Most beautiful fart

😀

If I had a banana I would write “magnificent” on it with a biro.

Megalolz!

Brilliant!

Pfft.

Last night. 23 seconds, five octaves, successfully blamed the dog, giggled myself to sleep.

Now, THAT was a thing of beauty 😀

Perchypanther, was it this dog …

Careful though as you may follow through! 😀

Anyone who fails to find that funny is scarcely alive.

I managed the first six notes of the superman theme tune the other night (original movie obvs) pitch perfect..

It was nearly the ultimate performance but not quite

Lol!!

Wonder how many times he shat himself whilst trying to record that….

I think my career best is when I did one in my sleep loud enough to sufficiently wake both myself and my long-suffering spouse.

In my half-conscious state I apparently then slurringly accused her of the crime, rolled over, taking the duvet with me and started snoring. Leaving her very much awake, rapidly freezing and in a cloud of oily noxiousness as my nasal uttering echoed round the room.

I’m such a catch.

She still gives me grief about this 3 years later, if we get divorced in 20 years it’ll probably come up in court.

Excellent!

I find if I use a curved back plastic chair (as found in many cafes), I can make a sound like a flock of pigeons taking off.

Then check your pants – the ‘start of a pigeon race’ is usually used to describe the expulsion of a rectum full of loose stools. See also ‘bats at dusk’ and ‘a load of old shoes falling out of a loft’.

Love it 🙂 Cheered up my otherwise rubbish day. Thanks

My most memorable was letting one loose in bed that was so vile a) I thought it was bad and b) my ex-wife started retching. Of course, that just made me laugh more.

Oddly, when we got divorced later that year, it did _not_ get brought up.