I have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks and a couple of female friends have hinted (well actually told me to my face) that I need to make more of an effort with my appearance and dress sense. I live in jeans, T-shirts and skate trainers, fashion has completely passed me by. So if I am going to attempt to look a little “cool” what should I be looking for? Although not sure why I am going to bother, one of the bridesmaids is my ex so she will have told every other woman there exactly what type of bloke I am 🙄

zip pulled up and no splash marks round the crotch area

If your so old enough you need to ask, your past it, just go in a suit.

saturday night fever suit and sandals

and smoke, a lot.

crushed velvet flares, two-tone brogues, string vest and a sombrero. You’ll look sooo next season darling 🙂

wear a smart suit and shirt (get a girl to help you choose, preferably not a very ugly one), get a hair cut and have a shave.

If you’re not fat, Reiss have a massive sale on at the moment, pretty good for things like weddings (they are smart, but definitely not business smart), plus girls love Reiss, so the fact that you shopped there is a step in the right direction

If you don’t look presentable after that then I’m afraid you’ve no hope 🙂

mankini, grey socks, sandals and a sombrero

preferably not a very ugly one

Did you post an ad on Gumtree recently……

Your mates daughters skinny jeans, a baggy t-shirt with Maralyn Munroe air brushed on the front of it, tie your hair up to one side with a dayglo band, some white RayBan Wayfarers, a loose knit cardie 3 sizes too large for you.
And a fag.

M&S cords should do it. 😉

Speedo’s! Leopard print ones! Bow tie! Tartan one! Sorted!

last wedding i went to i wore a purple shirt (not tucked in), a darker purple, skinny leather tie from the 70’s (found in a 2nd hand shop), black trousers and bright red nike mogan trainers.

i was the coolest looking guy there, IMO.

one wedding i went to some guy turned up in an old brown cord suit and a pair of converse. also a good look.

wear what you feel comfortable in. the guests will (should) be glad you are pesent.

wear what you feel comfortable in. the guests will (should) be glad you are pesent.

That’s not enough to get you laid though, which, unless things have changed, is the main reason for attending any wedding (including your own)

A strong look this summer.

what is this going to a wedding and getting laid you talk of??

If you have to ask…

what is this going to a wedding and getting laid you talk of??

It’s like the Wedding Crashers but usually with less attractive women that that fit ginger girl.

You’re not there for yourself, you’re at a wedding to show affection and respect for the couple getting married.
So smarten up!

A suit is a good start.
With formal shirt & tie & leather shoes if you’re aiming to do it properly, with dark shirt & daps if you want to show off your bohemian (as opposed to slovenly) side.

How old are you? If you are asking how to dress and you are over 30, you work in IT support and there is little hope for you.

All joking aside (I know how Dull “tuts”) I’d go to M&S and buy a cheap (but fitted) suit and a half decent tie and some new shoes.
You sound like you need a suit, this’ll last a few years and get you through a few more weddings.

Problem is really.. seeing your Ex again.

For that reason alone I’d probably buy the best suit I could afford, get a decent hair cut, clean my teeth and tie that tie real tight and clean those shoes.
Then grab a friends wife as arm candy and walk right on in with your head held high.
Just don’t give her a reason to point and say “told you what he’s like, then sniggers”

Worrying what to wear? No need. Take an escort!

How will that help?

someone nick the engine from that ? 😕

this?

I had one of those – my first car of my own. Unreliable as hell, but you gotta love your first car.

Having clothes selected for you by a girl you fancy is a great pulling opportunity. After the shopping, thank her and insist on a date to repay the kindness. Wear the new clobber of course. She will like the feeling that she can improve you. Get in!

Buy a sharp suit, Reiss is ideal but a well fitted department store suit is fine as well.
Then buy a nicely fitted shirt (and a tie if you do desire, you’ll need for the day but not for the evening).
Finally buy a pair of leather shoes and matching belt.

Then, armed with a sharp haircut and a clean shaven face, stroll past your ex, barely acknowledging her. Job done.

mmmmm XR3

Always wanted the one up though

Oh, and buzz is spot on above.

She will like the feeling that she can improve you

After 17 years of marriage my wife still seems to think she can improve me.

I have to say I do admire her optimism in the face of what does appear to be a crushingly long period of abject failure to improve on my part.

as most of the shops want to sell us this kind of crap

I’d say the dick look is very in

Buy a sharp suit

Tweed.

Tweed is good.

And brogues. You can’t beat a nice pair of leather soled brogues.

get yourself to tkmaxx, get some brand new skate shoes, get some brand new jeans, nice shirt and a smart jacket. this isn’t the 50’s you know, neither is it an interview, wear what you normally wear but make sure its clean and smart. oh and don’t ignore the ex, tell her how lovely she looks (that will really throw her) and pay lots of compliment to the mother of the bride

Good chap, Willard, good chap.

Rule one successfully covered, let us not forget Rule 4;

THOU SHALT NEVER, EVER, WEAR PANTALOONS DE NIMES. When you have progressed beyond fondling girls in the back seats of cinemas, you can stop wearing jeans. Wear fabrics appropriate to your age, and, who knows, you might even get a quick fumble in your box at the opera.

get yourself to tkmaxx, get some brand new skate shoes, get some brand new jeans, nice shirt and a smart jacket.

My god. You must have the girls falling over themselves to get to you. When I say girls, I mean those under 16.

My god. You must have the girls falling over themselves to get to you. When I say girls, I mean those under 16.

ooh meow, there’s some awful bitches on here (flounces off) are you sure you’re not silver 1999? 🙄