Michael Jackson Jokes ONLY

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  • Michael Jackson Jokes ONLY
  • Premier Icon Speshpaul
    Subscriber

    On another note, apparently Michael Jackson didn’t die of a heart attack, he was in the children’s ward having a stroke…..

    Lanesra

    All Michael Jacksons future dates have been cancelled, including those with Josh aged 5 and Ryan aged 11

    WipeOut
    Member

    I told you he would pull a sickie and not do the 50 days!

    wors
    Member

    Apparently Michael Jackson died falling over a childs pram, a police spokesman said it’s too early to say what the cause is so don’t blame it on the buggy.

    snaps
    Member

    Whats the difference between Alex Fergusson & Micheal Jackson?

    Fergie will still have Giggs in August.

    Matinmidiswa
    Member

    Whats the difference between Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson?

    Alex Ferguson will still be playing Giggs in August.

    Premier Icon jimmy
    Subscriber

    He’s been refused access to heaven apparently. don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moonlight, don’t blame it on the good times, blame it on the buggery

    (CFH wins for me so far)

    Bedds
    Member

    Apparently, the last time he was this stiff, Macaulay Culkin had gone round for a sleep over..

    Keva
    Member

    Jockeys at tomorrows race meeting will be wearing black arm bands in respect for Michael Jackson who successfully rode more three year olds than anyone else in history.

    Kev

    slimtubing
    Member

    Gary Glitter is going to speak at the eulogy about some of Jacko’s greatest achievements, it’s hoped he’ll touch on his music career also.

    grazzer1
    Member

    Rumour has it that MJ’s dying wish was to have his ashes put into an etch-o-sketch. He hoped that this way kids could continue to fiddle with his knob long after his death.

    Gingerbloke
    Member

    On a serious note, I have a couple of cheap concert tickets.

    IGMC

    grazzer1
    Member

    Ambulances officers confirmed Jacko’s death. They said he was blowing bubbles at the time of his death, the monkey is reportedly in a stable condition.

    Premier Icon Nobby
    Subscriber

    In memory of Michael Jacksons death, McDonalds have released the new Jackson burger.

    It’s a 50yr old bit of meat between 2 ten year old buns

    Premier Icon takisawa2
    Subscriber

    I wonder if he went “Ow” really loudly…

    IHN
    Member

    Tickets for the Jackson 5 concerts are still available. 20% off.

    rogerthecat
    Member

    Funny eh? Jacko and Fawcett dying at the same time

    One played with Majors……………the other played with Minors!

    nicko74
    Member

    Some of these are a) REALLY poor and b) libellous…

    A colleague was showing me an online buzz-tracking tool called trendpedia this morning. It’s not working at the moment though – he typed in Michael Jackson and just got a flat line.

    IGMC

    grazzer1
    Member

    When Farah Fawcett died, she got to heaven, and was granted one wish……she wished for all the children in the world to be safe

    Premier Icon miketually
    Subscriber

    Some of these are a) REALLY poor and b) libellous…

    But, c) you can’t libel the dead

    WipeOut
    Member

    Hi,

    If you are easily offended don’t read any further!

    Okay guys keep it focused, no comments on jokes, or morality debates, just more jokes.

    Joke 1

    Apparently, as he was 99% plastic, they are going to melt him down and make Lego bricks so that the children can play with his bits instead!

    Joke 2

    1st Paramedic “His having a heart attack what shall we do?”
    2nd Paramedic “Beat it!”

    mossimus
    Member

    Bitter sweet moment for Madonna. Today she lost a good friend, on the other hand there are now 3 more black kids for her to adopt

    andywhit
    Member

    Apparently it transpires he died of food poisoning after choking on some 12 year old nuts.

    andywhit
    Member

    He wasn’t going to do all those O2 concerts anyway.

    He said he wasn’t coming to the UK when he found out the ‘£2000 for a 10 year old’ actually referred to the car scrappage scheme.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    The biggest disappointment of his life was when he discovered that Boyz II Men was a group and not a delivery service.

    HeathenWoods
    Member

    Sadly, it was a hereditary condition; something in his Billy Genes.

    R.I.Paedophile

    jova54
    Member

    Weather reports of high winds today as 10 year old boys around the world breathe a collective sigh of relief.

    whytetrash
    Member

    His ghost has been seen on the childrens ward of the hospital in which he died, it appears he still wants to put the willies up small children!

    kennyNI
    Member

    So so sad. Michael Jackson touched me in ways only a Chatholic priest would understand.

    Premier Icon CheesybeanZ
    Subscriber

    Garry glitters girlfriend is to be devasteted by the news of MJs death “first her parents leave her in portugal then this..”

    xiphon
    Member

    Guests at his cremation will be issued gas masks, due to the burning plastics.

    Haze
    Member

    You’ll need to act fast if you want to snap up a bargain, Jacksons stuff is up for grabs on ebay. Current highest bidder for his PC is GaryGlitter11

    the hustler
    Member

    Anyone ever thought that the rhinestone’s on those gloves must ‘chafe’ abit for the kids?

    the hustler
    Member

    Michael Jackson, a life fo opposites

    A boy in a mans body and
    A man in a boys body (although never proven)

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    nicked from a friend

    No one’s sure if there’ll be a burial, a cremation or a recycling…

    rj
    Member

    Apparently he wants to be recycled as carrier bags. So he’ll still be white, plastic and a hazard to children.

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