Something to make you chuckle for a minute or two:

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=641683747164587

Surprising number of mechanicals too for something you think most ordinary people would get their bike serviced for

haha, brilliant.

i get why the shoes are already attached to the bikes, but for the sake of about 20 seconds…. could be the difference between eating tarmac and not! 😛

i get why the shoes are already attached to the bikes, but for the sake of about 20 seconds…. could be the difference between eating tarmac and not!

Same as lots of sports – if the pros do it, I should too. Which is fine if you’ve done all the training they do, but if you haven’t done the homework…

Triathlon seems to manage somehow to be both pompous and comedic all at the same time. In any running club or cycling club, it’s always the triathletes  that seem either trying some hocus pocus health routine, or have the bike that’s not been serviced, or has the weird mix of really basic and really expensive parts that makes no sense. In my club that was a steel framed altus groupset bike with a set of Enve carbon tri bars (for the weight saving)…

I tried a sport tri once as a taster event (ie for fun) and got told off by a marshal for taking off my helmet before I got to my box of stuff to do my run.

The Triathlete Paradox:

Faster than i will ever be on a bike
Bike costs a lot more than mine

Still not “cyclists”

Excellent. I just thought of the Keystone Cops.

v7fmp

haha, brilliant.

i get why the shoes are already attached to the bikes, but for the sake of about 20 seconds…. could be the difference between eating tarmac and not!

If this is the clip I’m thinking of that I watched a few days ago, what’s funny is the guy constantly struggling to get the shoes sorted out & start riding.
At no point does he seem to think, “bollocks to this, it would be much easier to just twist the shoes off the pedals, put them on & get going”. It seems like he must do it the triathlete way….

Lots of crunchy gears & chains slipping too from the sounds of it.

Triathlon seems to manage somehow to be both pompous and comedic all at the same time.

I agree with this completely, and I write that as someone who’s been at the sharp end of a few triathlons (just making sure I tick the pompous box 😉 ).

However TBF I think if you looked at the tail end of the ‘Ard Rock, or any given weekend at Swinley, you’d see some similarly comedic riding and geared up ‘athletes’.

I’ve done a few sprint tri’s and found them to be very welcoming and fun. I’m sure theres loads of people that are trying too hard to be pro and think there is no place for newbies, but that happens in all sports. I found it loads in climbing.

That though is hillarious!. Stop trying to be a pro, put your shoes on first, and set off in a lower gear!!

Hilarious. Triathletes are well known not to be able to ride bikes properly. I’d never attempt the shoe thing on the bike.

They all need to start somewhere – after all, we all did too. I tend to quietly chuckle when I see people trying to learn; transitions are pretty challenging and for many, the absolute last thing they consider training on – after all, how hard can it be to put shoes on…

That being said, when I used to work in the triathlon industry, the ration of knobbers to normal/nice was much higher than some other sports. On the flip side tho, for bike shops, triathletes are sometimes the biggest cash cows – and some of the ‘fools’ will spend huge amounts of money for gains, while forgetting to do basics such as transition reps…

Several funny videos on that page but I think this is the best

had someone been through the transition area and fiddled with everyones gears?

I have done a few daft triathlons. Shoe on bike looks pro but also from experience after a swim when your legs are like jelly and your feet are frozen solid being able to plonk you fooet on the shoes is probably easier than trying to flick and clip the pedals.

As for the poor guy struggling he’s probably over cooked it a bit and just can’t get his head round what’s going on and what to do.

I do find the one pedal and over mount a bit weird one though on a switchy bike. I favour just jumping on and the sorting both feet out.

The helmet rule is fair it seems daft but honestly even at the very unpro triathlons including canoes and mountain bikes and stuff. People are total selfish pricks, I’ve seen people throw other bikes out the way and dump their stuff everywhere, discarded helmets in the transition get in everyone else’s way.

The thing is though all the cyclists laugh at the bike transition but you can gaurantee at the other end it’s just as funny as a runner watching cyclists try to run in a straight line.

They can be a right laugh though, thoroughly recommend the Cairngorm Adventure Triathlon and the Craggy Island triathlon. For a bit more interest than a road event.

but you can gaurantee at the other end it’s just as funny as a runner watching cyclists try to run in a straight line.

Yup, that was me on the same tester event. got off the bike, and it was like trying to run using some-ones else’s legs.

The bloke in the running club who had the weird bike came out with me one Sunday for a longish ride. It was a lovely sunny May morning and his house was maybe 2 mins cycling downhill to mine. He showed up dripping wet…I asked him if he’d been out all morning and was sweating…No, he’d just jumped into the shower fully dressed to get a feel for what it’d be like cycling with damp clothes…

I remember some good advice I got for the Nottingham outlaw. If you’re not likely to win the thing, take your time in transition. If ten minutes getting dried and dressed means being comfortable and not chaffing for the next 4+ hours, it’s time well spent.
At any one time 2/3 of the field are doing what isn’t their primary sport, but it’s always easiest to spot the non cyclists.

thoroughly recommend the Cairngorm Adventure Triathlon

Pretty sure that’s long gone.

There’s an Aviemore Tri takes place at Loch Morlich/Badaguish and now the Speyside Tri at Loch Insh back to Aviemore too. I did the inaugural Speyside last year and am considering 2022 so I can defend my Vintage category win (cheeky bastards!). It’s mainly off-road too.

I did spend a bit of time working on the 1st transition but was still very slow.

On the flip side tho, for bike shops, triathletes are sometimes the biggest cash cows – and some of the ‘fools’ will spend huge amounts of money for gains, while forgetting to do basics such as transition reps…

The London bike shop I used to work in made a fortune in the weeks leading up to the annual London Triathlon. It was up in Docklands so there were always loads of corporate types doing it. They’d be in the shop 6 weeks before “I’m doing the London Tri and I need…”

A petite woman turned up once, asking for a 58cm bike. Turned out she was the PA and had been sent out in her lunchtime with £5000 in cash(!)* to buy her boss a bike. He’d just pulled £5k out of the desk drawer and said “I’m a 58cm, go buy me a nice bike, just ask the shop what’s best for that money”.

*this was in the mid/late 90’s, £5000 bought an absolute top of the range road bike back then.

I don’t get why more people don’t use mtb spds. You can still have a decent stiff-soled disco slipper but just have them sitting there waiting to slip on after the swim (something with a nice big velcro strap) then jog to the line with your bike, hop on and you’re away.

Another case of having all the right gear and no idea..

That though is hillarious!. Stop trying to be a pro, put your shoes on first, and set off in a lower gear!!

There used to be (maybe still is) a tri starting at Port Eynon on Gower. After the swim, the cycle is straight up a long, steep hill. A huge number of competitors would pedal from transition, not be clipped in as they turned the corner and saw the start of this hill – no chance of getting your foot in a shoe if you are struggling to put power down. A minute of pre-race recce would have shown them the problem. In fact, they would have seen it as they drove into the village on the only road.

No, he’d just jumped into the shower fully dressed to get a feel for what it’d be like cycling with damp clothes…

I did a few tris, years ago. It is astonishingly difficult to pull any clothes onto your body when you’re sopping wet. Suddenly, you need to someone to help you get dressed. It’s not such a bad thing to have practiced this once or twice.

Thanks for reminding me about the Aviemore tri, just entered it. Now where’s my swimming cossie?

I don’t get why more people don’t use mtb spds. You can still have a decent stiff-soled disco slipper but just have them sitting there waiting to slip on after the swim (something with a nice big velcro strap) then jog to the line with your bike, hop on and you’re away.

You can jog the short distance out of the transition in your roadie shoes anyway. I think this is what I did.

Thanks for reminding me about the Aviemore tri, just entered it. Now where’s my swimming cossie?

It’ll almost certainly be wetsuits.

 It’s not such a bad thing to have practiced this once or twice.

That sounds very sensible, all this guy wanted to know was what cycling in wet shorts felt like, all he achieved was some chafing

thoroughly recommend the Cairngorm Adventure Triathlon

Pretty sure that’s long gone.

Aw man. I have come second with my dad on the canoe leg to be absolutely destroyed on the cycling before now. I also claim to have instigated “gravel” bikes on the course, I got loads of comments at the start about how it was unsuitable but I knew it was perfect. And after two further years everyone was on them!

I got loads of comments at the start about how it was unsuitable but I knew it was perfect. And after two further years everyone was on them!

On the start line of a 25mile TT, around 1999/2000, the starter made some disparaging comments about my slightly deep section, bladed spoke wheels. They’ll never catch on, was the gist of his sarcasm.. 😀

I did the Blenheim Tri about 8 years ago. I completely failed to practice any of the transitions and I reckon if some dude hadn’t taken pity on me I’d still be there now trying to get out of my wetsuit.

It’ll almost certainly be wetsuits.

Yeah, I meant for training purposes. I’m not packing for the event yet 🙂

if you insist on those small speedos we can all see you’re not packing at all.

My wife did her one and only tri (sprint) about 5 years ago. turned up on a borrowed bike, having not ridden a road bike for 10 years. Flat pedals, running trainers on etc. . Finished 3rd female overall. (mind, she is a good swimmer and excellent runner, probably cycling her worse discipline, but still ok.) Afterwards we chatted and I asked about her untapped potential and her about doing more: “oh, I don’t think so, from the little I’ve seen tri is full of absolute nobbers, I’ll stick to the Fells, thanks.” Shame really.

My last tri, there were volunteer strippers and slappers.

Stripping off wetsuits and slapping on sun cream.

Part of the reason I gave up criteriums was that the triathletes would turn up, go hell for leather for the first corner, fail to make the turn and take out half the bunch. Every. Thursday. Night.

Triathletes are well known not to be able to ride bikes properly.

I know it’s a really stereotypical thing to say but it does seem to be a discipline populated by very good runners and/or swimmers who’ve decided that there really isn’t enough money to be spent in those two areas and they need to add something really expensive to the equation.

This reminds me of my #1 glentress 7 tip- no matter the cost, never let anyone in a triathlon shirt overtake you on the climbs before the singletrack.

v7fmp
Free Member

i get why the shoes are already attached to the bikes, but for the sake of about 20 seconds…. could be the difference between eating tarmac and not!

Especially when you can barely ride a bike. I’m pretty good and I still don’t want to try and get on with bare feet and then en-shoe myself, I’d die.

I know it’s a really stereotypical thing to say but it does seem to be a discipline populated by very good runners and/or swimmers who’ve decided that there really isn’t enough money to be spent in those two areas and they need to add something really expensive to the equation.

I think it’s more that it’s full of people who are either swimmers, cyclists or runners, and very rarely all three. And the funny videos are always going to be the cycling – you don’t see the people doing breaststroke around the course, and watching someone grimace, plod then walk around the running circuit isn’t particularly entertaining either.

Waiting near the start line of my very first triathlon about 15 years ago.

Some Bloke……”This your first tri is it mate?”

Me……”It is indeed, how did you know?”

Some Bloke……”The zip on your wetsuit is supposed to be at the back.”

Me……”Ah, that maybe explains why it was so hard to get on”

Cue a frantic dash back to the car, a quick change and made it back just as they were setting off.

Someone (was it BikeSnob) said years ago that triathletes aren’t cyclists, merely aerobic exercise enthusiasts, and have no interest in it beyond how much ground they can cover in a given amount of time. They’d be just as happy – and richer – if it was swim-spacehopper-run.

They’d be just as happy – and richer – if it was swim-spacehopper-run.

May I interest sir in this unidirectional elastomer weave spacehopper with carbon tusks (or horns), filled with a special blend of 20.9% oxygen, 79% nitrogen with a careful mix of traces of other gasses. Yours for only £3,299. Oh and sir will be wanting these spacehopper specific trainers, and this spacehopper specific waist pack to store those energy gels. Oh and this virtual spacehopper training device where you can virtually bounce through any course from your own pain cave…

virtual spacehopper training device

Lolz I want one of these