At 40, I was in a job I hated, that involved driving 50K miles a year and staying away from my Wife and young family at least three (up to five) nights a week. Was unfit, massively overweight and had no interest in doing anything.

Then I got made redundant, no redundancy pay as I had been on a fixed term contract (that ‘would always be renewed’ – until it wasn’t). I had no savings and needed to earn £2k a month to pay the bills and feed the family.

I found a training course that I thought was vaguely interesting in a sector I had never considered spent £995 on a course that I couldn’t afford and started my own business. Fast forward 17 years and I have my own successful business, a range of new qualifications that I could never have dreamed of, employ 15 people and enjoy a cycling holiday at least once a year. I am fitter than most of my peers, still a bit overweight but no longer morbidly obese.

My life began again at 42. Was it easy, no – to this day my wife still asks are we getting paid this month. Was it worthwhile, hell yes. Did I ever think I would get this far – never in a million years.

When I look back at who I was and who I am now, I am basically the same person, the redundancy gave me the imperative to succeed.

If I can do it you can too.

As a footnote, there is huge value in getting help. Over the years I have seen hypnotherapists, counsellors and I currently have a business coach to speak to. It just helps to have someone else in your corner.

Posted 6 days ago

40 is the new 30 and even past 50 I’m still only about 35 in my head. Enjoyed a morning round the Glentress black this morning, that’s not something I would have considered 20 years ago.

Posted 6 days ago

Age is a number – as they all say – “You don’t stop cycling because you grow old. You grow old because you stop cycling.”

I live by this mantra, 58 this year and I get up at 5am go to the gym for an hour,walk the dogs, then go and do a days work.

I’ve had a few setbacks, walked out of a cushy job at 55, not a shrewd move I thought at the time. Got a great job a few weeks later in a supermarket (don’t knock it), team was great, customers okay. Then got another job fermenting bacteria, closer to home, now have a life.

Something will always come up, it gets a little rocky, but it’s all part of the learning process – everydays a school day.

Posted 6 days ago

Thanks for the further replies. Definitely helping.

So, update on my knee. Physio is pretty much certain it is a meniscus tear, but a light one, thankfully. He is confident with some work and patience I can be back to normal within 4-6 weeks. Starting today.

Posted 5 days ago

Life is what you want it to be. The only thing that stands in your way is the barriers that you put in front of yourself. That may seem trite but if you strip everything back to the basics then its true.

Figure out what you want.
Figure out how to get there and just go for it.

You may get sidetracked in a different direction but that’s cool. What’s important is that you take positive steps in the direction you want to go. You really dont want to look back in your 70s and hate the person you are because you didn’t have what it took to go and get what you wanted.

Posted 5 days ago

Life is what you want it to be. The only thing that stands in your way is the barriers that you put in front of yourself. That may seem trite but if you strip everything back to the basics then its true.

I totally agree. It’s all in my hands. But of course easier said than done. I had another panic attack last night, actually after a solo bike ride. No idea why, maybe it’s all playing in the back of my mind.

Posted 5 days ago

Just remember, there are a lot of people in their 70’s and 80’s who would give everything they have to be 40.

Your future starts with today, so crack on and make it a good day. Build on it day by day, week by week. Of course you can be fitter, healthier and having more fun in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s onwards than you do now. Im way past 40 and enjoy life more now than when I was 40. Im fitter as well.

Posted 5 days ago

@trail_rat

Oil and gas (at least offshore) is a shitty industry these days and just not worth it for me due to, a) getting sick of it and burning out, and b) the pay being half of what I got back in the 00s. I had some good times but TBH some of the most miserable times in my life working for certain offices. The true colours of some management were shown when the oil prices tanked.

Anyway, I’ve been away for a few years now so hard to go back. I’ve got no interest anyway.

Not interested in working in an office either, so considering some kind of trade job which I’m looking into. Don’t need massive money. Thank God I paid my house off a few years ago and didn’t waste all my money.

Currently still working part-time in a supermarket which TBH isn’t all that terrible, but need something better.

Posted 5 days ago

So, moving house has taken a few extra steps. We are actively looking at a couple of new builds out near Buxton for example. I like the location a lot, despite the thought of bleak winters up there.

I would like some advice on getting a mortgage for the first time at the tender age of almost 40. My partner has had a mortgage now for over 10 years, on her second home which she now shares with me. We have very similar wages, secure enough jobs. Now I went through 8-10 years of a lot of debt, had no savings etc, but never got into any difficulties. Never missed a payments, clean history in that sense. This was all cleared about 2 years ago now and I’m saving now and more comfortable than I ever thought I would be (relatively speaking). Do lenders look that far back and will it influence the outcome? The mortgage will be about 30-40% LTV and we wont be paying out much more than we currently are. I don’t want to start getting exited and then we get knocked back because of my history.

Posted 2 days ago

If you didn’t miss any payments or default on anything then you should be fine. Not having had a mortgage before won’t harm you in your application, it’s more based upon what you can afford and by the sounds of it you’ll be fine there too.
Best bet is to speak to an independent financial advisor. Some mortgage lenders won’t deal with IFAs (HSBC used to be one), but a lot will. They can help advise on the basics of how to handle your partners current mortgage, equity split etc.

Posted 1 day ago

At 39 I was single, doing a job I wasn’t into. Arranged my own 40th birthday (a trip to BPW) & was generally not happy with life.

Fast forward 5yrs I met someone (we’re now married) changed jobs, then career, then got promoted to my current role & am loving life.

You never quite know what’s round the corner, but sometimes you have to take a chance. It’s not easy it’s scary but it’s worth while betting on yourself.

Posted 1 day ago

I would like some advice on getting a mortgage for the first time at the tender age of almost 40. My partner has had a mortgage now for over 10 years, on her second home which she now shares with me. We have very similar wages, secure enough jobs. Now I went through 8-10 years of a lot of debt, had no savings etc, but never got into any difficulties. Never missed a payments, clean history in that sense. This was all cleared about 2 years ago now and I’m saving now and more comfortable than I ever thought I would be (relatively speaking). Do lenders look that far back and will it influence the outcome? The mortgage will be about 30-40% LTV and we wont be paying out much more than we currently are. I don’t want to start getting exited and then we get knocked back because of my history.

Speak to a mortgage advisor – we got approved for our first home at 41 & 36, again with debt (but always well maintained)

Posted 1 day ago

Thanks. We’re 39 & 34 here. We have an appointment booked with a mortgage advisor on Wednesday so will see how that goes.

Posted 1 day ago

Thanks. We’re 39 & 34 here. We have an appointment booked with a mortgage advisor on Wednesday so will see how that goes.

I wouldn’t stress about this; it sounds like you’re in a good place financially now.

Posted 1 day ago

Surely if anything, a history of taking out credit with reliable repayments and no defaults will help make you low risk in the eyes of a mortgage supplier?

Posted 1 day ago

You’d think, eh?

Without getting ahead of myself it’s probably more the stress of selling the current house that will be the difficult part. Thankfully where we are is still really popular. Fingers crossed for first time buyers!

It’s often situations like this that I struggle with. I get into a spiral about whether or not I deserve it, or if I can do it etc. I know there will be lots of hurdles ahead but moving away from this area would really help me I believe.

Posted 1 day ago