TV remote is doofer

Ours are mainly mispronounciations:

The Radio Times is pronounced as though Greek “rad-ee-ot-imees” – think we nicked that from Victor Lewis-Smith of all people.

The sheet that falls between page eight and page ten of the radeeotimees and any other document is pronounced the same as the name of the composer / musician “Paganini”.

A newer one that only appears at that special time of year when the double issue radeeotimees is actually bought, was originally my attempt to satirise the appalling facebook / mumsnetty language abuse but was so striking that it has now caught in our household and is used far too frequently. Hanging my head in shame for this one: Chrimblybobs.

Faffon (said in a French accent)

Does anybody else use “faffige”? As in

“Do you want to go for a ride with x&y?”
“Nah, there’ll be too much faffage”

Now used as a general term for spending too long preparing to start something.

“dressder”

As in “I am more dressed than you are”

scrim brim = ice cream
bubby = bread
harvard = any product purchased that turns out to be crap.

Me and Jr use the word remote for the remote, but we can’t mention it without saying “The remote that controls what? The Robot?!” from which film? 😀

Rad-ee-ot-I-mees is a classic 🙂

I am going to give heined a try. Piers Morgan was on the TV earlier, I’m still feeling heined now.

Lots of strange words in our family.
A jumblatt is a wallet, after Walid Jumblatt the Lebanese Druze leader.
A Sacamain is a handbag, from the French.
Loo roll is “swipe of the R variety”.

A jumblatt is a wallet, after Walid Jumblatt the Lebanese Druze leader.

Doesn’t everyone say that?

‘plonk’ to describe the pile of clean clothes washing that needs to be sorted & put away

“have you done the plonk?”
“who’s tackling the plonk mountain then?”

Origin lost in time but something to do with wine… if i can get through the washing then i can sit down and have a glass of plonk

Telyputer – The TV with a Mac Mini attached that we use as a media centre.

Crossalonts – for breakfast with other pastries.

Does anybody else use “faffige”? As in

Yep, used in our house.

A favourite dish in our house when growing up was mum’s chicken broth which she made with the carcass and left over chicken on a Monday after the Sunday roast. My sister and still follow this ritual in our own houses and it’s called Chicken Brothel.

Remote = dibber.

TV remote is doofer

It absolutely is.

The uncomfortable noise an open car window makes is “hubbling”.

Daddies medicine – beer

Grohl – bog roll (an eccentric Auntie knitted us an old fashioned toilet roll cover, that whilst supposed to look like a Victorian lady in all her finery had a facial resemblance to the Foo Fighters Frontman)

Bed-raggled for bedraggled

Usually related to how scruffy the dog looks when she’s just woken up but now common parlance for anything scruffy

Juicey for dilute orange (cos nephew used to say it as a baby)

Zapper for the remote

Faffage I use a lot. I have zero tolerance for faffage

Heffalump for Elephant ( house at poo corner?)

Discombobulated for confused

My 14.5 year old daughter still has “jarm-jarms” as she could not get her head around the word ‘pyjamas’.

She is also known as ‘Bafryn’ as that is what she called herself for 3 years – unable to pronounce ‘Kathryn’.  She also has from a young age called herself ‘Mini-boss’ as I was the ‘big boss’ (At least according to her!).

Also, my 12.5 year old son Alex gets called ‘Halex’ because again, my daughter called him that and and then his twin James copied it.

James got away lightly – he gets called “Jamesie” by his siblings as a term of endearment.

Also, any fresh fruit juice is called by the children ‘Special Juice’ – because we were careful with it because of their teeth and they didn’t drink squash for the same reason.

I am going to give heined a try. Piers Morgan was on the TV earlier, I’m still feeling heined now.

Perfect example!

Same as TJ, TV remote is a zapper

Nackles – the thing on a deer’s head (invented by my wife as a small child)

Pockycoat – an anorak / duffel coat (invented by my B-i-L; same era)

in fact that whole family has a bit of a thing, sometimes deliberate (eg: referring to the town on the Thames as St. Aines) and sometimes not (Haribo are now known as Ha-ree-bo to rhyme / cadence with placebo) despite any number of TV adverts with the right pronunciation.

My eldest is still called p-Tolly after my youngest’s attempts to pronounce, and collectively they are herberps from a memorable pronouncement from the youngest as a 2 year old as we were gathering up the paraphenalia that goes with taking kids out to eat, he strode off with a clear as day ‘come on, you herberps!’ which the rest of the diners seemed to think was sweet.

One of my favourites though is from a friend; on holiday his son (Univ age) started chatting up a young scouse lass and asked her what she did.

‘I’m a trainee barrister’

‘Interesting, what school are you at’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Where are you doing your training?’

‘Costa Coffee’

Like St. Aines – we sometimes drive through St. Evenage.

Wasn’t faffage popularised by D.I. Grimm in The Thin Blue Line?

TV remote control is a confibulator. Living with my 9 year old son means the chance of operating said confibulator is remote.
A dirty toilet bowl is a Hawaii. After the runway on the original Hawaii 5-0 series.

TV remote is doofer

That’s what my grandparents always called it.
Like a couple of other posters on this thread, my grandfather was also a radio operator during the war and he could “speak” fluent Morse right up to his dying day. He referred to several everyday household items as DitDits, DitDahs, DahDits or Dahdahs.

We called the remote “buttons” as a kid, still do.

A hangover from my daughter is “Bobby bees” for Bumblebees. Still makes me 🥰

+1 for buttons and my most favorite came about after we took granddaughters to Monkey World and the little on couldn’t pronounce Orangutans, they are now forever referred to as Oranumutans!

Moyder, as in talk rubbish

“Stop moydering”

I think it’s a north wales thing

Also, can’t say handbag without saying ” a haaaaandbaaaag?” from some comedy thing probably in the 80s. Always had the parents laughing and it stuck.

Also, topatoes. As in, topato chips.

all come from my daughter:
Leg-logs. – leggings
knick-knocks – knickers
My daughter calls the cat foofy – her name is Fifi, Incidentally the cat is a C***
smashing – PS4 particularly the game Burnout-Paradise

Confuzzled.

Facipulation is one from work. It’s halfway between facilitation and manipulation.

YogPog

Yoghurt obviously.

Flump

A grumpy flounce, as in

‘I see the boy has just flumped out of the room again.’

Or

‘He’s in a flump.’

TV remote is a hoofer.
Mrs stu used to call the cupboard under the stairs “the glory hole”
I drilled a hole in it and everything. Still didn’t work. 😂

” a haaaaandbaaaag?”

’tis Lady Bracknell from Oscar Wilde’s play “The Importance of Being Ernest”.

Very boring, remote is just simply known as “anyone know where the bloody buttons are” …

Very boring, remote is just simply known as “anyone know where the bloody buttons are” …

You should live a little…start plunking, hoofing and doofing.

A pint of Fresh orange and lemonade is a ‘Jimmy Saville’. I genuinely forget that its only me, my brother and my parents call it that and more than once I’ve sent some confused soul to the bar to get me one when its their round.

Any dish involving a flatbread is a Naan-taco.

Any toff that we can’t remember the name of is called Finton

My niece calls sugar ‘Lucky Salt’

A thick fluffy dressing gown is a ‘Burlio’ –  named, for reasons lost in the mists of time, after disgraced Italian Premier Burlio Silversconie

Remote is the clacker in ours

A pressing need to go to the loo is ‘The Clackers’

Is moydering a variation on mithering?

Was a word where I was brought up in Lancashire but meant pestering (usually by talking rubbish).

I’m going to the funeral next week of an old friend and mentor who coined the work “Eranu’ a term he and a fellow mural painter used to described a made-up quality of light in renaissance paintings when they worked together in the 1980s. They’d wave vaguely at paintings in museums and declare – ‘oo its got some lovely eranu going on in the back ground there’ in the hope it would be overheard and enter the lexicon of art criticism

He shared an anecdote about this with Vic Reeves in a chance encounter back stage at the Birmingham hippodrome sometime in the early 90s