’ shouted surprise…..

    Apparently the icing on the cake was he had also arranged for it to be videoed as a memento and sent it around to numerous people as well as being shown in the pub they were in the next day.

    Personally I would have given the bloke the beating of his life, but that’s just me.

    Next worst story involved dressing as morris men and a spot of bare knuckle gypsy boxing at Dorset steam fair…

    Premier Icon annebr
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    I heard of a stag once tied naked to a paddock fence genitals smeared in honey and a suckling calf released into paddock.

    Extensive bruising apparently.

    Stevet1
    Member

    but did the calf recover?

    lowey
    Member

    Similar to richC, mate of mine whilst in one of the baltic states was arrested, driven bindfolded to a “Police Cell” where they stripped and interrogated him. They then got out pliers, blowtorch and bolt crops and laid them on the table.

    Not my idea of fun at all.

    bigrich
    Member

    everyone shaves off thier pubes and then use them and superglue to create a beard onto the drunken stag.

    Premier Icon Sundayjumper
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    Handcuff him to a friend for the duration.

    Premier Icon Cougar
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    You know,

    I’m as open-minded as they come, and the sort of bloke who will give pretty much anything a go. Over the years I’ve jumped out of planes, driven single-seater race cars, fired hand-guns and done plenty of other things which frankly I’m not going to repeat on here. And yet.

    I really don’t get this concept of your mates inflicting stuff on you that you really wouldn’t wish on your own worst enemy. I look back on my stag do as a great day / night out with a bunch of people who are very dear to me. Amongst other things we went quad biking, had a curry, and sampled the wares of various Manchester hostelries. We chatted, we laughed, we drunkenly put the world to rights (again). At no point did I find myself thinking, “you know, all I need now is a spot of enforced bovine horatio with my mates’ public rabbits glued to my face before being thrown on a cross-channel ferry and the night would be perfect.”

    Maybe I’m just getting old. But I went on my stag knowing that it’d be a broadly civilised affair and that my friends wouldn’t be plotting for me to end the night in jail or covered in Nutella and thrown down Canal Street. That’s kinda why they’re my friends.

    Premier Icon convert
    Subscriber

    A bit of light social awkwardness…

    Assuming he has no money on him send him into a newsagents or garage shop (that you have already scoped out) with an envelope. In the envelope is instructions to buy a specific jazz mag (hidden at the back of the pile) and a pocket pack of kleenex (usually kept behind the desk so he’ll have to ask for them) and the money to buy them in small change. There is 10p too little so he has to barter to avoid failure and forfeit. Works best when the shop is busy and somewhere he might have to return in the future.

    Premier Icon howsyourdad1
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    total LOL at Convert

    Ro5ey
    Member

    This time last year I made my groom wear roller boots all evening ….

    They looked something like the above and I got him little girly pink knee and elbow pads…

    Helps if you are going to be moving about the town you are in…. and make sure you take out a pair of shoes… cus doubt you’ll be allowed into a club at the end of the night.

    bigrich
    Member

    Fun police, thy name is a colloquialism for a sexually adventurous senior female.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    Fun ones, meet for a couple of drinks
    Then 30 minute charity shop challenge £10 for your evenings outfit the groom gets theirs picked by everyone else.

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
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    I’m with Cougar on this, all the stag do’s i’ve been on there have been some pretty hilarious shenanigans going on, but not done in a way to totally screw the stag. In fact it’s generally someone else doing it to themselves

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Fun police, thy name is a colloquialism for a sexually adventurous senior female.

    I fear my idea of “fun” may differ. I see nothing fun in abusing friends. Broadly because I’d like to keep them.

    The last “fun” stag do I went on wound up with the stag visiting A&E. How we laughed.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    Honestly my brother had his stag do, best man sent out the details other end of the country, best part of £500 I reckon needed to take part. Good job I was racing the mega instead, much better than a stag do with the Rugby boys.

    In the end it seems to be a bit of one upmanship with how far and how big you can go, if I ever need one I’ll be happy somewhere interesting that takes the currency on my wallet and serves good beer.

    johndoh
    Member

    Agrees with Cougar here.

    Saying that, I did end my stag night in the doorway of Travelodge stark naked apart from a polystyrene chip carton to cover my tackle whilst concurrently trying to fend off two girls as they discussed the size of my manhood and trying to convince the manager to let me in.

    Fortunately one of the guys on the weekend was pretty high up at Travelodge so by repeating his name frequently, the manager let me in.

    🙂

    scotia
    Member

    glad i had the best stag day/night ever with a little karting, food, lots of beers and some fun with my mates.

    the idea to ritually humiliate me, or even hurt me didnt cross their minds (barring some really light in jest and didnt bother me).

    i have no regrets on that day, it was great times spent with my mates.

    woke up with a roaring hangover but that was to be expected.

    i wouldnt participate in any of the above ‘tranditional’ lets screw with the stag. i respect my friends.

    sorry bigrich et al.

    Premier Icon lunge
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    My stag do involved rafting followed by clay pigeon shooting followed by a shed load of ale, some appalling dancing and a dirty donor kebab. It was a hell of a night, no-one got hurt or overly humiliated, everyone (including my dad and my father in law) had a wonderful time and everyone woke up with a steaming hangover. There was some dressing up but that was for the entire group, “smart but naughty” was the dress code, cue lots of horrible jackets, loud bow-ties and pink chino’s. Worked a treat.

    jimbobo
    Member

    do nothing. but make jeering noises overtime he drinks a drink bought by you, giggle overtime he comes back from the toilet and don’t look him in the eye, basically make him think its coming, but never actually bring it. then just as he’s about to walk down the aisle, stab him in the leg. He’ll love it!

    Stevet1
    Member

    I like your idea but fear you have mistakenly used overtime instead of every time.

    doris5000
    Member

    **** me, some awful stories on here.

    i suppose if that’s your sense of humour then fair play, but it’s so far removed from mine i can hardly believe anyone would enjoy it.

    like some of the other joyless miseries on here, my stag do involved mountain biking, sitting round a camp fire until 4am, drinking, smoking, eating and chatting crap. It was great and i loved every minute of it. But then i was 35 at the time. (if i’d been 25 it’d be fistfuls of recreational chemicals and half a dozen nightclubs)

    wrecker
    Member

    Some friends did a good one; they all dressed as gorillas, put the stag in a banana costume and chased him between pubs. Simple, no harm done and raised plenty of laughs.

    stevedoc
    Member

    I must have mellowed in my later years ,some real screw the stag stories , One of my best friends stags was 2 weeks ago , a couple of hours go carting and 11 hours in Castlefields Manchester in the sun getting quiet hammered seemed like a great day out for the 20 or so that came out , My stag was somewhat tamer , the day spent on my own in central Florida firing a Barret .50 and a bucket load of other toys only “Merica” have , but we did get married over there and spent the next 3 months living there so not all bad

    Premier Icon kcal
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    Glencoe for me and my friends – climb a hill, drink (and eat) at the Claichaig; be very ill (me); great weekend.
    Most other stag dos have been similar get-togethers, chat, golf or whatever, consumption of alcohol & food – suits me..

    yunki
    Member

    I saw a lovely photograph the other day of a ‘stag’ with all of his mates pubes superglued to his face.. 🙂

    I’d go for native american sweat lodge, primal scream therapy or an ayahuasca ceremony if I was gonna get involved in such a ritual before my nuptials

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