• This topic has 185 replies, 107 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by DrJ.
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  • Married Finances – Separate accounts or fully shared?
  • colournoise
    Full Member

    Similar to most here. Joint account for mortgage, bills, etc. that we both pay into from our personal accounts. Joint short term savings account for holidays etc. that siphons off from the joint account. Whatever’s left in our own accounts is to be spent or saved as we see fit, no questions asked. Has worked fine for the 15 years we’ve been together (married 10).

    Sandwich
    Full Member

    All joint accounts, fewer worries with money access if one of us were to die suddenly. Herself does the accounts as I am one for shiney things.

    richmars
    Full Member

    Joint account that pays a fixed, equal amount into two individual accounts.

    stevego
    Free Member

    Joint accounts for everything, she spends more, but then again she also earns more. If I was in charge of finances we’d be broke very quickly.

    zanelad
    Free Member

    Is that like “It’s not that I’m a racist, but”?

    Not one knows what lies around the corner. I expect that you’d walk away with just the clothes onot your back. Do the decent thing.

    If you think you do, you’re a bigger idiot than that comment makes you seem.

    oldschool
    Full Member

    One joint current account, and joint savings. Only individual is an ISA in each name, but my wife has all the logins. Both of us earn and both of us spend? Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    I’m right then.

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    I’ve seen “His” and “Hers” towels but maybe I need to look harder in future. Do folk go around writing “His” and “Hers” on all their possessions or, being IT folk, is it all kept on a big spreadsheet somewhere (presumably in Escrow)?

    TiRed
    Full Member

    Joint. I’m responsible for the input side of the equation. It would probably be better if it were single based on my hobby expenditure!

    She is very understanding and we aren’t broke (largely thanks to her!)

    oldschool
    Full Member

    oldschool » One joint current account, and joint savings. Only individual is an ISA in each name, but my wife has all the logins. Both of us earn and both of us spend? Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??
    I’ve seen “His” and “Hers” towels but maybe I need to look harder in future. Do folk go around writing “His” and “Hers” on all their possessions or, being IT folk, is it all kept on a big spreadsheet somewhere (presumably in Escrow)?

    We don’t have his and her towels, we just have an amount of money that we spend, and if we are planning something bigger we both tighten the purse strings for a month or two.

    P-Jay
    Free Member

    Separate for us, couple of reasons but I never want to have to explain or justify a purchase and neither does my Wife.

    We’ve got a joint household and savings account, but our disposable income is our own.

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    Separate accounts.. I pay the mortgage and utilities.. She pays for shopping. Pay for own vehicles.

    whatyadoinsucka
    Free Member

    Joint account for bills and food split in proportion to salary, no kids.

    Do you spend similar, if you want a new bike would the other half be happy and not want to spend the equivalent on a handbag or vice versa

    matts
    Free Member

    Interesting. The majority seems to be for separate accounts.

    We’ve had a joint current and savings account since before we were married (10yrs), and both got rid of our separate current accounts soon after.

    convert
    Full Member

    So how do people feel about even or uneven distribution of fun money? There seem to be some people here with separate accounts who have disproportionate amounts of personal money left after chipping into the joint bill paying account and also those where it’s all in one pot but where one could dip in more than the other?

    We give ourselves the same amount each by standing order every month despite contributing substantially differently financially. I chose the sell my soul to the devil and a work all hours career, she the easier path for better work life balance. Pretty even distribution of blue and pink household jobs too. Sometimes in wrangles. Is there anyone who is the lesser breadwinner who spends all the household cash and how do you feel about it (or vice versa)?

    richmars
    Full Member

    We give ourselves the same amount each by standing order every month despite contributing substantially differently financially.

    Same here. Over the 20 years of marriage we’ve earned about the same, me much more, now my wife has retired so not putting anything in. We still take out the same each month. It may be a bit old fashioned but isn’t that what marriage is about?

    convert
    Full Member

    It may be a bit old fashioned but isn’t that what marriage is about?

    Yes, you are right and I’m in the big picture I’m glad we do it. Still doesn’t mean I don’t look at bikes and other shiny things and wish I could save for them a bit faster!

    Ben_H
    Full Member

    We have separate and joint accounts.

    I had a moment of realisation – about 5 years ago – when it became clear that we make decisions about: my money (ours), our money, or my wife’s money (ours). It’s all basically our money… it’s just a matter of where the control is.

    For what it’s worth: I put about 1/3rd of my income into our joint account (bills, food etc) and pay the mortgage, cars and regular savings directly in my name. This leaves about a final 20% for spending on whatever I like. My wife’s either been stay-at-home or part-time for the last 7 years, so it’s important for her to have control over her income and she pays for most kids’ clothing and presents…

    …but it’s still all “ours”. ;)

    wrecker
    Free Member

    Seperate accts, with a joint (DD’s going into this every month). How the **** would I have a blingy carbon santa cruz otherwise?!?
    The money is ours though, if wifey wants something and doesn’t have the money and I have, I just give it to her. It’s no issue at all.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Is there anyone who is the lesser breadwinner who spends all the household cash and how do you feel about it (or vice versa)?

    Early on in our relationship I told my future wife that there was no balance sheet. Surely that’s how it should be?

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    Join with seperates when I used to do it. Best system as the household stuff is covered but you treat each other like adults and don’t have to jointly agree every single line item of expenditure. It’s nothing to do with a lack of trust but sometimes good to have a level of surprise etc.

    olly2097
    Free Member

    One joint account for everything.

    We never ever argue or calculate the currency we’ve spent.

    If we need to make big purchase (100 quid plus) then we run it past each other.

    TheFlyingOx
    Full Member

    One joint account from which comes all the monthly households bills, car insurance for both of us and finance payments for her car. I pay for all of that, so the “joint” account is really only to separate the house bills from my own personal bills. She’s got a current account that her wages go in to, I’ve got one that my wages go in to. She spends her wages on whatever she wants, I spend what’s left of mine on whatever I want. Seems to work fine for us.

    ART
    Full Member

    20+ years together, not married, separate accounts. Whoever earns more pays proportionately more of the shared outgoings. It’s all ‘our’ money, we don’t need permission from each other to buy anything, the big stuff gets discussed & agreed as necessary. Works for us.

    edhornby
    Full Member

    our joint account is for mortgage, bills food, kids clothing etc. I do the finances and I put the majority into the joint and we both know what we earn, mrsEd covers the car (we are a one car family to make the numbers work)

    We communicate: if either of us was taking the mickey we would know about it – and lets face it, disposable income isn’t common across households in the UK at the moment, certainly isn’t in ours!

    convert
    Full Member

    disposable income isn’t common across households in the UK at the moment,

    I just don’t think this is true. I’d argue what counts as disposable income expense and what counts as essential has shifted. Terrifyingly close to half of all UK houses elect to pay for Sky over and above free to air TV services. I struggle to imagine a commodity that fits into the disposable income expense column more than paying coin to Murdock. Also, 16 million people in Britian regularly buy coffee in one of the chains spending an average of over £400 a year each in them. I wonder if they all think they don’t have much disposable income too.

    cpon
    Free Member

    scotroutes – Member
    I’ve never understood the separate accounts thing.

    Presumably you understood the separate accounts thing when you met, started dating, and throughout your engagement?

    Tracey – Member
    Joint and all shared from day one, never had a problem with it.

    Which was day One, the day you met, your first date, the day you moved in together, the day you got engaged or the day you married?

    I set up my joint account (to cover mortgage and utilities) when my partner and I bought our first house, we weren’t married back then and had no children. Our salaries have always been paid in to our personal accounts and then both contributed into the joint account to cover bills.

    There’s never been any reason to change that system.

    cpon
    Free Member

    Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??

    Wife works part time in retail, I’m full time. When it comes to holidays I’m paying anyway so it doesn’t matter. I want Bognor, she wants 5*. She wins.

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    MrsDummy and I ran basically joint accounts (I earned more, discretionary spending was roughly similar).

    We are divorcing and are (thus far anyway) managing to separate out our finances equitably and without any ugly surprises.

    :|

    ravingdave
    Full Member

    Joint account for everything. It’s about trust and she is my wife. She has spent the last 3 1/2 years off work raising our children. How can she expect to live without my income? Should I give her an allowance? We have had a joint account since before we got married when we moved in together. It has created a little bit of tension at times but generally has brought us together through difficult financial times through unity and helping eachother out.

    I wouldn’t want it any other way. I still buy what I want as does she; providing we can afford it!

    wobbliscott
    Free Member

    If both are working and have decent jobs then I think it makes sense to have separate accounts and pay into one joint account for household costs (petrol, shopping, insurances, mortgage etc). Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to share everything and can’t have anything independent from each other. Basically this way there are no money arguments because all the essentials are covered, the rest is disposable income, she can’t complain if I blow mine on bikes and I can’t complain if she blows hers on shoes. Most arguments and problems in marriages are caused over arguments over money.

    Obviously not so simple if one is the only breadwinner or one has a job earning alot less than the other – makes sense to have a common account then.

    colournoise
    Full Member

    wobbliscott – Member
    If both are working and have decent jobs then I think it makes sense to have separate accounts and pay into one joint account for household costs (petrol, shopping, insurances, mortgage etc). Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to share everything and can’t have anything independent from each other. Basically this way there are no money arguments because all the essentials are covered, the rest is disposable income, she can’t complain if I blow mine on bikes and I can’t complain if she blows hers on shoes. Most arguments and problems in marriages are caused over arguments over money.

    This.

    We have always earned (as teachers with similar time in the job) within about 3-4k of each other, so roughly equal. Whoever earns a little bit more at a given time pays a little bit more into the joint account. Definitely cuts down (eliminates) arguments over money.

    weeksy
    Full Member

    Completely separate.

    I pay some bills, she pays some…. i pay more as i earn more…

    The actual amounts and percentages of salary don’t really matter… we’re a couple… as long as we can both afford to live and be OK… then that’s cool with me.

    5thElefant
    Free Member

    Separate but the wife is on my credit card and I pay all the bills. Not sure what a joint account would add, other than hassle of setting it up.

    tjagain
    Full Member

    We do the three accounts. We each pay half of what it costs to live including food into a joint account. anything above that is in our individual accounts. If one of us runs out the other one is buying the beers simple as.

    We have always earned roughly similar amounts and I guess this would be different if you earned vastly different accounts. At times when I have earned less she paid for the holidays and vice versa. Currently I am earning more – I have paid for a new bathroom. Occasionally we will even things out by giving each other a couple of hundred. We have no loans of credit cards outstanding.

    We have never argued about money. Neither of us would spend ridiculous sums without consulting the other. We have been together 37 years so this works for us.

    I find the idea of not having “my” money incomprehensible and I know Julie my partner feels this even more strongly. Not that either of us would hide spending or spend recklessly

    trail_rat
    Free Member

    we have one joint for bills – another specifically for the cars/car replacement and seperates for the rest of our cash.

    the difference between my wage and the wifes gets put into savings for rainy days for either of us or on house stuff.

    rocketman
    Free Member

    (Several) separate accounts. There is no other way

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Scotroutes – its not about trust – or not in the way you think. Neither Julie nor I ever want to be beholden to anyone or have anyone dependent upon us. I know you find my position incomprehensible but remember – I find yours unfathomable :-)

    My mum who is now 82 and still married absolutely insisted on having her own money all her married life even tho she had to get my dad to sign to agree that he gave permission for her to have a bank account in her own name! She has decided to spend her “escape fund” now tho ;-)

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Thats a neat way of doing it.

    footflaps
    Full Member

    We have separate accounts, no different to before we were married. I’ve had the same account with Barclays for nearly 30 years…

    We have a joint credit card for house hold bills, which we split 50:50 and pay off each month.

    No mortgage, as I’d paid that off before I met the wife and she moved in. She has her old house let out and keeps the rent from that.

    Seems to work fine.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 186 total)

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