I’ve an inch long scar on my right index finger from trying to loosen a driveside crank bolt.

The amount of delaminated thumb nails I’ve got from trying to seat a wire bead tyre onto a ghetto tubeless setup makes for depressing realisation.

Might as well close the thread. Goot wins hands down!

Riding along on my road bike, and heard a ticking noise from the front. The computer sensor had shifted and was clicking on the magnet. In my infinite wisdom decided to reach down whilst moving to move it back. Bump, coupled with bladed spokes on aero wheel took the side of my thumb (still missing) when my hand went into the wheel. Had to have it strapped up in a sling for 6 weeks during which time I got gangrene in the wound. I have never smelled anything like it.

As a sign of true biker, I rode home and called an ambulance from there despite losing over a pint of blood on the way back for fear of my bike getting nicked!

“Sprained ankle due to riding over the one remaining strand of wire in an old fenceline”

I know exactly where that cheek is.

😯 😉

I stabbed myself in the face with a chisel once, trying to fit a star fangled nut whilst drunk.

“Sprained ankle due to riding over the one remaining strand of wire in an old fenceline”

Let me guess.. on the opposite side of the road to the bottom of Ellick Express.

Practicing wheelies (for some reason i can’t quite remember). Everything going fine, thought i’d try one last time.

Slammed down on pedals and pulled up bars at same time and flipped straight off back of bike onto my back. Fractured L1 and have been off bike since although slowly getting better.

Should know better at my age !

tears are rolling down my face at these “accidents” darwin award anyone, my list of injuries, 1, on a short ride we stop for chat guy front backs up and knocks into me 3 teeth of large chainring puncture skin still have the scars,2, as a kid a iahd an air rifle one day in garden a fly landed on my knee so i shot it at an angle but not enough of an angle still have that scar to, 3,outriding and going down a slope and get my shirt caught on a twig, bike carries on i hang from said twig by my shirt

Banged back of head on kitchen cupboard whilst wearing my helmet. Helmet rotated frowards and broke my Oakleys on the bridge of my nose. Blood and broken Oakelys everywhere.

🙄

This made me laugh

Nothing bike related recently but I did manage to punch myself in the nuts whilst folding up a duvet cover a few weeks back.

but anything else nut related has me cringing.

Not me, but my uncles have two not bike related ones, one displaying what you may call bad luck, the other a display of idiocy that my family has yet to surpass.

1st: like every single day previously he got up, showered, and sat in the buff on the blanket chest at the end of his bed to put his socks on. Except today for some reason he managed to get some nutsackskin in the crack between lid and box as he sat down and then the weight closing the crack trapped it with considerable ‘discomfort’, made worse by the fact that shifting weight to try and stand up only caused it to pull harder.

2nd: He sleepwalked one night (probably drunk) and fell downstairs and broke his leg. That’s not the story though. Some weeks later he decided to have a bath with his cast propped on the taps at the end. And then dropped off and let his leg fall into the bath. Knowing the b0ll0cking he’d get off the wife, he thought that drying it with a hairdryer would be a sensible option. So he blasted it until it got just too hot to stand and then took the heat away – without realising it wasn’t hot air, but hot water trapped in the cast that was ‘just too hot to stand’. Cue a second trip to A&E to get cast removed, minor burns treated, and then plaster refitted.

Much frantic corssing of legs at goots story.

slightly more mundane;

when we were kids one of my mates and been ‘mending’ his bike – as we were halfway down the nearest steep hill his saddle tilted straight back dropping his bum on to the back tyre with his feet still on the pedals.

It’s amazing how fast a pair of testicles trapped between a tyre and a seat stay bridge can slow a 14 year old down from 20+mph.

While cleaning an extremely tight SS chain i got my finger impaled on a tooth, trapped by the chain. It hurt