Missing someone you know you shouldn't….
Well, you can either:
1) keep on indulging the thoughts until you reach a state of sufficient anxiety that you have to act upon them,
2) you can trust in your previous decision (?) and squash the thoughts down until they are rendered obsolete by some surpassing event/relationship or they form an indestructible emotional diamond in your steadily blackening heart.
HTHPosted 4 years agoTorminalisMember
Also, be honest with yourself about what you are missing. Many years ago I went through a pretty painful break up but it was not until years later that I realised, it wasn’t her I was missing, it was the quality of the relationship we had.
If you have already been through the mill a couple of times with this person, it may very well be better to endure the pain of getting over it, it will pass, it is only a matter of time. Someone else will come along and make you realise that things can actually be better than you ever thought they could be.
Or you may do the bitter blackened heart thing but that is ultimately down to you.Posted 4 years agoscuzzMember
If I gave it a shot n contacted them n was rejected I’d be even worse, which is 100% likely to happen.
Here’s what I’d do, and I’m more awesome than SurfMat:
– Fill your life with interesting things that keep your mind off of them. This is a perfect time to learn a new hobby – dedicate time to it, knowing a new hobby will make you feel better in the long run.
– Fill your life with interesting people, as above.
Don’t go to them asking for anything, it’s degrading for you and puts them in an uncomfortable position.
Instead, use your new found awesome hobby and confidence from having met new people to live your life better and I guarantee that you will either win them back, or meet someone who’s better.Posted 4 years ago
Also, in my experience, it takes an amount of time equal to half your relationship length to get over them. YMMV, except for the guarantee bit, that’s FACT.soul2soulMember
You can control what you let your mind think about, if you let yourself wander into thinking about them all the time getting over them will take a very long time. They may always be very dear to you and hold a special place in your heart but you have to decide to move onPosted 4 years agono_eyed_deerMember
indestructible emotional diamond in your steadily blackening heart.
Too true! :darkside:
Shucks.. it’s life.. Jeeez.. I don’t get over anything, ever. I just granduakky learn to accept that I’ll never get over anything, ever.. and the feeling sort of dulls (a bit).
New carbon things, making friends and trying interesting new foods such as chicken kievs help. Other than that, I just suck it up, or collapse on the kitchen floor crying (which happens about ever 6 months or so)Posted 4 years agoSBrockMember
We have al been there fella!
I had turbulent relationship with my little girls mother. It has been over 2 years now, she has moved on and met someone else, which is fine by me….I do not want her, but I do care about her as she is the mother of my daughter – however I miss & crave being in a family unit with my daughter.
The pain will get better and you will meet someone else, just learn from your past mistakes in relationships like I have done.Posted 4 years agoyossarianMember
some people arent the ‘getting over it’ type.
learn to live with it and try not to let it affect you day to day. Maybe you’ll feel better about things in a year, maybe you won’t. You don’t have to ever feel fine about it, its not a legal requirement.
Personally I’d contact her and tell her the truth about how you feel, she might not feel the same but either way you’ll have a starting point that you don’t have right now. it’ll take some courage to put yourself out there but you can transfer that into your new life if you need to and you won’t be wondering or guessing about how she feels, which is important for your head/heart.Posted 4 years agobravohotel8erMember
I went through the same some months ago. It took me a while to realise that I wasn’t really missing her, just the version of her that existed in short bursts from time to time. She could be the best company in the world and I loved being with her when she was like that, but I was deliberately forgetting the selfishness, neediness and alcohol induced bizarro behaviour that she exhibited over 50% of the time.
The person I missed never really existed, at least not on a fulltime basis and there weren’t enough good times to warrant the stress and havoc.Posted 4 years agoononeorangeSubscriber
+1 for scuzz.
Probably no help but I (for some bizarre reason) felt like that after my ex-mrs suddenly announced she’d found somebody else to fleece and moved out.
12 years on I realise it was one of the best things to happen to me, was a cheap price to pay really and he’s now stuck with her – Ha!Posted 4 years ago
The topic ‘Missing someone you know you shouldn't….’ is closed to new replies.