Viewing 34 posts - 1 through 34 (of 34 total)
  • Lost my mother tonight.
  • Caher
    Full Member

    The strongest, most feisty person I ever knew I’ve just lost. And my best best friend. In Ireland to support my dad but he’s supporting me I feel.
    She got a stroke on Monday and was put on end of life care, so I’ve been the admin guy but it’s hard.

    zippykona
    Full Member

    Been there with my dad and watched him take his last breath.

    2 weeks of having a part of me missing and then sitting on a cliff looking at the sea, he came back to me.

    The hole was filled , I smiled again and every time I’m at the coast we are back together.

    It takes time but you will get there.

    alpin
    Free Member

    Mum died of leukemia last year.

    Miss our phone calls. Smile when I think of her.

    You’ll no doubt have the odd cry at random moments.

    Life goes on.

    Be happy.

    Caher
    Full Member

    Thanks. Spent the week watching her dwindling away but unprepared for the final part.

    SaxonRider
    Full Member

    My sincere condolences, @caher.

    I’ve been there with my dad, and four years on, it can still stir me up emotionally.

    Remember her with thanks, and raise a glass to her.

    Best wishes.

    Mugboo
    Full Member

    Went through the same this Jan. Brought Mum home on the Tues and took it in turns to watch her die till Thur when nature finally took its course. Very sad and I feel that if it was me I would prefer to be put down in the animal sense.
    My Mum had MND and her illness was mercifully short compared with some but the last few days were truly horrible so I have every sympathy for you all and your Mum (your description of your Mum sounds very similar to my Mum).

    I found talking about it helped. The more I talked the better I felt. It still makes me cry sometimes and maybe it always will but the occasions are getting less. Sounds glib but I just remember the good things.

    My sister shared this link and I think its probably right.

    https://www.indy100.com/article/grief-viral-thread-lauren-herschel-ball-in-box-analogy-death-8792541

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    🥴

    Sad news.

    tuskaloosa
    Free Member

    My condolences to you and your family Caher.

    onehundredthidiot
    Full Member

    Sorry for your loss.

    I was at my grans funeral in a tiny village in Tipperary. It was odd. There were brigadiers and Colonels from the army and no one knows why. (The longest journey she ever made was to Edinburgh) Apparently she ran a poker school. And when the gardia came to the pub, because we were drinking after hours, they just took their headgear off and sat and got pissed.

    Seriously weird.

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    My deepest condolences to you and your father. Nothing else I can say that hasn’t already been said. Take care

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    Condolences, OP

    Losing mine currently – it’s slow old bastard, dementia

    Remembering the good times is the way through it for me/us

    I’d be gutted if I thought that my death would leave my loved ones distraught; would far prefer they raise a glass and toast me now & then

    slackboy
    Full Member

    Sorry to hear that.

    It’s really tough, my mum died at Christmas and really wasn’t prepared for how hard I would take it.

    Scattered her ashes a couple of weeks ago and that has helped.

    It’s ok not not be ok about this, make sure you look after yourself and those around you.

    Mounty_73
    Full Member

    Sorry for your loss.

    gnusmas
    Full Member

    Sincerest condolences to you, your father and your family, so sorry for your loss. If you want a chat or if there’s anything else I can do, please let me know.

    Kuco
    Full Member

    Sorry for your loss.

    bally1363
    Free Member

    I lost my mum at 16 I’m 56 now you will see her in your dreams and feel her in your heart she will always be with you,love=energy an energy never dies,keep them wheels turning,God bless

    shooterman
    Full Member

    So sorry to hear about your Mam Caher.

    Go easy on yourself and as others have said, it’s ok not to be ok.

    seosamh77
    Free Member

    Sorry to hear, went through the same last year, not going to lie it’s not easy, but just remember and cherish the good times.

    big_scot_nanny
    Full Member

    Ach, thats bad news fella, really sorry to hear that. Lots of love from all of the BSN family to you and yours.

    MrOvershoot
    Full Member

    Caher remember the good times & have a good cry too, I’m still doing both over 2 years since cancer felled her 🙁
    Its awful thinking the person who brought you into the world & cared for you all those years has passed away, as Shooterman said its OK not to be OK.

    fossy
    Full Member

    Sorry for the news. Feel thankful it wasn’t drawn out.

    FIL passed away quite quickly from Stage 4 lung cancer. MIL’s had about 15 years of a slow death – stroke and heart attack, limited mobility, now in Nursing home – can’t get out of bed without hoist, has to wear a nappy etc, yet her mind is still there, just body buggered up. Nearly lost her 3 months ago, but pulled round.

    It’s not good getting old. Best wishes.

    senorj
    Full Member

    “Sorry for the news. Feel thankful it wasn’t drawn out.”
    Indeed.
    Never easy, always a shock.
    Take your time.

    Ambrose
    Full Member

    Really sorry to hear your news. I read your post earlier today and couldn’t think of any way to respond that didn’t sound trite or superficial. TBH, I still can’t but rest assured that whilst you feel awful now things gradually settle and somehow improve. Remember the good times.

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    Lost mine 18 months ago, I am starting to come out the other end.

    Take care of yourself.

    Frankenstein
    Free Member

    Sending a hug xxx

    Very sad news.

    Take care of yourself and family.

    rickon
    Free Member

    Lost my dad last year, buried him a couple of days ago.

    It’s not easy, but you have the know that it’s ok to be sad. It is sad. It gets better, every day it gets better.

    If you feel like you need support, there are bereavement councillors and services that you can either find yourself, or see your doctor for information.

    chewkw
    Free Member

    Sorry for your loss.
    Stay strong.

    jonnyrockymountain
    Full Member

    Sorry for your loss
    It’s 5 yrs ago today my mum passed away and while shedding a tear writing this, you will be strong 💪 you have your moments but you have to be positive and think of the good times, mums live forever 🙂

    seosamh77
    Free Member

    Dunno if this will help any, but it did help me just to ramble on a wee bit and to listen to other peoples experiences.

    https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-your-mothers-death/

    Hope you’re doing ok bud, I do feel for you. It’s hard, up there with the hardest you’ll experience, but while you won’t really get over it, you will learn to live with it.

    Aw the best to you and yours.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Ah, bollocks man.

    It gets better, I promise. We couldn’t cope if it didn’t. But honestly, it does.
    No use to you now, I know.
    Everyone says it, but that’s just our way of acknowledging the awfulness of what you’re going through and a way of expressing our empathy.

    It’s bloody true though. I think about my parents every single day.
    I dream about them often and at first I resented those dreams, because I felt awful waking up to realise I’d been cheated of their company.
    Now, I welcome them and wake with a smile, glad to have spent a little more time with them.

    I know you have to be tough for everyone, but please go and get some grief counselling as soon as it doesn’t feel disrespectful to do so – it will help you so much in the long run.

    Love to you,

    Pete .

    jamj1974
    Full Member

    Very sad to hear you have lost your mother, caher.

    Rusty says all I would have said, but better.

    Thinking of you.

    Defender
    Free Member

    I’m really very sorry to hear that, please accept my condolences.

    Yes, Rusty Spanner sums it up very well, I still have ‘moments’, I had one earlier today, they do get fewer and easier over time.

    Stay strong and talk to people about her.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Horrible news – it never is easy and I am sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad 10 years ago and my mum 8 years ago. So many times I still think ‘I must call mum about x, y or z’ or simply wish they were around to ask questions only they would know the answer to such as what was I like as a child and how did they deal with it (so I am able to consider how I can deal with my children).

    Then just his weekend my wife heard about a close friend dying (expected – cancer) and immediately felt guilty at not having seen her in the weeks before so texted another friend to ask how her mum was doing (dementia) and found out that she went missing last night and was has just been found dead.

    Life (and death) is shit sometimes.

    Futureboy77
    Full Member

    Condolences mate.

    Currently sitting outside HDU in Glasgow hoping that I’m not away to loose my Mum.
    I lost my Dad 10 years ago, and although it does get easier, it never goes away entirely. That said, it’s mostly happy thoughts these days.

    Look after yourself, you are important too!

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