- Mid-life crisis? Anyone had one?
A proper one mind? Never mind the “I just went out and bought another 3 grand bike’ nonsense. Thats just normal behavior for a bloke over 30.
I’m thinking more about the completely irrational/absurd/embarrassing behavior kind of thing.
If so. What did you do? How did you go about it? How long did it last? And did you feel better during/after it?Posted 9 years agothisisnotaspoonMember
I’m 21 or 22 (honeslty i cant remember, ill go work it out)
and i keep bidding on sports cars/rust buckets on ebay 🙁
runs in the family, my dad began his at my age with a string of motorbikes which usualy ended up in hedges, sports cars, boats, then nothing while i was kid. Since i was 7 or 8 anything i can do he can do better, our garrage is a never ending revolving door of boats, motorbikes, cars, bikes etc etc.
Each time bits get left behind when theyr sold. My homebrewed lights are running on wiring from a ’77 midget, or was it a ’82 bonevile, or was it one of the boats?
He currently has,Posted 9 years ago
a armstrong mt500
At 62 my dad left my mum for a woman 20 years younger. Now divorced from my mum, in a nice new big house with a new BMW sat outside and a decent road bike hung up in the garage. He doesn’t see either of his sons as we’ve washed our hands of him, his bad back stops him walking let alone riding and apparently his new woman has wondering hands.
I’m sure he’s really pleased with himself
What goes around….Posted 9 years ago
There is always a younger woman out there.
There is always a woman out there who is better in bed than your current.
There is always another woman out there who will listen to you and understands you (short term).
Always has been in the case.
What stops men from being a complete ass is the ability to listen and work at what we have rather than the grass is always greener-bollocks.
Men who always wonder what else is out there tend to die unfulfilled and are never happy.
My Father is one such man. Always chasing the skirt.
I’m not going to end up like that. I dont want another man bringing up my children his way just because I had a midlife crisis. Huge price to pay and not worth it.Posted 9 years ago
All of my friends are responsible, family people who grew out of drink/drugs and pretending to be 20 10yrs ago. Only I am lagging behind living like a kid still. Makes me feel like abit of tit to be honest.andrewMember
Well, my missus says that she was my mid-life crisis but I disagree: I was only 35/36; she’s only 13 years younger than me; I was leaving my ex-wife anyway; my two boys from my first marriage love her dearly and also are enamoured by their new sister. So, less of a crisis and more of joyous life change.
Give me a few years and I might get a three grand bike though.Posted 9 years ago
My sister in law is currently seeing her boss (married father/41 yr old) and shes 30. In a nice way shes far more intelligent adn intellectual than me but emotionally immature. From what I can gather the guy is going through a classic mid-life crisis. From my smug distance I can see its going to be really messy as shes quite a fierce/vengefull one and emotionally fragile..****…….que future shouting in a council office in Birmingham with a tribunal(s) and a sacking! 🙄
There are alot of cliche’s around midlife crisis’s ….fingers and burning seems to crop up a fair bit.Posted 9 years agofantomMember
The wandering eye syndrome is a symptom of greater uncertainty in your life. But this is a positive thing that asks some good questions; Am I happy? Am I what I want to be? Am I a good father? Do I want to do this job for the rest of my life?
Many people completely change their lives for good at this stage, because if not then, when?Posted 9 years agokiwi_stuMember
Well, I just had a mid-life crisis at the weekend… mine was the “I just went out and bought another 3 grand bike nonsense” encouraged by my lovely wife. Hit 40 a month or so ago and she knows I love mountain bike racing/enduros etc… even took me to the store… so I have a new mid-life crisis Specialized S-Works Epic 09 arrived in the next few weeks… 😀Posted 9 years agostumpyjumperMember
ive had a couple of near misses normally involving younger, prettier women. im lucky enough to not look my 34 years and still not look out of place with all my mates who are 6-8 years younger than me as is my misssus. i walked away from society’s blueprint when i was 28 after a series of failed relationships, property & financial problems. i sold everything and went out to france to work back to back seasons. once i finally came back all the friends i had over here had turned their backs on me so i just started again. thats how i ended up where i am now. was this a mid life crisis? i know im a much better and happier person now than i was before.
you could say that im going through another one now as i want a wholesale change again, job, location, direction, meaning. the only thing im keeping this time is my missus. only you know if your partner is worth staying with and i guess you will only have to make that decision when your looking into the eyes of another. i literally ran away when that happened to me! best decision i made in the last few years.Posted 9 years agoOllyMember
nowt wrong with wanerding eyes.
imo, the best cure is to share it with the missus.
we ended up letching over coffee shop ladies and guys alike.
was nice to be able to joke about it…. then she went off with one of them
not that it was a midlife thing, if im having a midlife at 22/23/24 ish (not sure either) then im sadly resigned to dying earlier than i expectPosted 9 years agozaskarMember
No and never will. I like change all the time.
I love my lady.
I look at past regrets and sort them out and live life now!
I’m still a big kid and Peter Pan but also matured (a bit).
I might regret not having kids but thought it over and made a choice.
Sure there are a loads of women out there but relationships/lady you’re with needs to work on it and has to be fun and caring or whatever you need.
To prove you can pull by cheating? well if the other half did that how would you feel?
Mid life would be change but doesn’t mean you need to cheat or wait for a change at 50.
If you want to change now just do it. Life is too short.
Midlife at 22/34/48 is like my chainwheels…change them anytime you like.Posted 9 years ago
I can honestly say my GF is the best. She doesnt do drugs, doesnt smoke or drink much (she thinks two glasses of red means shes plastered). People who think that your not cool/hip or ‘young’ if you dont do anything chemical are abit mad. Plus girls who drink alot is seriously worrying and uncool. She can stay up late, get along with anyone, isn’t judgmental (her friends call her up and tell her allsorts that dont even bother her onebit!) and she puts up with me. A saint I tell you! 🙂Posted 9 years agomolgripsSubscriber
I seem to be having a mid life crisis all the time. My trouble is that I hate work. Are you supposed to like it when you get older? When will I stop resenting being forced to do someone else’s boring bidding when the entire world is out there?
Never, that’s when!
Btw hora – the chemical thing is only in certain sections of society. I’ve never done it, never been around it, just not a factor in my life or my wife’s, or any of my friends for that matter. It’s not the core of youth, although it might appear that way some times. It’s all about who you choose to hang out with – or who is available to hang out with…Posted 9 years agoSSTMember
Just to add a bit of balance . . . . .
Sometimes what people call a “mid-life crisis” is actually an awakening of the awareness that your life isn’t what you would like it to be, coupled with the fact that you know you could make it better. (not to be confused with say, wishing you were a millionaire, or you were 20 again)
For those people that believe you only get ONE shot at life, it may be the catalyst that shows you an opportunity to move on, whether from a work or a personal situation, to something better or more fulfilling.
I guess the “crisis” bit comes from the mess these things often tend to leave behind them, broken families, debts etc, but with a bit of consideration and tact, it doesn’t have to be like that.
As for people judging other people in these situations, particularly their parents, life sometimes has a funny way of working out. And it’s not inconceivable that in 20 or 30 years time you may find yourself in the position your mum/dad were in when they made what you considered to be a bad decision.Posted 9 years agomolgripsSubscriber
I think the crisis aspect comes from the fact that you realise one day that your life is actually running out slowly and you have far less time to achieve stuff than you used to. It’s really not about broken families etc – if your family is not supportive and understanding then you have a problem, but if they are then they should help you get through whatever problems you have, as always.
If the crisis is about realising that you married the wrong person, then you are also in trouble 🙂Posted 9 years agosimonralli2Member
I got dumped on Valentines Day in 2003, age 33. Wanted to get married and have a family but that whole situation got me v down. Sold the house and went travelling for a year. I just felt like a wage slave and was stressed out at work and hated the commute into London etc, and I wasn’t earning for a reason, i.e. to look after a family. (That’s the short version).
6 years on and still not managed to settle down despite wanting to. Am about to give up work for a year or so and do an MSc.
Don’t know if this helps or not.Posted 9 years agoJulianAMember
Possibly, if ‘don’t really want a job / would like to go travelling / would like to live abroad’ count, but never ‘want to sleep around / want to do drugs’ stuff. Perhaps slight MLC?
Happily married for ten + years and my wife is back home from a (thankfully short) stay in hospital. She is unbelievably supportive, we have fantastic shared memories, have fantastic friends who have are very supportive, love doing the same things as each other and she has a great job, so I’m very happy with the way things are.
Very lucky, I guess!Posted 9 years ago
I’ve had one.
The full leave home, leave wife and kids, run off with the younger woman, stay there for two weeks, crying, then go to live at your dads for 2 months, pissed every day, make up slowly with the wife, make up slowly with the kids, go home with tail between legs, pay dearly for the next 3 years, get hassled by the younger woman for years, get fatter, get drunker, just about getting back to normal, a lot older and a great, great deal wiser, type of thing.
I’m not proud of it, and it was associated with depression, but still..Posted 9 years ago
I think it’s something I had to do, that sounds like crap, but it was only by doing it and actually seeing that the grass isn’t always greener, despite the fact that the younger lady was a very nice person, who I fecked about, that I realised that I was being stupid.
It makes me cringe to think of the crap I put all the people involved thru, and I wouldn’t ever say I was proud of it, but it…well it contributed to making me who I am today, and made me a lot less judgemental and hopefully a nicer guy in the end…Posted 9 years agogenesisMember
Ah pap! I thought my life was one big crisis, guess I have even more irrational behaviour to look forward to, last year learnt to mountainboard and skateboard this year am learning to snowboard.Posted 9 years ago
At 35 my parents think I should find something sensible to do and my wife just thinks I’m trying to discover my late teens that I missed out on because I was too busy working and getting plastered while playing with rally cars!
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