Having read lots about cycling in Majorca and seeing all the pro’s tweet and make fancy pre-season training video’s. Can i just get confirmation of a few facts:
– Its never too hot or too cold, perfect cycling temp
– Summmer kit!
– Never rains
– There is never any wind, or its always a tail wind
– The roads are perfectly smooooth, not a pothole any where on the island
– The mountains are massive and look really hard to climb, but actually they are really easy.
– Its a descent all the way home
– There isnt a car on the road, and if you do see one they will literally drive off the road to let you pass.
– Everyone stops to see if you are an actual pro
– When out for a ride you will see a pro, and they will talk to you and let you blow them out of the water on the next climb on your 22lb bike.
– When you run out of fluids, there will be a van around the corner giving out free bottles
– If you get tired, a pace motor bike appears and you can get a tow
– If you get really tired a team bus appears
– There is a gopro on every corner filming you in slow mowwwww
– All strava KOM’s are easy to achieve
– When you get back, you are tanned, leaner, stronger and just plain faster

Going soon!!

All true…

Possibly.

For most of the above to really happen you have to be riding in a team helmet, carbon soled shoes, brightly coloured speedos, and matching Oakley Jawbone sunglasses. Nothing more, nothing less.

– Its never too hot or too cold, perfect cycling temp
– Summmer kit!
– Never rains
– There is never any wind, or its always a tail wind
– The roads are perfectly smooooth, not a pothole any where on the island
– The mountains are massive and look really hard to climb, but actually they are really easy.
– Its a descent all the way home
– There isnt a car on the road, and if you do see one they will literally drive off the road to let you pass.
– Everyone stops to see if you are an actual pro
– When out for a ride you will see a pro, and they will talk to you and let you blow them out of the water on the next climb on your 22lb bike.
– When you run out of fluids, there will be a van around the corner giving out free bottles
– If you get tired, a pace motor bike appears and you can get a tow
– If you get really tired a team bus appears
– There is a gopro on every corner filming you in slow mowwwww
– All strava KOM’s are easy to achieve
– When you get back, you are tanned, leaner, stronger and just plain faster

Well, the last one might be true.

Not bad temp, but windy.

When it rains, it really bloody rains….and those smooth as glass roads become as slippy as smooth, wet glass; think cyclists on ice in any corner…

I’ve raced there and it’s great, but not as warm as all that at some times of the year

…and the girls doing the dancing on the wall of the outdoor beachside bar had their coats on!

Don’t go on-season – its blisteringly hot, windy and the roads are choka blok with tourist coaches. I can imagine it would be a great cycling destination either side of the high season though.

There is an old pro on every corner filming you in slow mowwwww

I would question all of those apart from the last statement.

I went in late September and it was just right. Not too hot, not too busy. One overcast windy day.

Yeah, it’s good but not that good. It is certainly better than trolling round the UK at this time of year. A working knowledge of German would be handy as there are packs of our Teutonic buddies roaming the island. A great peloton came zapping past us one day and their leader shouted ‘Achtung!’ to which without thinking we all, gentlemen of a certain age, replied ‘Spitfeur!'[ask your Dad]