Mad stuff you've seen on a cycle path

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  • Mad stuff you've seen on a cycle path
  • Premier Icon tomd
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    A pig’s head today.

    Was a bit confused, then further up the track saw some boxes with plastic champagne classes and some drink containers. Putting my CSI head on, the proximity to posh uni and time of the year would indicate some jolly japes by some university society last night.

    Premier Icon DezB
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    Cars and vans. Every day the bastards cut me off on one particular roundabout because they are incapable of turning their steering wheels correctly. I know! It’s MAD!

    Premier Icon tomd
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    I don’t even register that kind of madness any more. This was proper segregated path through and old railway tunnel though, just jumped out as being out of the ordinary.

    doris5000
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    the other week there was this cool ambulance golf buggy thing on my way home from work. Sadly the paramedics were tending to a couple of OD’d smackheads lying by the river which wasn’t so cool.

    cheekyboy
    Member

    I once saw Towpath Tommy getting a sweat on !

    gazc
    Member

    i once saw a MAMIL who smiled and said ‘Hello’ WTF???????????

    lemonysam
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    People shooting a grumble movie in a rover 75 under Blaydon bridge, a naked adolescent on a scooter and a man pooing in the bushes whilst shouting “DON’T LOOK AT ME”.

    Premier Icon DezB
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    antigee
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    presumably the cycle path took some land from the golf course

    Premier Icon njee20
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    Thought I saw a cyclist on one once, but was wrong.

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
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    An upside down Ford Escort in Liverpool canal.

    There was absolute no explanation of how it got there as the road was about 20ft above and no sign of damage to the wall.

    On the same ride about 20 minutes later, an expensive loking Taxi Radio/Comms setup on the actual path.

    avdave2
    Member

    The maddest things on the bike paths of Brighton are the cyclists trying to use them. Mad and confused when they just randomly start and end. It’s like building all your roads running up to a river and then not actually thinking you might need a bridge.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
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    This morning I saw proper tow path rage, with one cyclist stopping, turning round and chasing another whilst shouting various threats and obscenities.

    Sadly I missed the incident that sparked it, and when the angry cyclist gave up his chase and came back towards me, I felt it prudent not to ask him…..

    Premier Icon tthew
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    On Wednesday afternoon, a shagged out old motorbike doing 30mph+ down the Sustrans railway line from Blacon towards Connah’s Quay. It’s about 10 foot wide, there’s no way they’d have been able to avoid a developing emergency. Fekin eejits.

    nwallace
    Member

    Some guy crouching in the overgrowth in full camo combats.
    Only noticed as I passed because he moved… I moved faster after that

    Premier Icon nach
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    A goose trying to drown a duck by repeatedly grabbing it’s head and holding it under the water.

    Niche!

    πŸ™‚

    Premier Icon SaxonRider
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    A partially intact deer skeleton.

    Premier Icon pt0608
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    On the Avonmouth bridge cycle path I’ve been overtaken by cheeky motorbike/scooter riders.

    Premier Icon iainc
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    tom – it’s the online guy with the dog that you annoyed out to get ya by setting traps πŸ™‚

    Premier Icon tomd
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    Yeah probably is Iain! He probably hacked the head off a pig with a pedal wrench and left it there as a warning, then downed a few bottles of champagne while laughing manically.

    Premier Icon iainc
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    cubist
    Member

    I followed a trail of clothes last winter. Started off with a shoe, a few meters on a sock, then another shoe all the way up to a pair of boxers about 200m further on.

    Had expected to find a frozen naked person at some point.

    PJM1974
    Member

    A few years back I turned a corner and was greeted by the sight of a lad with his keks round his ankles having a poo by the side of the path. He acknowledged me with a bashful “mornin”. We were approximately seventy five yards away from a public lav at the time…

    I’ve also been stopped by a mad old lady in a Corsa who demanded to know where I was planning to ride just in case I was thinking about going off the cycle path at any point.

    Vinte
    Member

    I got overtaken by a Derny on the Guild Wheel a few days ago. I jumped on to his back wheel and slipstreamed him for a while.

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
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    Saw a car parked up with the driver across the front seats and one leg out of an open window. I assume that he had gone flat as a kind lady was on her knees trying to blow him back up.

    I waved and said hello. He waved back.

    cheekyboy
    Member

    I’ve also been stopped by a mad old lady in a Corsa who demanded to know where I was planning to ride just in case I was thinking about going off the cycle path at any point.

    I had a very similar experience with an Old bloke in Oxenhope, basically got a bollocking before I did anything wrong, incidentally I ended up lost on the moors, thought about changing my name to Heathcliffe πŸ™‚

    Klunk
    Member

    Large black tortoise.

    timb34
    Member

    Huge wild boar, twice.

    Probably not actually huge, but when a large black thing bolts out of a ditch 2m away at night then they look pretty huge.

    I have better lights now.

    A dog walker who signalled me to stop before saying “Old Benny in the 12.30. You can’t go wrong”

    It was the week of the Cheltenham Festival. Old Benny came in first at 9:1.

    (no I didn’t put any money on it)

    BillMC
    Member

    Two frogs in flagrante.

    Premier Icon tomd
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    The mention of the Corsa above reminded me of the old couple driving a purple corsa down a narrow cyle path overgrown by bushes. They sort of emerged from the bushes and stopped to ask me “if this was the way to the lighting showroom son?”. “No, no it’s not. You’ve turned off the road, bumped up a kerb and driven 200m down a cycle path, which is a dead end. The lighting showroom is over there.”

    PJM1974
    Member

    I’ve been trying to block out the occasion when I found myself exiting a trail adjacent to a church car park and witnessed a Honda parked up containing what appeared to be two late middle aged, sandal-shod Geography teachers. The non-beardy of the twosome was on her knees heroically fellating away on consecrated ground.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
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    We once had to redirect an old couple who had got their car stuck on one of the fire roads halfway round the Kitchener Trail at Sherwood Pines πŸ™„

    Bit of a theme emerging here

    cfinnimore
    Member

    I see everything other than bikes, usually.

    Professional dog walkers mostly. Arsehattering Fudrainbows, the lot of ’em.

    And Ill parked council/scotrail/any other public amenity serving vehicle bang in the middle of the path.

    Exiting the trail early one morning a few weeks ago, the old farm opposite was an elderly lady, naked from the waist up sweeping the front of the farm. 😯

    As a member of the emergency services i have seen many, many strange sights at stupid o’clock in the morning. The most memorable were the two young ladies in the car who explained they had stopped for a chat. I then had to ask at what poiint all their clothes fell off πŸ™‚

    bencooper
    Member

    Riding a recumbent along a Glasgow cycle path, passed some old lads sharing a bottle of something, and one shouted “Hey, you could choke your chicken on that bike!”

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