I sand the back of the pads lightly when they are really bad.
To reset the piston I put in the old pad and get a 6″ flat head screwdriver and lever the damn things out with a fiar bit of force. Gentle/slight squeezing of the brake lever seems to allow them to move (squeeze then push the pistons and repeat.
It’s not that uncommon for pads to rub a little bit for the first part of a ride but they seem to centre and reset themselves much better riding than in the garage.
It is a right pain though, expecially when you need to change pads mid ride (at Kielder!). I actually carry some part worn ones as spares because sometimes it is just impossible trail side.
Other thing to consider is your discs, are they avid originals? I have two sets of elixirs and they are much easier to replace on the bike with original avid discs (compared to superstarcomponents ones).