No idea if this is true or not, but it made me laugh

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” John Lennon

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

Better to say nothing and others think of you as an idiot, than to open your mouth sand remove all doubt.

Don’t eat anything bigger than your head

Oh, and…..

Don’t be a dick.

Face it, if the whole world lived by these two simple mantras, everything would be good.

Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe…

Death smiles at us all
All a man can do is smile back

Whether the glass is half empty or half full, there is still plenty of room for improvement

and as for wide words…

Did you spill my pint?

Lord love a duck

Good point on the wide words! In which case, this is my favourite 🙂

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Said it before, this one from Doctor Who when Tegan leaves always sticks with me and I kind of live by it (except the bit about being an air stewardess 😀 )…

Tegan: My aunt Vanessa said, when I became an air stewardess, if you stop enjoying it, give it up.

Don’t pick your nose or your head will cave in.

Every rose has its thorn.

‘Always ride the horse the way it’s facing’

And

‘One day, this will be twenty years ago’

Measure twice, cut once.

And, always know where your towel is.

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool

Be like water, my friend.

If I only scrape a living it is a living worth scraping

Light travels faster than sound. It’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Cost is only a factor in the absence of value.

‘The mountains are calling and I must go’ (John Muir)

Everyone has a plan til they get punched in the mouth – Mike Tyson

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone’s got one.

If we had no faults, we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others

La Rochefoucault.

Hanlon’s Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Tucker’s law:
If some **** can **** something up, that **** will pick the worst possible time to **** **** up because that ****’s a ****.

What goes around comes around

and

Success only comes before work in the dictionary

When the ocean surges,
don’t let me just hear it-
let it burst inside my chest- Rumi. (this gets translated a few different ways, I love this one… I’ve a habit of being a spectator of my own life sometimes.)

Another Rumi, on facing adversity

Bring the pure wine of love and freedom.
But sir, a tornado is coming.
More wine, and we’ll teach this storm a thing or two about whirling.

2 ears and one mouth,
Use in those proportions

I always wanted to be happy, so I decided to be.

neil nello baldwin

useful for work (at my current employer):

“you will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks” (Winston Churchill)

Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.

-Douglas Bader

I like that batfink.

Failure is an opportunity to try again more intelligently.

This, by Tim Minchin is fantastic but not as terse as most of the quotes so far.

You Don’t Have To Have A Dream.

Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine, if you have something that you’ve always dreamed of, like, in your heart, go for it! After all, it’s something to do with your time… chasing a dream. And if it’s a big enough one, it’ll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you’ll be almost dead so it won’t matter.

I never really had one of these big dreams. And so I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you… you never know where you might end up. Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery. Which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye. Right? Good. Advice. Metaphor. Look at me go.

The whale that spouts gets harpooned

Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.

In terms of education,

You don’t get a pig fat by weighing it

It’s better to spend too much and waste a little than spend too little and waste the lot.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI[/video]

All of our days are numbered. We cannot afford to be idle. To act on a bad idea is better than to not act at all. Because the worth of the idea never becomes apparent until you do it.
Nick Cave, 20,000 Days on Earth.
It became our mantra when a pal and I decided to organise http://www.ridetothesun.co.uk, but I think it’s a good ethos generally.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ? Albert Einstein

Nothing endures.

Keep out of the black and in the red, nothing in this game for two in a bed.