Prompted by my current predicament of having two fingers strapped together on my right hand due to a knackered middle finger ligament/tendon.

The cause of said injury? Wrapping an elastic band (more accurately, a little section of inner tube) around an inner tube that I’d just swapped out. Wrapped round once, fine. Went for a second (quite tight) wrap, something in my finger went pop, and when I looked at it it was pointing at a funny angle and I could see the tendon going around, rather than over, the knuckle. It really hurts 🙁

So, cheer me up, what’s the most pathetic way in which you’ve injured yourself?

Fingers Tim to the thread please.

Ah yes, I’d forgotten about him 🙂

Managed to remove the middle section of an index fingernail once, that was bloody painful. I was checking the alignment of my disc pads at the time, usually a harmless operation. Unless you are using your fingernail to check the pads, having first spun the wheel at full chat. I was really surprised as well 🙄

Spiral fracture to the bone that goes from my wrist to my ring finger, after getting it caught between the end of a bar end and a metal railing.

I’d borrowed a bike from a mate, gone into town for a few beers and was cycling back resting the palms of my hands on the end of the bar ends. My mate in front brakes suddenly for no reason (he was skidding around on his bmx). Cue mad panic to reach a brake, a bit of drunken wobbling and I trapped my left hand between a railing and the tip of the bar end. I ended up dragging my hand along the railing for a while, trapped by the bar end and it was bloody sore!
Trip to A&E next day confirmed a break and then had a cast up to my elbow for 6 weeks…..

Now can’t use my left hand as well as I could as the bone is shorter and messed it all up (and I’m left handed)!! Stupid Stupid Boy!!

Whilst tightening a Tyrap using flush cuts, I (obviously) cut through the tyrap and then embeded the flush cuts in my chin, my work collegue, rather than get me something to stem the flow of blood pissed himself laughing and **** off.

Karma stepped in the following day whilst he was stripping some brake calipers a piston blow out under pressure and brake fluid shot into his eye temporarily blinding him as he screamed in pain asking for eye wash I **** off. He was fine by the way

Broken scaphoid after skittling a group of schoolchildren on a nature ramble in an insane ‘chicken’ incident.

Broken rib after a pathetic attempt to pop off a little jump single-handed all cool like just because a couple of girls were walking the other way. Landed crossed-up went OTB and my bike cartwheeled past the bemused girls.

“I’m alright, it was deliberate!”

broke my little finger spinning my bike back onto it’s wheels after fixing a pinch flat at CyB. No idea how I did it, just thought that smarts at the time, swollen right up by the time we got back to the cottage.

My husband was servicing my bike, and he spun the wheel to check it was true. His hand slipped off the wheel into the brake disc, and the brake disc dragged his finger through the forks. The disc severed the upper joint on his finger cutting through the tendon. Hospital cut open his finger to find the other end of the tendon and stitched it back together under a local.

Nothing bike related recently but I did manage to punch myself in the nuts whilst folding up a duvet cover a few weeks back.

Getting my wife’s old Cannondale frame off the garage wall to sell (to Zedsdead, I think it was) – it fell on my head and nearly knocked me out.
Cut my eyebrow open.
Stupidest bike-related injury I’ve had 🙂

not bike related

I headbutted a shelf when I sneezed as I was reaching to get something off the shelf above it. A nice horizontal line across my forehead for a couple of hours.

Not fettling…

In work changing rooms after just having ridden in. Undoing Hump backpack cover, the elastic strap pinged and hit me straight in the nuts.

Colleagues arriving moments later wondered why I was doubled up on the floor dressed only in bibshorts with my hands round my gentlemen’s.

ouch ihn! i forgot to untension the drivetrain when removing the wheel from the slot dropout roadrat, like getting caught in a rat trap. got a scar across my calf from when i went off piste in cranham woods in 1987 and flicked some old barbed wire up which tore through the flesh.

Sprained ankle due to riding over the one remaining strand of wire in an old fenceline, two inches above ground level, which then flipped up so I caught my foot underneath it, in an aircraft-carrier-landing arrester-hook style.

*Bang* straight onto the deck as the bike trundled away into the undergrowth without me…

i once ran a stanley blade across my finger to check if it was still sharp before using it on some cable ties. it was 🙄 I apparently have a high IQ, but they don’t test for that sort of stuff.

chin gashed open while riding down an Alp, because I’d not noticed the brakes on my bike were set up euro-style. The best part is that I then carried on riding without realising for several more weekends, and in fact posted here blaming the resultant sketchiness on rubbish tyres (the tyres in question being Maxxis High Rollers).

interestingly the problem didn’t cause me simply to flip over the bars as you’d expect. The main effect of switching my brakes without realising was that I couldn’t seem to maintain any grip in corners or off-camber, so you’d slide out, and THEN go over the bars when you hit a tree or something.

Not bike related – managed to break my thumb sawing the bottom off the Christmas Tree last year.

I was fannyarsing around shortly before I was due in an exam, hunting for a bolt which I’d removed from my stem on my commuter the night before.
Upon finding it on the floor, I jumped up and cracked my noggin on the sharp corner of a bookshelf. It hurt and bled a lot, but I refitted the bolt and managed to cycle in.
Unfortunately when I got to uni, I attempted to pop a manual to impress some Spanish girls and the pedal thread fell out of the left crank arm causing me to fell onto a concrete ledge and badly bruise my bum cheek (and ego).

Needless to say I did not achieve the first class honours I had hoped for.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2614&id=1336223004&l=20badda818

Warning – Blood and Gore!

The brother in law dislocated his knee whilst trying to get on my road bike. Painful for him apparently, my mate and I found it quite ammusing tbh. lol

Melted shorts, and brake disc shaped burn on my bum from falling off and then back onto the bike 3/4s of the way down the Mega qualifier.

Went to Cwmcarn Tuesday evening, decided I couldn’t be bothered to get off the bike to go through the very last stile. Caught my riding shoe on a fencing stud on the stile as I rolled through, ripped my shoe to bits and twisted my knee.

Cycling into work one morning along the canal path, distracted by the photogenic look of the Lemington Lift Bridge in the nice morning light I cycled straight into one of those gates designed to stop traffic entering the path. 😳

Left leg got jammed underneath the angled bit and a few thick paint drips gouged 6″ grooves in my thigh. Lost a small chunk out of the flesh on my knee too. Seems a whole can of spray plaster can’t patch that sort of thing back up, just gives it a nice shiny look 😀

Went over the bars in the peaks. Brake lever went into nads. Ripped open the ‘sack’ and ended up with nuts dangling on ‘strings’ . Tucked them back in , lots of blood.

Worse thing is, I was on my own, in a new place. freezing weather.

Very Scary.

Went over the bars in the peaks. Brake lever went into nads. Ripped open the ‘sack’ and ended up with nuts dangling on ‘strings’ . Tucked them back in , lots of blood.

WTF?? 😯

goot 😯 hope your’e all right now.

OMG OMG OMG!!!! 😯 Jeeeeeeeeezzzuusss! 😯

Not me but me grandad lost and eye fitting a set of cranks, twatted the cotter pin with a hammer and a shard flew up and straight in to his eye, always found it a bit disconcerting as his eye would follow you round the room, its no wonder he was a grumpy bugger.

Oh my lorrrrd goot! You owe me a new feckkin phone, I’ve just spat coffee all over this one! 😯 😆

Me-“Ok, when you undo those chainring bolts they can let go suddenly, so make sure your hands won’t be heading for the chainring teeth.”
Mate-“OK”
Me-“Are you sure now?”
Mate-“yes, make sure i’m not heading for the teeth.”
Me-“Ok, now be careful, they’re sharp.”
Mate-“Yep, no problem.”
30 seconds pass by.
Me-“would you like me to get you a couple of plasters for those cuts?”

Mixing bike maintenance and beer was never going to work…. took my cranks off but the pedals wouldn’t come off so I tried to remove them by laying the cranks on the ground with my multitool in the allen key slot in the pedal axle (no spanner flats, see) and stamping down on the multitool. Unfortunately the phillips screwdriver bit was pointing upwards, so went straight through my foot.

I didn’t really notice it that evening (due to beer consumption) but I was off work for 3 months until it healed properly.

HMM see that nice bit of skin between your thumb and first finger, I once put a nice sharp craft knife straight through it whilst stupidly trying to cut my grips off! 5 stitches and nearly 20 years later still 2 nice little scars [ in and out] which funnily enough i was only showing someone today. Muppet.

Goot – without photo’s it didn’t happen 😯

New brakes, pulling stoppies on the way out of the carpark. 4-5 hours later after a muddy ride coming back down the hill to the carpark went to pull a stoppie to find brakes fully bedded in and biting nice – landed in a heap with bike on top as it cartwheeled up behind me. No-one there when I was pulling nice stoppies on the way out, lot’s of people to witness the catapault when it all went wrong and watch me pulling gravel out of my face.

Second one was crossing a shallow stream which is on my main local ride so must have done it 100s of times. Limestone so a bit slippery, was going at about 0.23 miles an hour and turned too sharply, insanely quick spill (SPDs, no time to unclip) and landed with all my weight on the pointiest bit of my kneecap. Lost a 5p piece chunk of flesh and didn’t heal properly for about a month, now ride with knee pads where ever I am!

I was holding something (forget exactly what) between finger and thumb to cut along it with a hacksaw. That little puffy bulge thing between your wrist and the base of your thumb is an artery, apparently.

Still got the scar.

walking in the garage bare foot and stud on a 3 pin plug, i reacted by ducking and chipped my tooth on the flat bars of my old mongoose bmx.

Ok nothing as extreme as some of the above, but I managed to put 50cm of hawthorn twig through my eardrum whilst getting a jump totally wrong. It snapped into 3 pieces and was stuck inside. It took 9 months, 2 operations including a re-graft which involved cutting the ear off to put that back together. Hearing is still slightly damaged on that side.
Also a few years back over exuberance led to a heavy crash on castle crag. The worst hit was above my hip below the ribs, it led to a bit of internal bleeding which nipped to put it mildly. Anyhow a week later whilst on the mend to my horror whilst lying in the bath I noticed my man bits had gone totally black! After a panicked call to the doc’s thinking they were going to drop off!I was told is was the bruising dropping from the bleeding! Misses thought it was hilarious and told almost everyone we knew.

Do we really want to see photos of Goot’s walnuts on strings? [no]

“Sprained ankle due to riding over the one remaining strand of wire in an old fenceline”

That will learn-ya for cheeky riding all the time 😉

goot – thats seriously nasty, I know a lad at work who suffered a similar injury jumping off a bunk bed – his ‘parts’ had fallen between two slats so when he jumped down they stayed put, nearly died from blood loss, he is stupidly proud of his ‘franken-sac’ now.

Fettling I managed to put my back out removing a lockring – pulled a muscle in my lower back and ended up walking like an elderly gent for the best part of two weeks, couldn’t even put the ruddy thing back together or make it up the stairs to the flat without help.

Cycling-wise my mate fell over at approximately zero mph on a doublewide shared use path/cycleway after he attempted to answer his mobile phone while trackstanding to let a couple of roadies past – brain fade after a full day of gnar without injury and ended up so badly bruised he couldn’t raise his arm for a couple of weeks. Was like a slow motion spd failure but all the funnier as he was on flats and engaging his brain for even a second would have saved him.