Right, the little lady’s old fella started chemo this week. We’re planning on going to see him over the weekend, staying at her folks’ place for a couple of nights.

Thing is, I’ve had something lurgie-esque all week, this morning a bit more than yesterday but still not massively. It’s at a level (a bit of a cough and the slightest sniffle) that would normally not make me think twice about doing anything (you know, like meeting people or riding or going out or whatever), but I just don’t know what level of lurgie is ‘safe’ around her Dad and I’m not what I should do for the best.

I’d feel really bad not coming up because I wouldn’t be giving her the support that I should and want to give (we only found out he was ill this week), but I’d feel terrible if I caused any problems for her dad.

So, if I’m on the verge of being a bit sniffley, should I go?

You should definitely not go. I prescribe a long bike ride, or a day in with the laptop watching all the stuff you wouldn’t if the mrs was in.

Thanks. Unfortunately I’m not really in the mood for jovial answers.

I definitely wouldn’t go mate! Its just not worth the risk

Well then I suggest googling ‘chemotherapy immune system’ and looking on proper sites.

My quick search still suggests ‘No’.

I had something similar to you for the better part of a week – I even managed to take a group out biking on Tuesday, then Tuesday night it really hit home and I’ve been floored/off work for the rest of the week and now it’s settled in my chest. Several other folks I know seem to have had a similar bug. Don’t know if that helps or not, but I wouldn’t want to inflict the current hacking cough on someone who was already feeling under the weather!

Cheers chaps. I’ve just spoken to one ofthe nurses at Macmillan and they advise not to go. Feel terrible (not with my cold, about not going), she’s not taken it all well and I want to be there for her.

Sorry to have wasted your time TSY 😕

Hate to be a downer, but potentially your little lady could be incubating the same cold…

Well, yeah, that is a very valid point.

Have you / your little lady asked him what he wants given the circumstances?

Based on a mates wife who is on chemo for terminal breast cancer (it’s now in her bones, lungs, liver etc), I would say stay away until you are better.

Her white blood count and immunity gets very low after her chemo and if she gets a simple viral like a cold it then allows other bacterial illness to take hold too giving her sepsis and she ends up on intravenous antibiotics etc and very poorly.

You’d be helping more by staying at home.

Have you / your little lady asked him what he wants given the circumstances?

We’ve tried, but they’re out for the day and of an age where they don’t believe in mobile phones.

And he’s the type that would say “it’ll be fine”, even if it might not.

Freind of mine is having chemo, when we were due to go on a trip and I was feeling a bit under the weather I spoke to the oncology ward. They said that while his immune system was compromised, he could come into contact with someone who was infectious anywhere (your mrs for instance).
We did go on the trip, but avoided direct contact, and I was careful to wash/use alcohol gel on my hands if I sneezed coughed or touched my nose.
If it was me, i’d go to support my wife, but ask her dad if he’d rather I went for a ride on the bike I had in the back of the car and pick her up later. Unless his capacity is impaired he can make choices about the risks/benefits, even if its not the choice you would make.