Lending money to a friend

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  • Lending money to a friend
  • Premier Icon geoffj
    Subscriber

    So, a friend has been asked by a friend to lend him some cash. Not a huge amount in the grand scheme of things, but not the sort of amount you could whistle good bye to easily.

    The friend is very good friends with the friend who wants the money and is 90% sure it would get paid back, but is more concerned about the strain it would put on the relationship.

    What say you lot?

    nicolaisam
    Member

    90% = No chance 😯

    bencooper
    Member

    I’ve not lent to or borrowed from friends, but I’ve gone into business with friends.

    They didn’t stay friends.

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Subscriber

    I was asked to lend a mutual friend £10k. I said I’d think about it and then declined. The person who asked me has never spoken to me since. He had been my best friend for 20+ years as well.

    I’m quite annoyed by the whole thing to be honest.

    Markie
    Member

    In such a situation, one will certainly lose either the loan or the friendship, and quite possibly both.

    lodious
    Member

    in this case, 90% = 0%

    stevepitch
    Member

    Depends on the amount but if a lot Don’t do it, it’s asking for trouble.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    My 2p.

    If someone I was close friends with was short of money for a specific reason and I knew about it I might consider offering them to lend money to tide them over.

    If they asked me for money I’d say no. They’ve clearly exhasusted other sources of credit.

    neninja
    Member

    Someone who my wife works with asked her if we’d be guarantors for her mortgage. I’ve never met her and she’s not even someone my wife socialises with! She’s also someone with a long record of financial problems with credit card debts etc.

    I burst out laughing when my wife told me. How cheeky can you get?

    Then a few weeks later, my brother who is the most hopeless person with money ever, asked me to guarantee a loan for several thousand pounds.

    Premier Icon geoffj
    Subscriber

    If someone I was close friends with was short of money for a specific reason and I knew about it I might consider offering them to lend money to tide them over.

    This is what I think, but there are cultural differences between the firend and the friend’s friend which may have blocked some of the queues.

    project
    Member

    Freinds are always good freinds when they want money, refuse and they become an enemy.

    Banks lend money, not freinds.

    patriotpro
    Member

    If I had it it would depend on what it was for – What is the loan for?

    If I didn’t have it, then I would tell them no.

    Neither a fender or a burrower be.

    DM52
    Member

    I work with the mantra ‘never lend money out if you expect to see it back again’.

    People have paid me back others have not, it is incredible how some people are willing to put a monetary value on years of friendship and cash it in.

    I hate money but it is really handy.

    From personal experience of lending to friends, I’d say definitely not. They tend to take the piss with repayment.

    On the flip side – a mate has lent me £3.5k on three occasions now when cash flow has been tight. He always gets it back before asking and I make sure it’s financially beneficial for him too. Suits us both and he knows I won’t take the piss.

    yossarian
    Member

    If i have got some money spare I always help good friends out. I work on the principal that the universe will see me right if they can’t. I’ve yet to be disappointed.

    From memory I have 2 outstanding debts from mates. One is for around £400 which he is never going to pay me back. We’ll sort it out some other way, probably help me paint the outside of my house for a week in the summer which is cool. The other is for around £100 to a mate that i’ve borrowed cash off in the past as well. I don’t want or expect him to pay it as I’ll probably tap him up for a lend the next time we are out and about. Its all cool.

    Premier Icon Doh1Nut
    Subscriber

    If you have a bank chasing you for a payment and a friend requiring a payment and not enough money to pay both then you will always pay the bank first.

    mrmoofo
    Member

    I work with the mantra ‘never lend money out if you expect to see it back again’.

    People have paid me back others have not, it is incredible how some people are willing to put a monetary value on years of friendship and cash it in.

    I hate money but it is really handy.

    Is a good amswer

    I lent a friend 400 quid 20 years go – he had debts, all because of his own recklessness and rubbish money management.

    He asked me – as he was in dire straights – he need to pay someone to get them off his back.

    Now, i have always been frugal with money and truy not to waste it. I lent him the money and wrote it off. I just accepted I would never see it again …

    I haven’t – but I have had three holidays in RSA staying at their house, eating their food and drinking their beer.
    When we moved back from CH rather more rapdily than expected, they were on vacation in the UK, so turn up , move, emptied and humped boxes …

    Depends on the friendship … there is more to life than money.

    Premier Icon cb
    Subscriber

    If they are indeed your friend and you can afford to lend the money – why wouldn’t you? Maybe its down to the definition of ‘friend’, I have only a few friends – everyone else are just ‘people I know’. I’d judge it on the individual rather than just refuse to lend to any friend.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    I lent him the money and wrote it off. I just accepted I would never see it again …

    See, I’d treat that as giving them the money.

    If I lend somebody something it’s in the expectation I’ll get it back because that’s the understandign that we have.

    If I made it clear it was being done on the basis ‘you clearly need this more than I do and you’ve been a good mate to me so just take it and I hope you get yourself sorted out’ then fair enough but if someone asks for a loan then both parties have to expect it to be repaid.

    theocb
    Member

    Definately lend to close mates if you can afford it.

    boblo
    Member

    TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTR – Member
    From personal experience of lending to friends, I’d say definitely not. They tend to take the piss with repayment.

    On the flip side – a mate has lent me £3.5k on three occasions now when cash flow has been tight. He always gets it back before asking and I make sure it’s financially beneficial for him too. Suits us both and he knows I won’t take the piss.

    With that strange double standard, it’s lucky you are not your friend isn’t it?

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    If you don’t know your mates well enough to know whether they’d be good for the money, they’re not close enough mates to be lending money to.

    There’s friends I’d lend to in a heartbeat, and ones who I wouldn’t in a million years (unless I was happy to write off the money). Not that any of my friends are dishonest, but a couple are financial road crashes.

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    What Cougar said. That’s exactly how it works with me, have some very good friends and not see stuck if I had some to spare them. Not how much I’d be willing to right off though.

    Premier Icon momo
    Subscriber

    For me, significant sums of money, not a chance. A ‘friend’ of mine still owes me £400 from a few years ago that I gave up any hope of seeing again.

    I don’t mind paying for things or lending someone £20 on a night out as I know that they’d do the same for me if I needed it, but larger sums of money will always put a strain on any friendship.

    Premier Icon richmtb
    Subscriber

    I took out a loan on behalf of my brother so he could by a new car. On the understanding that if he doesn’t pay back the loan I get to repossess his car.

    Its a Mitsubishi EVO VIII so I considered this a win / win scenario.

    Close mates and family who need a bit of help and are trustworthy I wouldn’t hesitate.

    Rather that than legalised loan sharks / parasites getting their hands on them.

    beaker2135
    Member

    In such a situation, one will certainly lose either the loan or the friendship, and quite possibly both

    On the money Markie

    daveb
    Member

    I have a friend that I have just given a quite large loan to. He has told me he can pay it back by the end of April, I doubt that but gave him it knowing I will get it back at some time in the next 3 or 4 months. If its a close friend then I would hope I could always help, as I would also expect that help.

    I have given people a loan of cash in the past that has taken a while to pay back, while waiting it has strained things but once they have paid all good again and I would never hold it against them, I am sure good friends would never intentionally take money from someone with the intention of keeping the money, and if they do you have found it (at a cost) that they arent good friends.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Anecdotally,

    I once lent some money to a lad I’d known for a couple of years at Uni. It was a couple of hundred quid to pay his rent. We promptly lost touch with each other, and I spent years kicking myself for being taken advantage of.

    Maybe 15 years later, I got an email from him out of the blue (the joys of the Internet), wanting to meet up. He apologised, said it wasn’t intentional but he’d felt guilty about it for years, and repaid me the money. We said we’d keep in touch, and I’ve not heard from him since. That was several years ago now.

    People are strange.

    Pigface
    Member

    I helped a mate out with quite a big loan, he would of lost his house otherwise. He paid me back every penny so it can work.

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    I had this dilemma a few years ago. So I decided to give the friend the money, rather than lend it to him.

    The result is that we are still great friends.

    For the first few years he wasn’t in a position to repay me, but the number of times he’s always been first at the bar, given me lifts etc. I consider we’re probably even now.

    It wasn’t as much as I’d have lent him (probably) and the strain would have driven us apart (probably).

    Premier Icon geoffj
    Subscriber

    BigJohn – Member
    I had this dilemma a few years ago. So I decided to give the friend the money, rather than lend it to him.

    The result is that we are still great friends.

    For the first few years he wasn’t in a position to repay me, but the number of times he’s always been first at the bar, given me lifts etc. I consider we’re probably even now.

    It wasn’t as much as I’d have lent him (probably) and the strain would have driven us apart (probably).

    I think this maybe the answer

    d45yth
    Member

    he’s always been first at the bar

    This used to make me mad! I’ve lent small amounts of money to my ‘old’ mates, they’d be out on the ale a week later but they’d say they couldn’t afford to pay me for a week or two! Tossers! If you owe money, you stay in and don’t waste money on the stuff you don’t need!

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    When I said “always first at the bar” I meant when the two of us went to the pub. e.g. he’s always bought more beer for me than I have for him. I’m happy with the way it’s worked out.

    nicko74
    Member

    Lending to (or borrowing from) family is about as far as I’d take it, tbh. Unfortunately, friendships can be ruined by things like money; but you’re still family even if it goes wrong (generally).

    Tbh, I don’t think I’d want to borrow from a friend either though. Say you borrow £10k or similar; then you next see your mate out at the pub – would you not be really stressed that he might make some joke about how you should be saving your cash to pay him back, not spunking it on beer?

    (could just be me, mind)

    Premier Icon mattbee
    Subscriber

    If I can afford to ‘lend’ to a friend I just consider it a gift. Any pay back is a bonus. If I can’t afford to give to them I don’t.

    freddyg
    Member

    Lending to (or borrowing from) family is about as far as I’d take it, tbh

    I know each situation is completely different, but I’ve lent money to a really good mate and to my Brother.

    The mate paid me back within 2 months – £4k.

    My Brother did a runner with the money, my HiFi, a games console and some furniture. He was in debt on a rented house and legged it leaving all my stuff behind. He’s been in touch since asking for more saying he’s getting himself sorted, but he’s not getting another penny out of me. My sister keeps bailing him out though – I dread to think how much.

    Premier Icon njee20
    Subscriber

    Also anecdotally, and not totally relevant, I went to Uni with someone who would ask for small amounts of money (£10 or so) at regular intervals: “aaah, forgot my wallet again, can you get my lunch in, I’ll pay you back” etc etc, then would buy a drink when you’re out and say “well that was £3, so I only owe you £7 now”.

    Really annoyed me, and I was never the scammed party!

    I’d lend a few close friends money, some I really wouldn’t. If they deemed that worthy of terminating our friendship then they’re not worth having as friends.

    DrJ
    Member

    “A friend in need is a friend in debt”

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 44 total)

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